Approaching from the side/behind

[EyManitoba]

These are situations when I still hesitate: when I have little other option than approaching from behind, or going to the girl's side. I typically get some more surprised responses. Their defense go WAY up. I'm fine with day game approaching from the front, the most important thing there is timing -- like a quick draw game -- yet sides and back are rougher. from behind I try and avoid completely, while from the side is hit or miss for me still. Any tips on approaching from the side and behind to up one's odds?

Thanks!
Mani

 

[Drck]

CREEPY!

Don't do that

 

[EyManitoba]

CREEPY!

Don't do that

Not creepy. Obviously it's not ideal, but sometimes you have to play the cards you get. Saying it's creepy, in general, to approach from the side or behind is the opposite of a way to up your chances when these situations arise.

Maybe you're imagining a bar environment, where a from behind approach is a pretty much a no-no? But on the street, it's quite doable -- it mostly just needs good (typically vocal) pre-opening and a situational opener (like she dropped something or she has something on her blouse).

-Mani

 

[Anonymous]

It definitely requires more tact and grace. Side is less alarming than a approach from behind. If you're coming from behind, what I suggest is quickening your pace to catch up, go ahead of her, but make sure to keep some space on between, both laterally and vertically, then you want to "notice" her, and stop her. You never want to start the approach from right behind her. Or if you can't get within range, you want to have the mindset of... She dropped her wallet, so you're trying to flag her down.... You're not scared or nervous about what's she's going to think.. Meaning that you are loud, and trying to get her attention. If you're loud and you make your presence known, it's less likely to make her creeped out.

 

[Mr.Rob]

CREEPY!

Don't do that

What you talking about homie? Obviously it's not ideal but, I've opened, number closed, and kiss closed many girls that I came up from behind and opened so that shouldn't be a problem as long as your vibe is warm, fun, and engaging enough to break them out of autopilot in which they fucking forget about being opened from behind in the first place.

As far as tips go I recommend using the law of state transfer to your advantage though that's easier said than done. So if you don't think your going to creep a girl out and instead you believe that your are about to enhance the fuck out of her boring life then you'll transfer that vibe to her (she might be a bit perplexed at first but if you maintain your state of awesomeness then it'll soon transfer unless she's just being a bitch) and it'll be no big deal.

So this may or may not be doable the first couple of tries but after a while, and ESPECIALLY once you get in "state" (as gay as that sounds), you'll come to have the belief that your bringing tremendous value so why the fuck make the excuse not to approach just because she's already in front of you.

Remember long hair don't care... if that even means anything. lol

-Rob

 

[Ross]

I like to be semi-playful about it and not engage into conversation right away. Get her attention first.

For example, you're walking up from behind, tap her on her shoulder but walk by, then start walking in front of her at a slightly slower pace. She'll take notice of you, then you approach her.

This is something that I've used to great effect and also observed others such as Richard/Zphix use quite often. It revolves around getting her to notice you, priming her for the actual approach. Better known as pre-opening.

This can make it so she's not as surprised as she may have been if you simply launched straight into a conversation with her.

 

[StoicMind]

I think its best to get the girls attention first via eye contact. Moreover, There was actually a recent article about Getting girls to buy in, and it spoke on approaching a woman directly and establishing eye contact; making her look at you. When this happens and you approaches she feels like she contributed to the process of talking to you, when she feel a part of the situation she will be more willing to comply and be more willing to converse with you. Otherwise, she just feels like she is being demanded into the conversation which in turn makes her reluctant to partake in it. If you can create a sense of contribution on her part after an indirect approach then its fine I guess. But it wouldn't be ideal to lets say approach a girl from the side then proceed to grab her hand an pull her in close, that is creepy and she feels in no way apart of the situation.

 

[Drck]

"Their defense go WAY up" >>> why is it that way, because she likes it? No, because its creepy. She can easily think that are not man enough to approach her from her visual field. Maybe she is thinking how long have you been following her, I would. Wouldn't you creep out if you knew that someone was following you 5-10 minutes? That is why their defense goes way up, it is creepy.

You can of course talk your way out of it, but why do it at first place? Its more work, not less, you made wrong first impression and now you have to fix it.

 

[Franky]

These are situations when I still hesitate: when I have little other option than approaching from behind, or going to the girl's side. I typically get some more surprised responses. Their defense go WAY up. I'm fine with day game approaching from the front, the most important thing there is timing -- like a quick draw game -- yet sides and back are rougher. from behind I try and avoid completely, while from the side is hit or miss for me still. Any tips on approaching from the side and behind to up one's odds?

Thanks!
Mani

It doesn't matter. I have tapped at least 30 girls on the shoulder. Sometime they see me sometimes don't. Almost all of them were cool with it. Only one girl was scared and dodged but later she was laughing so it's cool. But that's in North America. I don't know about other countries. I think cool girls like it because it shows your in charge here, especially if you stop them（they see you coming) by tapping their shoulder or touching their forearms. And from my experience, there're benefits if girls are surprised by you. Sometimes they would behave like a sheep,with blushed face. It'll be fun to watch and easier for you to move them.

 

[Smith]

I used to run into the same problem, until I started doing preopening (which Ross has already described) and it works like a charm

The principle is to get her to look at you first. So you can tap her lightly or just call out hey or excuse me, but don't make eye contact until she has looked at you first.

It'll take a couple of times to get it right, then u'll do it naturally.

most importantly, smile.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNh2X5UkDsM

James Marshal does it well here. Notice how he waited a couple of second after he said "excuse me".

- Smith