- Joined
- Jan 18, 2018
- Messages
- 57
Hey guys,
(TL/DR - ex has been chasing and telling me she wants to get back together. Her apology hasn't covered everything I wanted it to. After she's failed to get me back twice she's asked to be friends. I told her we can't be friends, its not what either of us want so neither of us would be happy. I had to go and ended the call shortly after this. I Didn't tell her what I wanted or (how) to fix the problem. Should I arrange to meet up to discuss this or have I slipped up already and should just let it go?)
Back story
About 2 month ago my then girlfriend broke up with me, I wasn't that bothered about it and I have met a lot of girls since. We met up shortly after the break up and I had a feeling that she wanted me back still and that she made a mistake. At this time there were a few things that I wanted from her apology before I would even consider taking her back.
Chasing and Apologies
We were both out last weekend and she seen me with another girl and got very jealous and asked if she could speak to me the moment she was alone. She apologised a lot and even made up some excuses. I wasn't particularly won over by the apology and just didn't care to which lead to her chasing a little harder.
This weekend she ended up being out again, I kept my distance and didn't acknowledge her. She came up and asked if we could talk and so I agreed. This apology was more what I expected and she hit about 90% of what I wanted. Later on she kept hugging me even when I was being distant and she then pleaded with me to hug her back. I gave in to her chasing at this time and hugged her back. She then kissed me (and went for it), I didn't move but then started kissing her back a bit when she kept going.
A twist
The night took an interesting turn after this when her drink got spiked, I couldn't leave her in a dangerous/vulnerable situation and so I made sure I got her home safe and then left immediately to make it clear I didn't look after her to bring her back into my life.
The big issue here is I went from not caring about ever getting back with her, to now actually caring and considering taking her back because of the apology, her words and actions and how it felt being together again. I know this is a false high of endorphins but it's made me stop and think.
Don't lie to me and say you'd be happy being friends...
We spoke on the phone yesterday after she rang me a few times where she asked what had happened last night. We talked a bit and she knew that she couldn't change what had happened (the break up) even though she wanted to and said that she still wants to be my friend. I told her we can't be friends not after last night (when she said that she still loves me and wants to be with me), not after the past 8 month. It's not what she wants and neither of us would be happy and then hung up shortly after.
It's been playing on my mind a little bit since that I hadn't told her what I wanted and I hadn't told her (how) to fix the problem. I know she can't read my mind and so coming about 90% of the way there to what I wanted in an apology it's crossed my mind that I could take her back but I still need that last piece. However I'm thinking I can't cave and message her that we need to talk to tell her what I want from her to be given a second chance, but I doubt she'll come back another time after she's failed to get me twice. Am I best of leaving it altogether after missing my chance to tell her exactly what I wanted? Any ideas on how to handle this situation?
SilenceintheSnow
(TL/DR - ex has been chasing and telling me she wants to get back together. Her apology hasn't covered everything I wanted it to. After she's failed to get me back twice she's asked to be friends. I told her we can't be friends, its not what either of us want so neither of us would be happy. I had to go and ended the call shortly after this. I Didn't tell her what I wanted or (how) to fix the problem. Should I arrange to meet up to discuss this or have I slipped up already and should just let it go?)
Back story
About 2 month ago my then girlfriend broke up with me, I wasn't that bothered about it and I have met a lot of girls since. We met up shortly after the break up and I had a feeling that she wanted me back still and that she made a mistake. At this time there were a few things that I wanted from her apology before I would even consider taking her back.
Chasing and Apologies
We were both out last weekend and she seen me with another girl and got very jealous and asked if she could speak to me the moment she was alone. She apologised a lot and even made up some excuses. I wasn't particularly won over by the apology and just didn't care to which lead to her chasing a little harder.
This weekend she ended up being out again, I kept my distance and didn't acknowledge her. She came up and asked if we could talk and so I agreed. This apology was more what I expected and she hit about 90% of what I wanted. Later on she kept hugging me even when I was being distant and she then pleaded with me to hug her back. I gave in to her chasing at this time and hugged her back. She then kissed me (and went for it), I didn't move but then started kissing her back a bit when she kept going.
A twist
The night took an interesting turn after this when her drink got spiked, I couldn't leave her in a dangerous/vulnerable situation and so I made sure I got her home safe and then left immediately to make it clear I didn't look after her to bring her back into my life.
The big issue here is I went from not caring about ever getting back with her, to now actually caring and considering taking her back because of the apology, her words and actions and how it felt being together again. I know this is a false high of endorphins but it's made me stop and think.
Don't lie to me and say you'd be happy being friends...
We spoke on the phone yesterday after she rang me a few times where she asked what had happened last night. We talked a bit and she knew that she couldn't change what had happened (the break up) even though she wanted to and said that she still wants to be my friend. I told her we can't be friends not after last night (when she said that she still loves me and wants to be with me), not after the past 8 month. It's not what she wants and neither of us would be happy and then hung up shortly after.
It's been playing on my mind a little bit since that I hadn't told her what I wanted and I hadn't told her (how) to fix the problem. I know she can't read my mind and so coming about 90% of the way there to what I wanted in an apology it's crossed my mind that I could take her back but I still need that last piece. However I'm thinking I can't cave and message her that we need to talk to tell her what I want from her to be given a second chance, but I doubt she'll come back another time after she's failed to get me twice. Am I best of leaving it altogether after missing my chance to tell her exactly what I wanted? Any ideas on how to handle this situation?
SilenceintheSnow
