Approaching girls that seem like they might be "too young"

[gameboy]

This happens to me almost every day. I will see a girl I find really attractive, but I stop myself from approaching because in my rational mind, I think she is probably too young.

For context, I am way over 40. My preferred age range is between late 20s and early 40s. Those are not hard limits but I don't want any girls that are under age, obivously.

How do the more experienced guys here deal with this situation?

 

[Atlas IV]

Just ask her...

"Hi, excuse me, can I ask you one question?"
(Okay)
"How old are you?"
(24)
"Now a second question..."
(?)
"Are you single?"
(Yes)
"Hi, my name is ___. You look cute and interesting, I wanted to come say hi (second part is optional)"

Credit to @Karea Ricardus D. for the "are you single" opener.

 

[ZenRising]

Hi there gamboy! I've had exactly the same issue.. I'm also way over 40 and the fear of looking like a creep has been a real self-limiter that I've had to work on. That said, as Atlas suggested, I've learned to just ask their age and if they say 21 (which is too young for me), I just say, 'ah, you're probably a bit too young... you look amazing though... have a lovely day', and then I just walk away...

 

[Chase]

Asking for the age first as @Atlas IV and @ZenRising will do the trick fine. It gets you the information you’re after.

If you want to make it a little smoother, you can include it as part of a screen. Like so:

GB: [approaches & opens]​

Her: [responds]​

GB: [banter]​

Her: [banter] [showing signs of interest / compliant]​

GB: Cool, cool…. Hey: you’re not in high school, are you?​

Her: [laughs] No, no.​

GB: Okay cool. How old are you?​

Her: [answer]​

GB: Awesome. [continue conversation]​

If you’re doing something where you’re only targeting women XYZ age and older, you can still lead with “not in high school are you?” because a lot of the time girls will tell you what they’re doing instead: “No, I’m working,” “No, I’m in college,” “I’m getting a graduate degree,” etc., which you want to find out anyway.

Then when you ask for the age it’s framed as part of your screening.

So long as you wait to screen her until she shows interest or complies, you frame it as you screening her. She’s showing interest, then you’re saying, “Wait, before we go any further, do you meet my criteria?” and now she has to qualify.

Chase

 

[funkyjam]

Straightforward way to handle this issue by just asking how old she is. I also legitimately struggle a bit to determine ages. Women can be sensitive about their age though once they're in their 30s or older. Would you say there's a risk of them being turned off by the question?

 

[Chase]

@funkyjam,

I wouldn't say turned off necessarily.

It does risk seeming like putting the cart before the horse if she hasn't shown you much/any interest yet and/or hasn't offered compliance.

If you want to get a sense for the feeling just reverse the roles:

HER: [approaches you smiling] Hi!​

YOU: [shaken out of autopilot] Uh, hello!​

HER: [smiling] How old are you?​

The other way is just to hold off on the question 10-15 seconds until she's shown interest/complied, then ask.

The religious police aren't going to come throw you in the gulag for talking 10 seconds to a pretty girl who turns out to be 17 instead of 18 (unless you're in Saudi Arabia. But they'll do that regardless whether she's 17 OR 18!).

Chase