As a newbie if you get an attractive girl where there's a lot of mutual chemistry what are you actually supposed to do?

[770]

I'm still a newbie when it comes to game and social skills but have recently just had a really good first date (make out and great chemistry) and second date pretty quickly scheduled afterwards with a 7/8 out of 10 girl. It took me around a year of struggling a lot on the apps and on dates to finally find a pretty cute girl like her that and incorporating a lot of high value behaviors, teasing and sexuality in my dates (first time using handclasp on this particular date and it was incredibly effective!).

With this girl she is my type, but it remains to be seen if she's LTR material or it's going to pan but just the success overall of the date and seducing her introduces to me this problem where I still have a lot to grow in terms of getting more abundance with women and worrying about whether it's right or wrong to invest more in a serious relationship at the moment because it's my natural tendency to want to do that, but it would cut my seduction journey short. But the problem is I don't want to be in the situation I was in before (LTR with an 8/10 girl 19-23, made my social / dating skills completely detetoriate, and made me quite lazy). Yet my programming is to naturally want to invest in a girl if we both like each other, so I feel a little confused at the moment, especially thinking about flaking on a girl I have a date scheduled with today just because I'm not really sure how good she looks, the logitstics are pretty bad, and I already have a girl I'm interested in.

I have a lot of mixed emotions right now. Besides this girl I still have a lot of scarcity. I'm 24, and I was planning on quitting my job to take a year off to focus on game and get a clearer view of how I want to play out my life, moving out of the suburbs and moving across the country, or even solo travel around the world, eurojaunt, etc, grind more on the apps and get over my approach anxiety in person. There's still a big question of how good I can get, but just at the moment if in theory this girl really wanted an LTR, it would be hard for me to deny it...

 

[Skater]

Duuude... I feel like I'm reading about myself. I'm also 24 and, like I saw in your other thread, a programmer.

I was in the exact same position six months ago and actually just finished whining about it in a new thread on this board so I won't belabor the point too much here.

this problem where I still have a lot to grow in terms of getting more abundance with women and worrying about whether it's right or wrong to invest more in a serious relationship at the moment because it's my natural tendency to want to do that, but it would cut my seduction journey short.

Exactly! Long story short, I took the easy way out because she was my first ever lay and I wanted to see what a relationship would be like with free sex access to improve my sexual confidence.

Looking back, it was the wrong decision. I yearn to return to the field but I'd hate to cheat. She's very sweet but I'm insatiable unfortunately.

especially thinking about flaking on a girl I have a date scheduled with today just because I'm not really sure how good she looks, the logitstics are pretty bad, and I already have a girl I'm interested in.

Yep, I was going out with a different girl at the time and basically cut her off though she was a sweetie as well, but was less sexually aggressive so I never fucked.

quitting my job to take a year off to focus on game and get a clearer view of how I want to play out my life, moving out of the suburbs and moving across the country, or even solo travel around the world, eurojaunt, etc

Already did this lol. Quit after college and travelled a lot then moved out of my parents' suburban house to the opposite US coast. Began hitting the field but only lasted a month before her. Maybe I'm just that good but it really doesn't feel like it.

but just at the moment if in theory this girl really wanted an LTR, it would be hard for me to deny it...

I fell for it. My advice is, don't fall for it. But, unlike me, ultimately you could end up without regrets. As cliche as it sounds, go with your heart, even if it fools you. That's really the best anyone can do.

If you want to talk more, I'm here and very open to it.

 

[770]

Duuude... I feel like I'm reading about myself. I'm also 24 and, like I saw in your other thread, a programmer.

I was in the exact same position six months ago and actually just finished whining about it in a new thread on this board so I won't belabor the point too much here.


Exactly! Long story short, I took the easy way out because she was my first ever lay and I wanted to see what a relationship would be like with free sex access to improve my sexual confidence.

Looking back, it was the wrong decision. I yearn to return to the field but I'd hate to cheat. She's very sweet but I'm insatiable unfortunately.


Yep, I was going out with a different girl at the time and basically cut her off though she was a sweetie as well, but was less sexually aggressive so I never fucked.


Already did this lol. Quit after college and travelled a lot then moved out of my parents' suburban house to the opposite US coast. Began hitting the field but only lasted a month before her. Maybe I'm just that good but it really doesn't feel like it.


I fell for it. My advice is, don't fall for it. But, unlike me, ultimately you could end up without regrets. As cliche as it sounds, go with your heart, even if it fools you. That's really the best anyone can do.

If you want to talk more, I'm here and very open to it.

Thanks man that helps to see someone in a very similar situation too me. I’m going to reach out to ask you about stuff later

 

[770]

Duuude... I feel like I'm reading about myself. I'm also 24 and, like I saw in your other thread, a programmer.

I was in the exact same position six months ago and actually just finished whining about it in a new thread on this board so I won't belabor the point too much here.


Exactly! Long story short, I took the easy way out because she was my first ever lay and I wanted to see what a relationship would be like with free sex access to improve my sexual confidence.

Looking back, it was the wrong decision. I yearn to return to the field but I'd hate to cheat. She's very sweet but I'm insatiable unfortunately.


Yep, I was going out with a different girl at the time and basically cut her off though she was a sweetie as well, but was less sexually aggressive so I never fucked.


Already did this lol. Quit after college and travelled a lot then moved out of my parents' suburban house to the opposite US coast. Began hitting the field but only lasted a month before her. Maybe I'm just that good but it really doesn't feel like it.


I fell for it. My advice is, don't fall for it. But, unlike me, ultimately you could end up without regrets. As cliche as it sounds, go with your heart, even if it fools you. That's really the best anyone can do.

If you want to talk more, I'm here and very open to it.

Did you end up being happy with traveling and quitting your job? Are you working now, if so how did you explain the gap in time?

 

[Skater]

Did you end up being happy with traveling and quitting your job? Are you working now, if so how did you explain the gap in time?

Oh yes. My only regret is that I did not travel more. I could have but wasn't sure what I wanted so I didn't. I'm working now even though it was a little difficult to find a job but that was due more to market conditions rather than any gap on my resume; that never came up at all. And if they really try to press you on it (dick move) you can always spew some "gap year" nonsense: stupid question gets stupid answer.

But I feel there's another lesson hiding here. You're probably at least a little scared of upending your life when you're unsure about the future. I generally fall into similar thought patterns. Realize that the future is always uncertain and you'll be happier and more alive the more risks you take. A quote from Casanova may help illustrate:

Here it is. You assume that I am rich; I am not. I shall have nothing once I have emptied my purse. You perhaps suppose that I am a man of high birth, and I am of a rank either lower than your own or equal to it. I have no talent which can earn money, no employment, no reason to be sure that I shall have anything to eat a few months hence. I have neither relatives nor friends nor rightful claims nor any settled plan. In short, all that I have is youth, health, courage, a modicum of intelligence, a sense of honor and of decency, with a little reading and the bare beginnings of a career in literature. My great treasure is that I am my own master, that I am not dependent upon anyone, and that I am not afraid of misfortunes. My nature tends toward extravagance. Such is the man I am.