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Asking girls out in a Meetup group

Major Lance

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
17
So I go to these Meetup groups every 2 weeks. There are people that are regulars there (including me now) and most of them all know each other.

It's mostly a sausage fest but there is a lot of rotation in every event with 1 or 2 new girls who come there maybe once (I'm guessing they are single and curious to meet a guy) and then are gone.

I talk to these girls, get them a little bit interested and attracted but inevitably there comes a lull in the conversation and i get gun shy with asking them out and thinking maybe I'll see them next time but they do not return. I need to be faster and bolder and make invites, no doubt about it.

But I don't want to be pegged as a guy who is asking every new girl in the group out.

Any advice how should I balance this? Or how often should I invite them out?
 

OldGuy

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jun 10, 2017
Messages
308
Ask them out if they are showing interest, but otherwise not. Also, Chase's recent article on non-invite will be useful.
 

lceman

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 1, 2021
Messages
152
just do it worst case you're the guy who shoots his shot
 

OldGuy

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jun 10, 2017
Messages
308
If there is a group of men who control access to the group, they may freeze you out as too much competition. Just join some other group.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Just a Man

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 12, 2021
Messages
95
I've gone to Meetup groups as a potential date source. It can work. If we've chatted and I sense interest, I take a number on that first occasion of meeting, and message next day to suggest coffee. If you were right to sense interest, you'll have a date within a week (or as soon after as she's able, if she's maybe skipping town for a few days or something).

You have to move it out of the group to a 1-1 asap. Don't rely on the Meetup as a place to develop the connection.
 

mirror

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 8, 2025
Messages
124
But I don't want to be pegged as a guy who is asking every new girl in the group out.

Any advice how should I balance this? Or how often should I invite them out?

You could try to make it a social circle game. Ask everybodies number. Create a group online. Ask the new girls their number. Hit them up online to try to set up an innocent "meetup" later. No need to call it a date when you can escalate during the meetup if you want anyway.
 

OldGuy

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jun 10, 2017
Messages
308
I assume this group is meeting for some reason. I have seen cases where there were guys who asked every new girl out. I only asked every attractive new girl out, but both were still accepted in the group. (You do have to accept rejection.)
 
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