Area

[sedy]

Hi ,there!

I am Artur I am new here I am 31 years old and just wanted to ask, I have been outside for the past 6 years 'Hunting' women. I have approached only about 3 women within SIX YEARS a few ladies would just ask for my number but I didn't overcome my shyness. I am a virgin. No that I am 31 and I am seriously depressed my libido is like 0. But nonetheless I want to improve my situation. I see those 'easy ladies' oftenly whom they call me creep now because they tried to initiate a conversation but I didn't come. I really want to move somewhere else because it feels like I am stalking people even if I don't do that, sometimes it feels uncontrollable though it is nuts. And if I think about it I want to kill myself if I am that sick in my mind?

And I can more relate to this article here: https://www.salon.com/2011/01/31/30_year_old_virgin/

Sorry for the stupid question.

Best wishes.
Artur

 

[Michael Chief]

And I can more relate to this article here: https://www.salon.com/2011/01/31/30_year_old_virgin/

Welcome. But first, what the fucking hell is that author's reply? That is just wild. For the record, I'm a huge proponent of meditation but that advice just isn't actionable.

Let's address your issues one by one here. First, you say you're depressed and have no libido. That's a very multifaceted issue that you probably need to see a therapist about, but do you exercise at least a few times a week? If you don't already, start doing so and make it a permanent lifelong habit. I myself have dealt with depression for most of my life and nothing has been as helpful as regular exercise. A healthy body supports a healthy mind.

Also, I hate to make it sound like I'm agreeing with that Salon author, but meditation is a huge help. Look up any form of real meditation such as zazen or mindfulness meditation and practice it daily, even if it's just for 5 minutes a day.

Next, you talk about wanting to move somewhere else but didn't really tell us many details. Do you live in a small town that gets no tourism and everyone already knows who you are? If that's the case, moving to a more metropolitan area can indeed be a big help.

You say that you've only done 3 approaches within 6 years. That is incredibly low, so let's get your new life started. Start with small baby steps. Do the classic PUA "Newbie Mission" of going around and just saying hi to every woman you pass by. Start a journal in the Journals forum and log your experiences.

 

[sedy]

That sounds pretty good. I began doing far more exercise than before and I tried to change my food.

Yes and no I lived in a bigger town, but I was always driving around between cities to shopping malls and where potential ladies would be around to catch them up. And the only thing I do is just sitting there and watch or walk around while someone tries to look at me or show some signs or or or but I never approached.

Yes more likely the people know me as loser who doesn't approach and just walks around like a moron...

Yes the only thing I did was getting aroused by images from the internet because I was so addicted to erotic pictures, then reality hit.

Thank you Michael Chief, anyway I will check out the Newbie Mission and sort of do a plan.

Artur

 

[rzzseducerfr]

I'm a newbie too I see your problem is that u have spent 6 years and have approached like 3 people. Some people do that as warmup approaches every outing. Listen, u havent taken action. It seems like you have paralyzing anxiety. These things need dedication and focus and willpower to fix. Are you strong enough to break through the anxiety? Is the regret and pain of living a bitchless life more than the pain and anxiety of approaching? You need to decide. What has happened is in the past and you cannot regain 6 years of your life. However, you can move forward!

Practicality>> Emotions. Things that I identify need help are with :- (1) Anxiety (2) Social Skills (3) Drive/Motivation

Practical steps that you can take RIGHT NOW->

Fix Drive
1) QUIT PORN if you watch that shit, ofcourse you won't want to approach when you can get the pleasure from the comfort of your home.
Break your comfort zone, whenever you feel horny go outside and meet women! I dont care just go and admire women if approaching is initially not comfortable.
2) START WORKING OUT working out raises testosterone which lowers stress and anxiety, makes you more confident etc. Also being in shape is more attractive. INFINITE BENEFITS, more energy etc. Please work out daily!
3) Eat clean and high protein and sleep well and long! - Helps with recovery, energy, confidence and a lot of things. It will give u the drive.

Fix Anxiety
1) Meditation-> Replace bad habits like smoking, weed etc with meditating. It helps clear out anxiety and is a superpower. Please meditate.
2) TAKE ACTION (MOST IMPORTANT POINT)-> You cannot get over a fear without continously exposing yourself to the fear before it becomes normal. Approaching in the beginning will be hell, but slowly you will get numbed to the pain of approaching and actually begin enjoying it! It takes time but you have to APPROACH. THERE IS NO WAY AROUND IT.
So check around the newbie plan and begin taking action! I'm proud of you and you got this!

Fix Social skills
Looks like you havent interacted with a lot of people so you lack strong social skills. But for that u need to start approaching. Start talking to EVERYONE men or women. Practice makes perfect. Take action and talk to the waiters, barista, people on the street etc. You will get better

In the end all of these are just a few habits you need to build->

A-Meditation Daily
B-No Porn
C-Going Out-Socializing Daily
(You need to go to bars, restuarants, clubs, parks and TALK TO PEOPLE everyday if you want to get good. There is no shortcut)
But there are a lot of ways-> You can go game on your lunch breaks, when you are free, while running errands etc. The opportunities to meet people is infinite.

Extra bonuses->
D- Working out
E- Eating clean & like a beast & sleeping well like a king

Make yourself proud.
You got this.
TAKE FUCKING ACTION

 

[sedy]

I have read Mark Mansons models which is very interesting. I went out started to speak to someone but I stuttered and it was a straight pass. But I am fine. I need to improve on many levels in hope I can find some pillars to rely on. When I was younger I used a mattress to simulate a vagina it was pretty tight and would stimulate my d*ck pretty easily. I don't think someone real will make it for me. But I do not know. People in general not only women seem to know that I have no purpose because they see I am just wandering around watching how others get numbers. It is like a curse most women who initiated a conversation with me hooked up a few weeks/months later with someone else showing up in a similar area I have been I just know from seeing him.

 

[Michael Chief]

When I was younger I used a mattress to simulate a vagina

How? Asking for a friend

 

[sedy]

I had two mattresses together with a tight slit and would put my friend down there while watching half naked women from playboy. I made that until 25 and my brain kicked in and told uhmm something is not so right here, my instincts were warning me I guess or my head had pretty weird position while acting out

 

[ulrich]

I had two mattresses together with a tight slit and would put my friend down there while watching half naked women from playboy. I made that until 25 and my brain kicked in and told uhmm something is not so right here, my instincts were warning me I guess or my head had pretty weird position while acting out

Alright, too much internet for today. I’m going back to work.

 

[sedy]

Hey man, I am only 'human'

 

[sedy]

So I went out today a lady came maybe 22 she was like a 10 out of 10 in the most beautiful outfit I asked her if she was single she clearly said yes and smiled like heaven, she wanted to hook up my heart started pounding I chickened out and acted like a she was ugly and run away. I am sick and tired of me and I want kill myself. I hate this role I am playing I am fed up by it. She will hate me forever....

 

[rzzseducerfr]

Hey atleast u took action. lol. Now next time try to be better. Dont beat urself up. 3.5 billion females on this planet.

 

[gameboy]

It's normal! My first two approaches went more or less like that. I wasn't that direct though, so it stung a bit less. The girls seemed really receptive, but after saying one or tow sentences to them I got so nervous I had to leave.

The nervousness goes away once you do more apporaches

 

[Higher]

my heart started pounding I chickened out and acted like a she was ugly and run away

Youll have to become best friends with this feeling. I still get it when i havent been approaching in a while.

Dont be afraid of it. That feeling is not your enemy. Its just signaling you that you have to approach more. Like the others said, keep going. The pains gonna go away quite a bit.

Also, add a bit more details next time. Its not only good for debugging purposes, its also great for training your visualization.

 

[sedy]

I didn't think about greeting I just went straight forward and asked, not even a hi...she wanted to go with me somewhere and adrenaline pushed. I startled, excused myself and ran. I need to learn to put that fear into aggression not in the sense of beating but with the mind of pulling I guess. It is so embarrassing this 31 year old man, they must think like "wtf" is wrong with him. I need to put that timeline in my head aside as well, there are just too many fronts. Funny to see women from 3 years ago, they developed themselves. And I am stuck...

 

[gameboy]

Hey you did a super cool approach. Don't beat yourself up. I'm 49 and the same thing happened to me at first And I would love to be able to be so direct. Should really give it a try one of these days.