What's new

Approached 2000 girls but not getting the results I'm looking for

willord

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Jun 13, 2017
Messages
8
First off, I just want to take the time to thank everyone in this community for the high quality content. I have been reading pickup material for the past 3 years or so and this is by far some of the most field tested, readily applicable material I've ever seen. My own personal journey is quite a bit different than the normal guy's and what I find is that oftentimes, when I try to apply material that I read online to the field, it ends up making me worse because my mind is just wired differently than normal people.

My background is that I started game in early 2015 and basically, for some reason or another, never had much approach anxiety to begin with. I approached 15 girls on my first time out at the mall with a friend and I basically pretended to be nervous before each approach because I saw that it was weirding him out a bit that I was just going into these sets with zero hesitation on my first time. Nevertheless, I failed to get a single number that day, even after asking for it with every girl I spoke to. The numbers started coming in about a week later, after I learned that you're supposed to stay in set and vibe with the girl instead of just asking for the number outright. So I started getting lots of flakey numbers that never ended in a date because my text game and general vibe was just completely off. My friend, who's naturally more in tune with people's emotions than I am but also has much more social anxiety, helped me land my first date with an incredible blonde girl. Needless to say, it went horrible, and the dates that came after that went equally terrible. It got to the point where I had 20 dates with only one girl out of 20 that was down for a second date and ZERO lays.

It got so frustrating that I made a post on reddit about my early frustrations with game: https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comm ... o_results/

It was on my 300th or so approach that I finally got laid and it was to a girl that I just showed pure physical aggression with on the dance floor and never really connected with on a deep level. Pretty much just grabbed her, pulled her into me, got a raging hard on while dancing with her and made out with her shortly afterwards before pulling back to her place and encountering zero last minute resistance. Since then, after 2000+ total approaches, I've only managed to fuck 3 girls (a big part of that was getting into a long term relationship with girl 2 where I went on a 6 month hiatus). I know that based on my readings and my conversations with more advanced people in the game, these are pretty shitty results, and I'm fully prepared to let go of any preconceptions I have and keep an open mind to bust through this plateau.

Since then, I've been working a lot on my overall vibe and I've been seeing massive results in my career as a result, but that hasn't translated into girls so far. Recently, I've been trying to follow Chase's advice about looking for approach signals before approaching but I just see them so rarely when I go out (not the best looking guy) that it hasn't been working for me. What has been working is slowly building my state up by talking to random people, guys & girls included and just cultivating a high energy vibe of fun and then mass approaching girls afterwards. It's been consistently producing excellent initial reactions, to the point where even really hot girls have started approaching me on the dance floor and tell me they're really drawn to my energy and fun. It's definitely getting results with guys as well, where even if I go out solo, I'll always find some cool guys to wing with before the end of the night because they see me having so much fun with girls.

The problem is that this is still not converting into actual lays yet. I'm vibing with girls but fucking up the pull somewhere. The past 3 nights I went out, I had pulling opportunities for all 3 girls, but somehow fucked up every single one of them. First was a gorgeous brunette that I met through daygame and actually ended up asking me on a date via text after a month of radio silence. During the date, she ended up telling me how she was sad and just drank all day because her friend was falsely imprisoned... yeah... No way I should have fucked this up but somehow when I suggested dancing or just going outside, I ended up falling into her frame and going to play darts with her downstairs in the bar. Not sure if I should have just stood firm or give in like I did. I handled an AMOG who was trying to enter my set very well though. He was hitting on my girl so I started hitting on one of the girls in his group and got him super defensive, overall we left on good terms and my girl seemed more attracted after that. Nevertheless, she kept resisting any of my attempts to move her or gain compliance so I didn't even bother going for the kiss close or the pull. Probably should have but I've been learning that for me, it's better to slow down and try to put myself in other people's shoes than just go for it, which is my natural instinct.

Second night out, I managed to meet a cute Asian girl and opened her right after entering the club, gaining massive social proof with her friends as well by just vibing well with everyone. I left her after a bit to go hit on other girls before reengaging her at a different place in the club. Luckily, some guys ended up coming and hitting on her friends so I managed to pull her out of the club. Problem is she kept asking me to bring her to the train station and I kind of got caught in a flat out lie by leading her to my place instead and saying, "it's this way, trust me". When I got to my door, she said, "Wait a second, this is your place!". I tried to go anyways and say I just need to use the bathroom real quick, etc, but she wasn't having it and I ended up following her back to the train station, kissing her, and waiting until she got dropped off on the train. She's still pretty interested based on our texts so I have high hopes of an actual date sometime this weekend.

Third night out, I was on point at the first venue I hit. Started dancing all alone with zero inhibitions and got a hot girl excited. Some guys walked up to me and started asking me for pointers and stuff. Befriended them and opened a few sets with them but the vibe was ruined when some personal drama got introduced where one of the guy's girlfriends was cheating on him or something. Next, I walked down the street and managed to find a girl at only 12:00am, obviously a bit drunk but blew through her shit tests and pulled her close, even though every time I went for the kiss close, she kept turning her cheek. When we finally kissed, it was just for a brief moment, not a makeout. I managed to call for an UBER and escort her back to her place but once I got inside, it seems like she came to her senses and insisted that I leave after using her bathroom. I didn't want anything to do with fishy rapey situations so I left like a bitch. After that, I UBERed back to the clubs and didn't have much luck with my other approaches, though I did meet some more cool guys to potentially wing with in the future.

I'm feeling it. The results are SOOOO CLOSE, yet so far away. It's been a hell of a journey and I know that I still have a lot to work on but I'm fully prepared to make whatever sacrifices necessary to achieve my goal of bedding a new girl every time I go out at night. What I find is that every girl I've successfully fucked so far has been super into me from the very beginning, to the point where we made out within 5-10 minutes of meeting each other. I want to progress past that point and actually go through the entire seduction process successfully for once with a more neutral girl. Thanks again to everyone in this community for providing such an amazing resource and I look forward to hearing what you have to say. At this point, I'm willing to try anything to break through this plateau so I promise that I'll keep an extremely open mind to any suggestions and tips.
 

Sandman

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Apr 18, 2016
Messages
356
Hmm I think there may be two issues with your game; one is fundamentals second is analysing & improving your game.

You don't mention improving your fundamentals in your post so my reading may be off here, but have you been trying to up your fundamentals for the past two years? If not I suggest try to focus on that. In any case the fact fact you do get numbers / lays show that your fundementals are not bad.

Secondly, I think some people do not have a lot innate empathy and that seems to result in lower approach anxiety but it also dampens their ability to improve their game. I have had a lot of empathy since I was a child and was obsessed as seeming cool. As a result I would analyze every reaction of everyone and every group I interacted with. When I started the game, same thing. I analyze every interaction I have with a girl whether it ends up in bed or outright rejection (what did I do wrong? / what did I do right?) As a result, my success rate / approach rate is pretty high. (On the other hand, my general success rate is not that high because I haven't approached enough / don't have many reference points which is my sticking point.)

My advice to you would be dial up your empathy, and start figuring out what you do right / what you do wrong. Chase has an article on empathy, you can look it up. And write detailed field reports which will force you to analyze your interactions and retain your learnings.

2000 approaches... I'm impressed :)
 

willord

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Jun 13, 2017
Messages
8
mrre said:
Hmm I think there may be two issues with your game; one is fundamentals second is analysing & improving your game.

You don't mention improving your fundamentals in your post so my reading may be off here, but have you been trying to up your fundamentals for the past two years? If not I suggest try to focus on that. In any case the fact fact you do get numbers / lays show that your fundementals are not bad.

Secondly, I think some people do not have a lot innate empathy and that seems to result in lower approach anxiety but it also dampens their ability to improve their game. I have had a lot of empathy since I was a child and was obsessed as seeming cool. As a result I would analyze every reaction of everyone and every group I interacted with. When I started the game, same thing. I analyze every interaction I have with a girl whether it ends up in bed or outright rejection (what did I do wrong? / what did I do right?) As a result, my success rate / approach rate is pretty high. (On the other hand, my general success rate is not that high because I haven't approached enough / don't have many reference points which is my sticking point.)

My advice to you would be dial up your empathy, and start figuring out what you do right / what you do wrong. Chase has an article on empathy, you can look it up. And write detailed field reports which will force you to analyze your interactions and retain your learnings.

2000 approaches... I'm impressed :)

Thank you very much for your well thought out response. I just finished reading the empathy article per your recommendation and a lot of it really resonated with me. I agree that I need to keep my empathy dialed up as a default throughout the night but I'm having trouble knowing how to get started. I know Chase mentioned that I should be naturally curious about what people are thinking, what their motivations are, how they feel, and just constantly be putting myself in other peoples' shoes and considering their feelings but that really doesn't come naturally to me. Any good tips on how to progress in this area as someone who naturally has his empathy dialed down to decently low levels?
 

foggy

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,532
willord said:
Recently, I've been trying to follow Chase's advice about looking for approach signals before approaching but I just see them so rarely when I go out (not the best looking guy) that it hasn't been working for me.

Your actual, physical looks don't matter. If you have at least intermediate level fundamentals, you should be getting approach signals rather consistently. Although these signals can be quite subtle sometimes. I agree with mrre - if you want to up your game, try improving your fundamentals
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Straza

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 8, 2017
Messages
34
Thanks for the recommendation. Just finished reading it. Great article. Going to work on noticing approach signals more and gradually fine tuning based on my predictions

Good luck. Keep us posted.
 

RickF1999

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Jul 5, 2017
Messages
6
I just wanted to say that I've found this portion of the article super helpful! I think that makes perfect sense to tailor myself, and devote the time into connecting with those private & reserved girls that I want. I just know that I haven't done it enough times, and I'm motivated to increase my commitment:

"#4: You Don’t Tailor Yourself to the Women You Want
A fresh-off-the-boat Turkish car salesman tries to sell high end cars to wealthy upper crust Englishmen and repeatedly fails. “Everything I’ve learned about selling is bunk,” he tells himself. He opens a kebab shop instead.

But then, another Turkish car salesman enters the U.K., and devotes years to mingling with wealthy upper crust English, studying their habits, and working to conform himself to that stereotype. He then combines his refined, cultivated upper crust English persona with all the things he’s learned about selling. He sells lots of high end cars and makes scads of commissions."
 
Top