An issue with age gap, how to get through

[sejinthejong]

I met this girl through work. She's working part time and going to college. I'm 35 and she's 20-21.

A few things about this girl is that she's very compliant with me. Receptive to my touches. Have some commonalities in music etc. Basically all things point to the fact that she's attracted to me (mostly via compliance tests)

But her perspective on her age gaps is the little hiccup I'm running into.

I was telling her about my previous dating relationships when I was 19, I was dating a girl that was 24-25. She replies that she was 'taking advantage of me'. She mentioned this a few times before but I always kind of dismissed it and moved on. But it seemed like she kept bringing it up because she felt attracted to me but had this world view of hers that was conflicting with how she was feeling or she just brought it up.

Her: She was taking advantage of you. You were so young.
Me: No she wasn't. It wasn't even that big of an age gap.
Her: That's a big age gap. Usually when there's a huge age gap, the older one is grooming the younger one.
Me: I don't know about all that.
Her: I wouldn't ever date a guy that's 18 at my age. Like I'm so different now from when I was 18 in terms of maturity etc.
Me: I don't think it's an age thing. I think it's an experience thing. I've met girls that were younger but tend to be more mature than women my age.
Me: And plus girls tend to mature faster than boys and in general they're more socially savvy than most men. I don't think they're that stupid to be let themself be groomed or w/e youre saying
Her: But see that's the double standard, girls are held to this hire standard of being the mature one while guys, when they act immature, 'theyre just being boys"
Her: blah blah (i forgot what she said more)

Me: I've dated girls way younger than me.
Her: How far apart?
Me: When I was around 29, I dated a girl that was 21.
Her: (looks at me side-eyed) And it didn't work out did it?
Me: We broke up cause of the pandemic.
Her: But it still didn't work out. She keeps going about it blah blah.

Me: I know I'm older but I tend to date girls around 23-28, that's my preference. Girls my age are either wanting to get married, too serious, or have baby fever. I have a youthful energy and tend to want girls with youthful side.
Her: You mean immature? (teasing me about 'youthful)
Me: I give her shit and tickle her a bit and we keep it moving.

Other than this convo, we usually talk about other things like traveling, w/e. But she teases me a lot about my age like 'being a grandpa' or going "omg, shouldnt you be married with kids' etc. which I just give her a little smack like you would with a little kid.

Overall, she's comfortable with me if I touch her and very compliant, but she frequently brings up this topic of age gap and 'grooming', how do I get around her logical objection of never dating someone that's way older than her, yet her behavior says she's attracted to me?

 

[Warped Mindless]

You are making the mistake of getting into a logical discussion on the topic. You won’t change her mind with logic so change her emotions.

Her: that’s a big she gap she was clearly grooming you
You: oh she groomed me to do a lot of things *wink*

Then change the subject. Work on arousal, COMFORT, and fun. Stop with the logic BS.

 

[Will_V]

Her: She was taking advantage of you. You were so young.
Me: No she wasn't. It wasn't even that big of an age gap.
Her: That's a big age gap. Usually when there's a huge age gap, the older one is grooming the younger one.
Me: I don't know about all that.

Do not deny or argue your way out! This is the most fundamental rule for talking to women.

I lost my virginity to a woman 7 years older than me. When girls have asked me about it I sometimes tell them with a smile that she 'took me home' and 'taught me the ropes' and things that deliberately exaggerate the perception of an imbalance between us.

One of the best frames to use whenever you want to talk about a topic that involves an perceived imbalance of power between a man and a woman is simply to put the woman on top in the frame and express it as a good thing. Especially if you joke and make it lighthearted it's very hard for her not to be completely disarmed.