- Joined
- Oct 21, 2023
- Messages
- 398
Hey first off I am not an advanced guy. I am just a fellow struggler against the our main enemy Approach Anxiety! 
I started approaching late last year. I would go out and walk around for a long time and come back home having opened just 1-3 girls in 2-3 hours. Sometimes even zero.
Many times I used to come back home with zero approaches because " I did not see any girls of my type around". I was super selective about whom I tried to approach in terms of looks, age range, type of girl etc.
I then met a local guy who also did Game and could easily approach. He saw me and gave this advice that I am kind of paraphrasing here.
He said something along the lines of:
"Listen you have AA, you are not comfortable opening, you have to first get comfortable opening. You have to feel those sensations and that UNCERTAINTY you feel right before each open, when you don't know how the person is going to react.
You need to get comfortable handling ANY KIND of reaction you get when you open a stranger.
The ones that ignore you, the ones that look your way and then turn and walk away, the ones who give you a muted, neutral response, the ones that respond but are awkward about it, the ones that just give one word replies, the ones that are polite but still don't want to have an interaction and the ones that are happy to interact etc
You need to experience all these reactions over and over again till you become comfortable and CONFIDENT that you can HANDLE ALL OF THESE REACTIONS. So don't focus so much on the attractiveness of the girl, get this massive experience under your belt"
This is what he told me. For context this is a guy I know personally. He is not that amazing at game. But he literally CAN OPEN ANYONE! I am not kidding. And he gets great results just by volume.
He got this skill because he worked as a salesman at a kiosk in a large shopping mall for 2-3 years cold approaching people who walk by and selling them mobile phone cases etc. He told me he used to literally "open" 10 people sometimes in under 5 minutes and sometimes all of them would walk past ignoring him.
Of course its sales, so not like we should literally approach like that for Game. But he said that built an extremely thick skin for him. In one work shift of 6 hours at the mall, he would be ignored or "rejected" literally hundreds of times. He realized emotionally on a deep level that its nothing personal. And he developed the capacity to handle any kind of reaction.
When he saw me struggling with AA and I told him I do 2-4 opens everyday. He laughed at that and told me to open a minimum of 10 per day.
Again not 10 attractive women or 10 big approaches that are planned. But just open 10 women of any age or attractiveness. Open with a compliment on their shoes, clothes, sunglasses or a cold read like "Are you a lawyer or are you from xyz city or country etc?" He said I would rather you open 8 unattractive women and 2 attractive ones in a day than walk around for a long time and end up opening just 2 attractive women.
He was like you are facing all the sensations that come before opening and the reactions that come after only 2 times whereas you could have gotten 10 such experiences in a day.
This was really good advice for me. I am trying to implement it. I am still not able to open10 everyday consistently but I am a lot closer to it. And the mentality shift has been really helpful. I don't worry about attractiveness of the girl at all for the first 5-6 opens everyday.
And recently I had a back and forth with Chase on AA in another thread and he even wrote a recent article about how most guys drop out of cold approach before they get to the stage where they can open consistently. This is the article:
www.girlschase.com
In this background, I thought I would share this here. Maybe it helps someone else in this battle against AA.
I started approaching late last year. I would go out and walk around for a long time and come back home having opened just 1-3 girls in 2-3 hours. Sometimes even zero.
Many times I used to come back home with zero approaches because " I did not see any girls of my type around". I was super selective about whom I tried to approach in terms of looks, age range, type of girl etc.
I then met a local guy who also did Game and could easily approach. He saw me and gave this advice that I am kind of paraphrasing here.
He said something along the lines of:
"Listen you have AA, you are not comfortable opening, you have to first get comfortable opening. You have to feel those sensations and that UNCERTAINTY you feel right before each open, when you don't know how the person is going to react.
You need to get comfortable handling ANY KIND of reaction you get when you open a stranger.
The ones that ignore you, the ones that look your way and then turn and walk away, the ones who give you a muted, neutral response, the ones that respond but are awkward about it, the ones that just give one word replies, the ones that are polite but still don't want to have an interaction and the ones that are happy to interact etc
You need to experience all these reactions over and over again till you become comfortable and CONFIDENT that you can HANDLE ALL OF THESE REACTIONS. So don't focus so much on the attractiveness of the girl, get this massive experience under your belt"
This is what he told me. For context this is a guy I know personally. He is not that amazing at game. But he literally CAN OPEN ANYONE! I am not kidding. And he gets great results just by volume.
He got this skill because he worked as a salesman at a kiosk in a large shopping mall for 2-3 years cold approaching people who walk by and selling them mobile phone cases etc. He told me he used to literally "open" 10 people sometimes in under 5 minutes and sometimes all of them would walk past ignoring him.
Of course its sales, so not like we should literally approach like that for Game. But he said that built an extremely thick skin for him. In one work shift of 6 hours at the mall, he would be ignored or "rejected" literally hundreds of times. He realized emotionally on a deep level that its nothing personal. And he developed the capacity to handle any kind of reaction.
When he saw me struggling with AA and I told him I do 2-4 opens everyday. He laughed at that and told me to open a minimum of 10 per day.
Again not 10 attractive women or 10 big approaches that are planned. But just open 10 women of any age or attractiveness. Open with a compliment on their shoes, clothes, sunglasses or a cold read like "Are you a lawyer or are you from xyz city or country etc?" He said I would rather you open 8 unattractive women and 2 attractive ones in a day than walk around for a long time and end up opening just 2 attractive women.
He was like you are facing all the sensations that come before opening and the reactions that come after only 2 times whereas you could have gotten 10 such experiences in a day.
This was really good advice for me. I am trying to implement it. I am still not able to open10 everyday consistently but I am a lot closer to it. And the mentality shift has been really helpful. I don't worry about attractiveness of the girl at all for the first 5-6 opens everyday.
And recently I had a back and forth with Chase on AA in another thread and he even wrote a recent article about how most guys drop out of cold approach before they get to the stage where they can open consistently. This is the article:
How Long Do Most Guys Keep at Pickup?
Lots of guys get into pick up artistry imagining they’ll sleep with tons of women. Most drop out before that point. How long does the average guy stay in? Picking up girls, like anything new, exciting, yet challenging that people embark on, drops practitioners steadily along the way as you go...
www.girlschase.com
In this background, I thought I would share this here. Maybe it helps someone else in this battle against AA.
