Appearing to be highly interested then blocking

[Nathan277]

Hey guys,

New here – good to meet you all. I’ve been approaching in London for about 6 months now, and overall things have been going well. Once I’m in state and feeling smooth, I can usually stop girls, have a good chat, and get either a number or insta close around 80% of the time. I rarely get blown out, I’m slim and fit, usually wear a simple suit, and I’ve had plenty of dates that lead to fun.

But I’ve noticed a strange pattern specifically with East Asian girls.

Sometimes when I meet one who seems keen – sometimes she even messages first before I’ve sent an opener – she’ll block me out of nowhere. Occasionally I’ll send an icebreaker, she’ll like it, and then a few hours later… blocked. Other times I’ll suggest a drink a day or two later, and even after positive messages, I get blocked.

It’s happened enough times that I’ve started to wonder:

1. Is this cultural? (e.g., girls in East Asian cultures feeling guilty or “slutty” about dating a guy they met in public)
2. Is it an attainability thing? (I tend to be confident/direct – I usually stop them on the street or in a shop and say I think they’re cute so figured I’d say hi.)
3. Or is it just low interest that I’m misreading?

What throws me off is that if a girl’s interest is low, I’d expect ghosting, not her blowing up my phone for a bit and then blocking me.

Chinese girls in particular seem to be quite hesitant when it comes to dating guys, but generally Korean girls or the stunningly beautiful Chinese girls seem to be a lot more open and smoother to get on dates.

Has anyone else experienced this with girls? Appreciate any insights – cultural dynamics, logistics, or game tweaks I might be missing.

Cheers,
Nathan

 

[Atlas IV]

That's interesting. I have approached/dated a lot of East Asian girls and never had a problem of girls blocking me out of nowhere (or at least very rare).

Need to know more detail. How are you approaching and how does the conversation go? What do you say and what do you text them?

 

[KJ Francis]

usually wear a simple suit

Is it an attainability thing? (I tend to be confident/direct – I usually stop them on the street or in a shop and say I think they’re cute so figured I’d say hi.)

Sounds like it. You approach in a suit, like after work?

Maybe the generic opener causes like a "he does this all the time" feeling. Situational openers or a compliment more specific to her might help it feel more natural and personal.

Chinese girls in particular seem to be quite hesitant

stunningly beautiful Chinese girls seem to be a lot more open and smoother to get on dates

 

[Nathan277]

I generally approach pretty directly, and this has happened maybe four times now. I usually open with a chill compliment, chat for a few minutes with the usual material, deep dive a bit to understand her as a person, then go for the number or Insta close.

For example, I stopped a 20-year-old Chinese girl on the street and chatted with her for about 3–4 minutes. I opened by jogging up from the side and saying I thought she was cute, so I figured I’d come say hi. After the intro, we talked about how she was finding life abroad, her motivations, passions, etc. I did some investment and qualification, chase-framed her a bit. At one point she asked if I had a six-pack, and I replied, “Maybe a bit down the line you can find out.” She laughed and seemed sexually curious, and overall the whole thing seemed a good vibe. Only caveat was at the beginning she thought I was a finance guy, and joked that "us finance guys don't exactly have a great rep".

After a bit more chatting, I invited her for a drink right then, but she declined (it was 11 p.m. and she was heading home from the airport and said she was too tired but how about tomorrow or later in the week). We exchanged Instas. About 20 minutes later, before I’d even sent an opener, she messaged me first, saying wow she couldn’t believe I’d been to China. When I got home later to reply, I found she’d blocked me.


Another time, I approached a 20-year-old Chinese girl in a supermarket. I opened playfully by asking if she knew where a Chinese product was, then said, “I’m kidding I don't really care, I just thought you were cute.” She was crouching with her hands full of groceries, so I told her to stand up so we could talk more easily. Her eye contact was strong and her face lit up when I told her she was cute, and we chatted for a few minutes about her passions, experiences, and life abroad. I teased her for forgetting a basket and joked that she liked living abroad because of all the handsome guys.

My wingman, who walked past as we talked, later told me she seemed very interested. I Insta-closed her, suggested grabbing a drink sometime, and she agreed. I sent her a message saying it was cool to have met her, which she liked quickly. The next day, I followed up with a playful message about her carrying too much stuff and mentioned a super spicy restaurant I’d been to that I couldn’t handle. I asked what her schedule looked like for a drink later in the week. Fifteen minutes later, she blocked me. A week later she unblocked me, but ignored my follow-up.


This has happened a couple more times, always after an interaction where I felt very confident and in state. What confuses me is that the interactions feel smooth, and with older Chinese women (24–25+), or HK/Korean girls I usually end up on a date that leads to sex within an hour or two of meeting (including a very beautiful and socially savvy airline hostess). Many of them even enter my rotation. But I’ve noticed that girls from Hong Kong, Taiwan, or Korea are far more open to dates, while younger mainland Chinese girls seem more insecure or avoidant – they’ll happily enjoy the validation, but nothing comes from it. Expect a lot of ghosting.


For context, I’m in my early 20s, white gen z and don’t have my own place, so I rely on going back to the girl’s place. Out of my recent lays, about 11 have been with East Asian girls, including a couple of virgins, but only three or so were mainland Chinese – despite most of the Asian girls I approach being from mainland China.

It’s a long post, but there’s a lot to unpack here.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

 

[Levo]

My experience with the Chinese is they view dating much more transactionally than we do in the west. They want you to have a good job and money and status. Thats it. They do not care how cute and charming you are. They do not date for love. Especially when they're young they KNOW their sexual value and want to use it to social climb. Thats the objective.

Had a Chinese FB when I was still in college and she straight up said to my face 'haha I'd never date you, you couln't support me' even though we had just had sex. She later married a nerdy guy with a phd but complained about him a lot, but theyre still together and have kids because career and stability > love.

What I imagine might be happening is your suit probably hooks them, and then if they don't like what they see on your socials they will block you. Or suggesting something casual like a local pub for a drink instead of a nice restaurant makes them think youre cheap/poor.

If the girl is Chinese and already living in London then she comes from a high enough status family already for her to get there. So she probably has her own money and idea of where she fits and if shes going to date a white guy he better be all that.

 

[Nathan277]

Sounds like it. You approach in a suit, like after work?

Maybe the generic opener causes like a "he does this all the time" feeling. Situational openers or a compliment more specific to her might help it feel more natural and personal.

I can see where you are coming from here, had a few issues with girls thinking I'm a playboy before. Thank you very much for your advice, I will keep this in mind going forward

 

[Nathan277]

My experience with the Chinese is they view dating much more transactually than we do in the west. They want you to have a good job and money and status. Thats it. They do not care how cute and charming you are. They do not date for love. Especially when they're young they KNOW their sexual value and want to use it to social climb. Thats the objective.

Had a Chinese FB when I was still in college and she straight up said to my face 'haha I'd never date you, you couln't support me' even though we had just had sex. She later married a nerdy guy with a phd but complained about him a lot, but theyre still together and have kids because career and stability > love.

What I imagine might be happening is your suit probably hooks them, and then if they don't like what they see on your socials they will block you. Or suggesting something casual like a local pub for a drink instead of a nice restaurant makes them think youre cheap/poor.

If the girl is Chinese and already living in London then she comes from a high enough status family already for her to get there. So she probably has her own money and idea of where she fits and if shes going to date a white guy he better be all that.

Yeah Chinese dating culture sounds incredibly toxic - Got a close Chinese friend who echoes similar sentiments. I enjoy a challenge though so I'll adopt a mindset of seeing it as a chance to grow and improve my game. Thank you very much for your insights, very very helpful and interesting too.

 

[Atlas IV]

What I imagine might be happening is your suit probably hooks them, and then if they don't like what they see on your socials they will block you. Or suggesting something casual like a local pub for a drink instead of a nice restaurant makes them think youre cheap/poor.

If the girl is Chinese and already living in London then she comes from a high enough status family already for her to get there. So she probably has her own money and idea of where she fits and if shes going to date a white guy he better be all that.

I agree with this. The suit is probably hooking them, but in a "boyfriend vetting" way. They probably have some idea about the kind of guy you are, but possibly something in your Instagram is incongruent and that causes a knee-jerk bad response.

Either that or it's something in your approach. You could figure it out for sure by avoiding Instagram altogether and only getting their WeChat/WhatsApp and see if the blocking issue persists.

My experience with the Chinese is they view dating much more transactually than we do in the west. They want you to have a good job and money and status. Thats it. They do not care how cute and charming you are. They do not date for love. Especially when they're young they KNOW their sexual value and want to use it to social climb. Thats the objective.

This was true of the Millennial generation in China (and may still be true of the well-off traditional girls who study abroad). I will however say that the new young generation in China (22 and below) is completely opposed to this old "transactional" way of thinking. They hate the rat race and the pressure from family to settle down, and are very anti-materialistic. To illustrate this, the new trend in China is "convincing with fakes" (you are no longer cool if you wear Belenciaga, but you are if you wear fake Balenciaga that's convincing enough to fool people - it's like a middle finger to the establishment).

Also, social programming in China is very different due to the highly insular social media environment there, which is why young mainland girls react so differently to other East Asian girls on cold approach.

There are advantages to this if you can figure out how to navigate the patterns of their thinking, because of the high degree of uniformity.

For example, when I was in China a couple months back I asked a PUA friend I met there for help with texting a girl who was being very flakey. Not only was he able to secure me the date, he was able to accurately predict how she would respond to every text he sent - like a game of chess unfolding. It was uncanny to watch. He said he could do this because mainland girls fit certain "types" and he knew what type she was.

There are PUAs like him in China who have "cracked" the social programming, know exactly how to push girls buttons to get to sex, and can pull with mind-blowing consistency (basically a new girl every night).

So I believe there's a learning curve to figuring out what works in seducing mainland girls, but once you've figured it out, then it's as easy as it gets.

 

[Levo]

There are PUAs like him in China who have "cracked" the social programming, know exactly how to push girls buttons to get to sex, and can pull with mind-blowing consistency (basically a new girl every night).

So I believe there's a learning curve to figuring out what works in seducing mainland girls, but once you've figured it out, then it's as easy as it gets.

Its like that here too. Its just easier to see it as an outsider.