FR++ 
Aspiring Actress

Kvothe

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
896
Met this girl through day game last Thursday. Saw her walking quickly and approached her telling her I thought she was cute. She said she was on her way to an audition, but we exchanged numbers and she told me I should text her.

Fast forward to the date.

I met her at a landmark at 6PM and we hugged for longer than a normal hug. She was dressed really well, so I knew she was trying to look good. Definitely thought she was very cute. I told her we could go to a place nearby, and she was down. We went to the bar and grabbed a booth, with some incidental touch along the way (bumping into each other). At the bar, we sat in a corner booth with our legs touching each other. We talked a lot, but it was mainly me talking (something I need to improve on). I did some deep diving and we started trading stories.

Important parts in the date:

I made some sexual jokes and she laughed. For instance she said she liked this place over Paris, because it was dirtier, so I smiled and asked her if she liked it dirty, then quickly changed subjects. Did something similar with hard and fast, and she laughed. I also told her about an acting class I was taking, and grabbed her hands and put them on my ribs to show her what I was talking about (very dominant and making the touch more cooperative).

Other points were when I compared both her and my cities we left to come here. I mentioned how in suburbs everyone knows each other, and if you sleep with someone everyone immediately knows, and how I didn't like that rumors spread so fast (attempting to communicate discretion). She asked if I approached girls often, and I told her that I only approached cute acting students. She was really good at putting the spotlight back on me, and was genuinely impressed that I approached her. I eventually changed the subject, after trying to make sure I made her feel special.

Around 7:30, we got kicked out because the booths were reserved. She wanted to grab food, so I suggested a place not too far from my place. On the walk over I seeded the pull, and she was even more impressed (starting to get bad because I think I'm falling too much into the boyfriend zone). We got food, and then I suggested we sit at a bench nearby and chat. We go, and talk, and we're sitting really close. We talk a little about relationships, and I tell her we're at the perfect age to be single and now is the time to explore and enjoy, which she agrees to. I can see her scrunching up her dress and I definitely understand the hints. I tell her we should grab a nightcap and that I'll mix us some drinks. She enthusiastically agrees and we walk to my place. I give her a tour, and increase the touch more. I let her mix the drinks, and give her instruction (dominant again). I lead her to my room and we sit on my bed and drink. I show her my different props in my room, and eventually kiss her.

This is where I start screwing up. I am too timid while escalating, and as a result it's incongruent with my vibe from earlier. In reality I should have become more animalistic and started getting more hot and heavy. Instead I slowed it down and tried pausing in between moments (like taking off her dress, taking off her bra), and talked. I should have just kept going and had her touching me.

I definitely need to learn escalation better.

She called me sexy, but also sweet.

During escalation, she asked me what I thought was going to happen. I told her that we were just having fun, and that there was no pressure as long as she was comfortable.

Besides that, I'm happy I pulled her home, and I'll try to see her again this weekend.
 
Last edited:

Kvothe

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
896
Sadly no, she got cold to me and stopped replying to my messages... It happens, I think my behavior was off during escalation, which is a mistake I won’t do again lol
 

Monsieur PUSSYMAGNET

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 8, 2018
Messages
22
Haha, unlucky man...

Maybe the fact that you panicked a bit, made her think that you were uncomfortable because there was something wrong you felt about that current situation. Maybe you're still trying to get over that conditioning of sex is bad or lust is bad, which gives you a rush of adrenaline because you're subconsciously programmed to react negatively to that situation.

Or maybe you just haven't been in that situation enough times to keep your cool. Sounds like you really liked this girl so it was only natural that you were nervous. You're game sounds decent so I'm sure you'll soon get comfortable in that stage.


Just btw...to anybody else reading this...that last part is an interesting case study in the way the mind operates in adrenaline fuelled situations in seduction. What do you guys think?
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
5,551
Kvothe,

Looks like this was an FR++ (brought her home, but didn't get the lay or receive oral), so I switched the tag.

Anyway, unfortunate it fizzled out after the botched escalation.

One thing that works sometimes with these is to wait a while (3-4 weeks) then invite the girl to a fun party or a fun night out.

It might be "Hey, a bunch of people are going to XYZ bar, you should come too, I'll get your name on the list" and see if she'll join.

She's unsure about you after it didn't work out, but if you can get her out with people and she sees you socializing, and perhaps flirting a little, you can put her right back in that state again, where she says "Oh yeah, I remember why I liked him", and then she feels immediately very comfortable with you again (after all, she's darn near been intimate with you).

It can be an easy path toward sealing the deal at that point, if you get her out for that.

If she declines the night out with friends, you can "ball in her court" her at that point: "Okay. Well, when your schedule clears up and you want to meet, shoot me a text. I'd love to see you again. Ciao for now."

Then forget about her.

Let her percolate on it a bit.

Sometimes you'll hear back, a few weeks down the line.

Chase
 
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