Hey everyone. I’m new on the board. Was into dating and pickup alot until i got in a relationship.
I’m the kind of person that’s in my head alot. I’m also a doom thinker and in my head i always turn things into the worst case scenario. This hasn’t exactly been very helpful in most of my previous relationships. This has brought me to this place. Before i drive myself crazy about everything that could be wrong and mess this up i wanted to ask your advice.
A little backstory so you know where i’m coming from:
I was in a relationship with a girl for 8 years. The last year of our relationship i noticed our relationship getting dull and the spark was gone. Maybe that’s normal for a 8 year relationship but it didn’t make me happy anymore. I met a girl at work who was really into me and i liked her too. Long story short, i broke up with my girlfriend of 7 years. I tell everyone and myself that it wasn’t because of the girl at my work but it probably did fasten the break-up and getting over it, since i knew she would be there. The next day after breaking up i landed in bed with this girl from work (not nice, i know) . Since then we have been dating for about 3 months now. We choose to date each other and not other people.
Everything has been good, up until a few days ago. She started texting me less. I asked her what was wrong but she told me noting was wrong.
She looks up to her niece a lot and they live together. I’ve been over a few times and last time i was there her niece invited me to come over so she could cook for us. She was really happy because it felt like approval from her niece.
So yesterday i was there for dinner but from the moment i walked in i felt this weird vibe. She wasn’t at the door waiting for me, she was busy in the kitchen. No kiss when i walked in, no smile, she didn’t look at me. I asked if i could help, they told me no, thanks. Sit down and food will be ready soon. I sat down on the couch and she sat down next to me but on the other side of the couch. I thought this was weird because she usually leans on me. The whole night she was very distant and cold to me and at times gave me this annoyed look. She was very short and to the point when she did talk to me. When her niece was gone i asked her what was up. She told me she was just very tired and had a headache (she actually has been working alot, renovating her home and she’s scared with the COVID-19 thing going on) She actually did seem tired. After diner we sat on the coach for about a hour without talking. We then went to bed, had sex but no talking after and no cuddling. Next day the alarm woke us up and she jumped straight out of bed and went to the living room. She had about an hour to get ready for work and usually stays in bed with me until the moment she really has to get ready. I put on my clothes and told her i was going home. She gave me a long hug (almost like a goodbye) and a kiss and that was that.
Usually we set up another date before i leave but we didn’t. The thing is, i have a problem with ambiguity. I like this girl, i chose for her but if it’s not gonna work out i could be wasting my time. When i ask her what is wrong she tells me there is nothing. I was thinking about texting or calling her tonight to ask again but i think that’s a weak and needy move?
Sorry for the long post. Hope you guys could help me out.
I’m the kind of person that’s in my head alot. I’m also a doom thinker and in my head i always turn things into the worst case scenario. This hasn’t exactly been very helpful in most of my previous relationships. This has brought me to this place. Before i drive myself crazy about everything that could be wrong and mess this up i wanted to ask your advice.
A little backstory so you know where i’m coming from:
I was in a relationship with a girl for 8 years. The last year of our relationship i noticed our relationship getting dull and the spark was gone. Maybe that’s normal for a 8 year relationship but it didn’t make me happy anymore. I met a girl at work who was really into me and i liked her too. Long story short, i broke up with my girlfriend of 7 years. I tell everyone and myself that it wasn’t because of the girl at my work but it probably did fasten the break-up and getting over it, since i knew she would be there. The next day after breaking up i landed in bed with this girl from work (not nice, i know) . Since then we have been dating for about 3 months now. We choose to date each other and not other people.
Everything has been good, up until a few days ago. She started texting me less. I asked her what was wrong but she told me noting was wrong.
She looks up to her niece a lot and they live together. I’ve been over a few times and last time i was there her niece invited me to come over so she could cook for us. She was really happy because it felt like approval from her niece.
So yesterday i was there for dinner but from the moment i walked in i felt this weird vibe. She wasn’t at the door waiting for me, she was busy in the kitchen. No kiss when i walked in, no smile, she didn’t look at me. I asked if i could help, they told me no, thanks. Sit down and food will be ready soon. I sat down on the couch and she sat down next to me but on the other side of the couch. I thought this was weird because she usually leans on me. The whole night she was very distant and cold to me and at times gave me this annoyed look. She was very short and to the point when she did talk to me. When her niece was gone i asked her what was up. She told me she was just very tired and had a headache (she actually has been working alot, renovating her home and she’s scared with the COVID-19 thing going on) She actually did seem tired. After diner we sat on the coach for about a hour without talking. We then went to bed, had sex but no talking after and no cuddling. Next day the alarm woke us up and she jumped straight out of bed and went to the living room. She had about an hour to get ready for work and usually stays in bed with me until the moment she really has to get ready. I put on my clothes and told her i was going home. She gave me a long hug (almost like a goodbye) and a kiss and that was that.
Usually we set up another date before i leave but we didn’t. The thing is, i have a problem with ambiguity. I like this girl, i chose for her but if it’s not gonna work out i could be wasting my time. When i ask her what is wrong she tells me there is nothing. I was thinking about texting or calling her tonight to ask again but i think that’s a weak and needy move?
Sorry for the long post. Hope you guys could help me out.
