Asking for a date

[Hayate]

Hey

A friend of mine gave me the skype of a girl and asked me if it was possible to help her with some lessons. We met for a coffee and she was a nice girl. We didnt set up anything to help her cause she will give the lessons in 3 months. The conversation was not sexual just a typical one(lessons holidays etc..), except one compliment that I made (and she loved it) and it closed that if I needed a project that she had already made I will tell her to give it to me.

Obviously I will ask her out. Whats the best way? We have talk more on skype (on the phone only to meet her in college) so I think I can go from skype and start the conversation about the project if she also has it and then ask her out. I think its strange to text her and just set up for a date.... any advice?

 

[ray_zorse]

It's a tricky situation because she may see you more as "study buddy" or "lesson helper" or whatever, rather than lover/seducer, so it's best to be direct about things. If you get get her out on basis of "study buddy" etc then start to escalate towards intimacy it can be too abrupt for her and cause her to shut down, especially if you are a novice seducer (more experienced guys can sometimes get away with this because although they may verbalize "study date" as plausible deniability their nonverbals will be screaming "lover territory"). For you the best advice is go direct -- call her up and say "although we initially got in touch about blah blah, I realize I would like to know you better -- meet me for blah blah". I recommend to do this over phone/Skype, not text, because text will reinforce the idea you were indirect and/or shy about asking her out and couldn't be direct.
Ray

 

[Hayate]

Yo ray_zorse

Very understanding how you put it. I am trying to be direct and clear, I dont know if I should calibrate this a bit. We spoke on skype and it go well we will go on a date.
At first I thought I will speak to her and as it will go.. and she seems to like the small chat but it was going again for lessons etc.. I didnt know how to go from there slow and I said as we chatting. Ok you are beautifull lets go for a drink one of this days.. And she surprised and laughed and she told me to go for a coffee so no problem. When we set the logistics I leave it there I didnt continue with the matter that we were discussing before this. Any comments on this and general my way?