Anxiety and Excitement Exist On The Same Emotional Spectrum

[James D]

I was out approaching girls today.

After number closing an absolute stunner, I took a pause to reflect.

A little over a year ago, a pretty girl would come in view and I'd freeze. I was dead scared and anxious.

Now?

When I see an attractive girl, I'm excited. I'm charged. My brain is already figuring out how I can approach her. My feet move before my brain can figure out what the heck is going on.

Which brings me to this:

Anxiety and Excitement are the same emotion, manifesfed on different ends of the emotional spectrum.

I came across this idea on a YouTube video a while back but I can't for the life of me recall which one it was (will link it if I remember)

The gist of it is that any emotion rooted in anxiety and fear has its polar opposite in the form of excitement.

Let's take an example we all can relate to. You're in a mall and you see a super sexy girl with an amazing ass, long flowing black hair, looking like a young Monica Bellucci (that's my type haha)

Let's flip the anxious thought into an exciting one.

I'm scared to approach this hot girl because if she rejects me, my self esteem will crash (Scary, anxious thought)

This hot girl over there could end up sucking my dick if she's available and things go right. (Exciting thought)

Is this exciting thought far fetched and unrealistic?

Lemme ask you this:

Can you assert with full certainty that the probabilty that this girl ends up sucking your dick is zero?

No, you can't.

If she's available and thinks your approach is decent enough to give you her number...

If you don't mess up the texting and she's open to going on a date with you...

If you do a half decent job at building a connection with her while arousing her,...

If you don't pussy out on when she opens her window and if you escalate semi decently...

And you yank your pants...

She takes your dick and puts it in her mouth.

My point?

The probablity isn't zero.

Read that again:

The probability isn't zero.

Isn't that reason enough to be excited?

So, whenever you feel fear and anxiety, try to find its polar opposite in the form of excitement.

For me, the very fact that certain outcomes are possible, even if I estimate them to be improbable, I'm still excited.

It's too wonderful and exciting to think that any beautiful girl I come across could be in my bed today if I walk over to her and begin an interaction.

Probable? Maybe not.

But possible?

Heck yeah!

 

[Kvothe]

+1 and something I'm working on a lot.

An aspect of advanced that isn't as often written (though I remember seeing a post recently) is the ability to handle the down moments of seduction while maintaining the internal state. I'm working on avoiding the spiraling downward, and working to soar higher.

 

[Stark]

Man, this is excellent stuff.

Reading this right after an exciting daygame session feels surreal. I'm still reeling from the dopamine surge of the last interaction that left me in a peak state.

The last girl I talked to today - my ideal type -I approached her on the street amidst a crowd, and had a great interaction spanning close to 7 minutes.

Steady eye contact, touch compliance, and transference of sexual state. No dice pulling or meeting later, but her solid reaction and compliance further cemented into my brain that I must always take the shot with girls I fancy. You never know how the night ends up.

It's too wonderful and exciting to think that any beautiful girl I come across could be in my bed today if I walk over to her and begin an interaction.

Probable? Maybe not.

But possible?

Heck yeah!

That's an exciting frame to have, the moment you step out of the door.

Thanks for writing this!!

 

[FAB DRONES]

I was out approaching girls today.

After number closing an absolute stunner, I took a pause to reflect.

A little over a year ago, a pretty girl would come in view and I'd freeze. I was dead scared and anxious.

Now?

When I see an attractive girl, I'm excited. I'm charged. My brain is already figuring out how I can approach her. My feet move before my brain can figure out what the heck is going on.

Which brings me to this:

Anxiety and Excitement are the same emotion, manifesfed on different ends of the emotional spectrum.

I came across this idea on a YouTube video a while back but I can't for the life of me recall which one it was (will link it if I remember)

The gist of it is that any emotion rooted in anxiety and fear has its polar opposite in the form of excitement.

Let's take an example we all can relate to. You're in a mall and you see a super sexy girl with an amazing ass, long flowing black hair, looking like a young Monica Bellucci (that's my type haha)

Let's flip the anxious thought into an exciting one.

I'm scared to approach this hot girl because if she rejects me, my self esteem will crash (Scary, anxious thought)

This hot girl over there could end up sucking my dick if she's available and things go right. (Exciting thought)

Is this exciting thought far fetched and unrealistic?

Lemme ask you this:

Can you assert with full certainty that the probabilty that this girl ends up sucking your dick is zero?

No, you can't.

If she's available and thinks your approach is decent enough to give you her number...

If you don't mess up the texting and she's open to going on a date with you...

If you do a half decent job at building a connection with her while arousing her,...

If you don't pussy out on when she opens her window and if you escalate semi decently...

And you yank your pants...

She takes your dick and puts it in her mouth.

My point?

The probablity isn't zero.

Read that again:

The probability isn't zero.

Isn't that reason enough to be excited?

So, whenever you feel fear and anxiety, try to find its polar opposite in the form of excitement.

For me, the very fact that certain outcomes are possible, even if I estimate them to be improbable, I'm still excited.

It's too wonderful and exciting to think that any beautiful girl I come across could be in my bed today if I walk over to her and begin an interaction.

Probable? Maybe not.

But possible?

Heck yeah!

Great attitude. However, the other philosophy, is to feel nothing, to be more and more unreactive.
I definitely intuited this idea a while back. Now though my attitude has changed to be more steady. However I miss this. And I'm missing out on the extra adrenaline to figure out logistics.

And, I've been trying to convince myself the probability is 100% that we're having sex. But I like your idea. The probability isn't zero, but I'm not forcing it to be 100%.

I need to start doing this again because I have a lot of nervousness and no excitement. It only seems to work when I try to relax.