Another Love Dilemma

[Raphael]

Hey Guys,
Another love dilemma was what brought me here. I know and I am humble enough to admit when is better to ask for help and what better place to do that than Girlschase website.

Cut to the chase, i have met a girl in my classe. I invite her for several coffees(not dates, more like "ok we finish the class lets invite her to coffe until the next class in about half-hour) only to realize that i didnt close with a kiss, We just talk and talk.. and i keep fixing eye contact ( She even says, stop looking at me a feel shy, in a shy way) I am a bit afraid of entering the friend-zone, because of so many launches and coffes and no kiss. However i dont do actions of a Friend-Zone man...I am actually pretty scarce, i have my opinions.. etc)
I want an opinion. In the line between " A Man go after what he wants" and " You are chasing to much", what questions should be answered to know that i am on the right path?
In one hand i am very flirty and scarce, however am afraid of attraction expiration date.
me and her aer on the same group on a project .. and she evens asked me some questions about " how the project" and i answered " Dont worry shorty " ... and she answered me " I am trusting you tally " ... ( like tall but like shorty in meaning)

Tell me some opinions, some experiences, some way to know or test if she likes me , ask me questions......i want to be helped..
Thanks.

 

[someone]

You need to be aware of escalation windows. If you keep inviting her out for coffee, there is no escalation. As the male, your role is to push the boundaries and see how hard she pushes back. Flirting starts innocently but escalates as rapidly as the woman allows it to. You need to be willing to go full throttle and let her apply the brakes when necessary. Then it's a careful game of velocity management, just like driving a car. How would you feel if all this time you've just been inviting her out for coffee another classmate, or a guy you're not even aware of, has managed to invite her for coffee, then back to his place, then to bed?

Also, Chase stresses the importance of bedding a girl ASAP (like, the first date). Failure to do so may lead to a loss of attraction. I personally think that this depends on the desirability of the girl. If she has lots of suitors, she's going to lose interest more rapidly than if she doesn't. So, in this case, without knowing the desirability of this girl, it's hard to be certain.

 

[Raphael]

What Chase says about bed ASAP depends on context, we need o realize this is a situation where we go coffee between classes, there is no space for sex, or location.. And she is shy and school oriented xD..

What would you do to see her desirability and interest? what would you do? just sit and see if she initiates something?

Thanks for your time btw mate

 

[someone]

What Chase says about bed ASAP depends on context, we need o realize this is a situation where we go coffee between classes, there is no space for sex, or location.. And she is shy and school oriented xD..

What would you do to see her desirability and interest? what would you do? just sit and see if she initiates something?

Thanks for your time btw mate

Going to coffee repeatedly between classes is something friends do, or people in a committed relationship. Nothing will get you into the friends-zone faster than routine and predictable behaviors like daily coffee between classes.

I would not sit and wait for her to initiate at all. One day, instead of going to coffee I would tell her that I'm too busy with whatever, but that I'd like to see her. Then I'd invite her to dinner. But, that's what I would have done early on (say the first week). If you've been going to coffee together for a while now, that approach likely won't work as it will come across as incongruous (not your typical behavior) and she'll become suspicious and/or nervous about your intentions.

Being scarce isn't just a measure of quantity (she only sees me 30 minutes every day) it's also being unpredictable. If she can count on seeing you at lunch every single day for a coffee, then you're not really scarce (in quantity, yes, in behavior, no). I only use the water from my shower for 15 minutes each day, but that hardly makes it a scarce commodity. My shower is trusty, reliable, and always there for me when I need it.

So, at this point, if it was me, I'd take a break from the coffee breaks as hard as that may be. Then, once a week has passed with minimal contact (truly being scarce), I'd try a hard reset of the relationship and see if I could escalate things more rapidly with the clear intention of sleeping with her / being romantic / NOT being a friend.

I am going to medical school, I know the academic / school-oriented types, and they have the same needs as anyone else.

She is obviously interested, but it sounds like she may be somewhat inexperienced and innocent (again, how old is she?).

 

[Raphael]

How can you say she is obviously interested? She is 20 years old..

How can i be more unpredictable? I can cut the coffes ofc... and make me scarce.. but at that time some other guy can take my place..

Thanks