Approaching/Being Sexual - How does this affect value?

[Nuncle]

One of the key principles of seduction is clearly: don't seem to need anything from her otherwise she will see you as being lower in value than her.

However, obviously you have to approach in the first place and then after that you have to make it clear that you are after sex.

These principles would seem to be in tension with each other. How is this tension resolved?

(I sort of understand it but could do with some clarification from a pro).

 

[Franco]

Hey Nuncle,

Good question here, and this is something that boggled my mind a bit when I first started out.

These principles would seem to be in tension with each other.

Yes, these principles do seem contradictory to one another. In order to understand the difference, you need to understand exactly what a woman is looking for.

Women want to feel desired. A woman genuinely wants a man who sees her as a woman worth taking risks for. However, a woman ALSO wants to feel like she is desired by a man who is desired by other women. And she needs to feel that there is some sort of challenge on her part to lure you away from those other women and convince you that she is the one worth taking home.

A man who is needy is needy because he does not have other options -- and women realize this. They acquaint this with "low value," and low value can be displayed by moving slowly. If you are moving slowly, it's because you are worried about losing her, and if you are worried about losing her, it's because you do not have other options. Women instinctively know this, so that is why approaching quickly and aggressively shows that you still desire to have her, but you also will hastily move on to the next candidate if she does not follow your lead quickly enough.

So in summary, "going after sex" quickly does not actually make you needy -- not having other options in women does. And this is usually displayed through moving slowly and "not" going after sex.

I hope this provides some clarity!

- Franco

 

[Nuncle]

Hi Franco

It does indeed thanks.

Gaining more insights every day. Almost tempted to get out in the field for the Newbie Assignment!