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Asking girls out in a Meetup group

Major Lance

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
17
So I go to these Meetup groups every 2 weeks. There are people that are regulars there (including me now) and most of them all know each other.

It's mostly a sausage fest but there is a lot of rotation in every event with 1 or 2 new girls who come there maybe once (I'm guessing they are single and curious to meet a guy) and then are gone.

I talk to these girls, get them a little bit interested and attracted but inevitably there comes a lull in the conversation and i get gun shy with asking them out and thinking maybe I'll see them next time but they do not return. I need to be faster and bolder and make invites, no doubt about it.

But I don't want to be pegged as a guy who is asking every new girl in the group out.

Any advice how should I balance this? Or how often should I invite them out?
 

OldGuy

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jun 10, 2017
Messages
308
Ask them out if they are showing interest, but otherwise not. Also, Chase's recent article on non-invite will be useful.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

lceman

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 1, 2021
Messages
152
just do it worst case you're the guy who shoots his shot
 

OldGuy

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jun 10, 2017
Messages
308
If there is a group of men who control access to the group, they may freeze you out as too much competition. Just join some other group.
 

Just a Man

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 12, 2021
Messages
95
I've gone to Meetup groups as a potential date source. It can work. If we've chatted and I sense interest, I take a number on that first occasion of meeting, and message next day to suggest coffee. If you were right to sense interest, you'll have a date within a week (or as soon after as she's able, if she's maybe skipping town for a few days or something).

You have to move it out of the group to a 1-1 asap. Don't rely on the Meetup as a place to develop the connection.
 

mirror

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 8, 2025
Messages
124
But I don't want to be pegged as a guy who is asking every new girl in the group out.

Any advice how should I balance this? Or how often should I invite them out?

You could try to make it a social circle game. Ask everybodies number. Create a group online. Ask the new girls their number. Hit them up online to try to set up an innocent "meetup" later. No need to call it a date when you can escalate during the meetup if you want anyway.
 

OldGuy

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jun 10, 2017
Messages
308
I assume this group is meeting for some reason. I have seen cases where there were guys who asked every new girl out. I only asked every attractive new girl out, but both were still accepted in the group. (You do have to accept rejection.)
 
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