approach anxiety on the street but not in other venue

[Smith]

Hey guys,
Before I start, I just want to say that I'm still a uni student studying away from my home town and the town I'm living in right now is almost boring. There are very limited cool places where people go to hangout (almost none I think). People just hangout at each other's flat and drink. So what I do to meet more new girls is by signing up to almost every club that sounds interesting and may attract interesting people, and so far it works to a certain extent. I have slept with one girl from the rifle shooting club, and that's a huge improvement for me given that it only took me two weeks and the uni only just started. But I'm still not satisfy with the amount of women I'm meeting. I only have approach anxiety when it comes to approaching girls on the street. I don't know what it is but I found the timing very hard, like I don't know when to approach, and people are usually going somewhere during the day. So sometimes I have to run to catch up to them, and the reaction is always different, but most of the time they get startled.
Whereas in a social situation, I can easy chat up a new girl using situational opener and let my fundamentals and skills take over.
I want to be better at approaching girls on the street ANYTIME and ANYWHERE I want. Today, I walked around for 1.5 hrs to try to approach girls on the street or just anywhere, but failed to do any approach because 1. not many cute girls out there (like one in every 30 minutes) and 2. approach anxiety. so my questions are:
1. is it worth allocating time to approach girls on the street? or shud I just approach girls on the street when I actually have to go somewhere?
2. How do you guys open a girl on the street? please take me through the whole process starting from when you first saw her. Like what if she's walking behind you, in front of you , or across the street? How do you appear effortless while approaching? It just seems like ur chasing the moment u go up to her.

Cheers
Smith

 

[Richard]

Smith,

1. is it worth allocating time to approach girls on the street? or shud I just approach girls on the street when I actually have to go somewhere?
2. How do you guys open a girl on the street? please take me through the whole process starting from when you first saw her. Like what if she's walking behind you, in front of you , or across the street? How do you appear effortless while approaching? It just seems like ur chasing the moment u go up to her.

1) It really depends on what you're trying to do, and how fast you want to make progress. Early on in seduction it's actually better to allocate time out to go practice pick-up, because the more time you invest in it, the larger your returns will be (same as any other skill). However, as you get better and better and develop abundance, you won't actually take time out of your schedule to go actively meet women, you'll go on about through your day then see them everywhere.

So, if you want to learn faster, then by all means allocate some time to actually meeting women.

2) I used to struggle with this concept myself, if you're approaching her aren't you chasing her? In reality, it's not chasing for a plethora of reasons, but let me highlight Chase's definition first:

When I say "chasing women," what I'm referring to is the guy who's pursuing a woman who isn't his, is acting cold or distant or aloof to him, and is not giving him nearly what he wants from her... a man who isn't in control.

When you approach her, who's in control of where the conversation goes? You.
If you're in control of the conversation, where can you take it? Anywhere.

Anyhow, to your actual question my friend =P

I'll dissect a general approach for you.

1) Make eye contact - since you've pointed out that you know where she is, you've had the opportunity to make eye contact with her.
2) Smile/ Pre-Open - You want a girl to know that you're there before you open her as to not freak her out.
3) Open - I am a huge advocate for going direct: "Hey I saw you walking through the store, and I had to come tell you that I think you're incredibly cute."
4) Initial Conversation and Banter - Plant the seeds for the rest of the conversation: what's she up to? what does she do in her free time? etc.
5) Deep Dive - When she mentions something you two share in common, jump further into that topic, and show her that you completely understand her.
6) Close - You can number close, or go for an insta-date, or when very advanced... an instant lay.

The purpose is to always be moving closer to intimacy (in one form or another). If you approach and remain platonic, the intimacy between you two becomes platonic. If you approach and start direct, then move towards comfortable, then towards getting to know one another, then towards getting sexual, then actually getting sexual... then things get fun.

The point is to always move towards something rather than remaining in whatever boundary you're in: (don't stay platonic, don't stay comfortable, don't stay non-sexual.. etc).

With any situation, I pretty much approach a girl the same way.

If she's behind me, I walk slower and let her pass me, then pre-open her.

If she's across the street, I'll run up to catch up to her then open her.

Also, when I approach I am genuinely curious about that person and my goal is to get to know them at their core - if I click with a girl I'll make things happen, and if not then I'll simply move on. I'm not chasing her because I'm in control, I'm directing the interaction, and she's going along with it (and usually girls end up offering more and investing more and they end up chasing).

-Richard

 

[Smith]

Thanks Richard,
It's always inspiring and encouraging to hear from someone more experienced. I think I just need a little faith every time I go out to meet women, learn to be more outcome independent and more importantly, don't give up and enjoy myself in the process.
Interesting concept on the definition of chasing - never thought about it that way. so I guess it's all about how much you are in control and not let a woman's reaction affecting you.
just another question on pre-opening. I know the principle behind pre-opening, which is to get her to look at you first to start that chasing dynamic. But I found it difficult to pre open girls who are on the move, e.g. on the street, than girls who are stationary, e.g. checking out a piece of clothing in a store.
I know you can use lingering touch on the elbow or shoulder, or a gentle nudge to get her to look at you first, or sometimes even an eye contact with a smile is enough.
So how do you preopen girls on the street who are going somewhere?
To give you an example of what I sometimes do - if a girl is walking in front of me, I would run to catch up to her then put a gentle touch on the elbow, but not making eye contact until she turn around to look at me first. some girls would get startled and freak out, especially the more conservative ones. But I can tell the conservative ones are more nervous when I open.
or sometimes, I just say "hey, excuse me..." then just deliver my opener straight away without preopening.
Then after I get to know some of the girls I approach (after 1 or 2 dates), some of them told me they don't like strangers invading their personal space, which gives me doubt about the way I pre-open.
So am I doing something wrong with my preopening? How do you be smooth with preopening?

Cheers
Smith

 

[Doctor]

1. not many cute girls out there (like one in every 30 minutes)

I can't help too much with the rest of your thread but I wanted to pick up on this.

I too used to think there aren't many cute girls where I live. That changed for me as I got physically closer to girls.

I know us men are visual creatures but we still need associations to go with those visual cues. When I was very inexperienced I didn't have those, yes a girl looked nice, but that's all it was, like looking at a poster or a piece of art. After you build up more experience with women, you get closer to them, you experience what it feels like to touch her skin, to have her butt pressed against your crotch, to feel her melt into you arms and completely submit to you. Without getting into too much graphic detail this causes your brain to associate certain visial cues with actual experiences, sexual experiences.

Now when I walk down the street I notice small details about girls which instantly turn me on. The way her waist curves reminds me of how it feels to run my hands along her body, the way her dress clings tightly to her butt gets me thinking of how exciting it felt to touch a new girl there for the first time. Aha I will stop with the cringey descriptions, you get the point!

Anyway, these days walking down the street is like walking through a porno of sexual memories. I find I am attracted to A LOT more girls in the street because they now trigger these positive sexual memories for me.

Anyway I now think there is an almost limitless supply of cute girls in my city!

I don't know how experienced you are but if you are inexperienced then just force yourself to approach and realise that these associations will come with time. If you are experienced then it might be worth actively thinking about making these associations next time you are out approaching, it might just help you go for that cold approach more often!