tuesday was a public holiday, i hung out with a buddy, we ate some space-cakes in the afternoon, hung out in the sunshine. at night he was invited to his girl's party and so invited me. i kind of feel like i would be a huge value drain so i was reluctant to go. and i expected a lot of loose workmates there as she and i are acquainted already, so that also put me off - i'm far more at ease in a room full of people who don't know me. i forced myself anyway, or rather, i overcame those doubts and changed my mindset, decided it would be fun.
it was alright. it was a load of foreign chicks. some dudes, about 15 - 20 people. nice vibe there. i'm not hanging on my buddy, which is something i pay attention to. i think i do it sometimes, maybe no-one notices. i think i hang on too tight, follow a little too much. like if he's in the kitchen, i'm in the kitchen. then he's on the balcony so a minute late i'm on the balcony.
anyway, i wouldn't say i was the life and soul of the party, but i'm holding my own with some cool guys. and i'm being very smooth and charming, i believe. also managed not to talk about work, or talk about my favourite hobby, for most of the night.
i was looking for an exit many times during the night, though. i do that a lot, eg i'm outside smoking a cigarette thinking i gots my keys, i wouldn't have to go back inside, i could just take off, make an early exit.
anyway i stuck around, and suddenly it's about 2am! dunno how that happened but one girl is leftover after couples have drifted off together. i know two of the couples there but i didn't know who else was with who.
so i'm chatting to this girl, she's sitting on the other corner of the sofa, dressed in revealing club style gear. short shorts and a top exposes a lot of her body.i'm talking real soft and quiet. my voice is great, an excellent tool in my box.
this is the first time i've really spoken to her. she seems super eager actually. i told her to come sit by me. we sat and talked for quite a while, i think. i'm talking really low and we are having a private conversation although there's at least 3 other people in the room. she asked my age and i didn't fuck around with any lines i just told her straight "42". she was surprised, most people are, but was she ....disappointed? disheartened? i don' t know. she was 24
one of the first things we talked about (besides pleasantries) was i told her i could see through her. like, i could see levels to her. i could see how she projects this one persona but really she was a vulnerable child. other stuff like this. i could see it. it was so clear. i often waste no time getting to the deep dive. i think this is a problem. like i shoot my bolt too soon. she loved it, though. i believe.
i "negged" her about a pimple on her nose. i regret this. she's a decent looking girl but not astounding, sure she's self conscious enough.
i didn't mean to do it. just noticed it when she turned and i saw her profile. it was obvious i noticed and she mentioned it. i should have agreed and amplified to smooth it over but instead i just tried something like "it is what it is". ripping her about the volcano on her nose would have been better. nm
now this party is wrapping up, so we get our shoes on and me and buddy go to smoke one last cig just outside the door. girl comes out, of course. it's implicit that we are leaving together. there's some vague talk about taking her to find a taxi. i finish my smoke say goodbye to whoever is there, look at girl and say "shall we put this baby to bed?"
i call the elevator as she comes over and down we go. lots of smooth chitchat with a sexy vibe which, i can not recall! she just follows as i find my bike, unlock it, get on, motion her to get on, and ride away.
it's implicit that she's coming back to my place. i just set off that way talking absolute shit and having a great time. she's having a great time too. she's very comfortable on the back of my bike. sit's nice and snug with her legs around my ass. i should have said a line about where to hold the bike - "hold it here (on the grabrail) here (around my waste) but not here (pushes her hand closer to my crotch)" and then scold her like "this bad. NO!" with like a wagging finger. i hope you understand. chase framing. but i didn't do that.
i should have at least put my hand on her leg. mistakes.
so i mention that i've not got anything to drink at home. two mistakes here - i always keep a bottle of sparkling wine at home, but this evening i gave it as a housewarming gift. and, b) i have some alcopop stuff i forgot about.
so i stop at the store near my home. i grab some soju. i ask her "do you want the green one or the yellow one". i grab some beer and pay and leave. back on my bike and then home. i park my bike and she asks where we are (i think) i tell her, "my place is just there." and motion toward it.
seconds later she says "ok so where do i get a taxi?" i tell her to come to mine and chill out but she's not having it. "you don't wanna come and chill out? huh! i was having a great time i thought you were too?" that was kind of my attitude. like surprised at the outcome of what i'd thought was a sure thing. like a shrug and a quizzical look on my face and then "oh well" and a shrug of the shoulders. that kind of vibe (actual events not depicted). i don't push too hard, maybe i could have. but i should have seeded it better on the ride and i should have at least complimented her looks. i don't think i did any chase-framing or anything like that.
sigh
so i put her in a taxi, some talk about keeping in touch, "i'll get your wechat from buddy" she says.
following day there's a group to share photos and you can add people from the group, so i added her today. seemed quite eager at first. just minor chit chat really, but responding and asking about me. then ... silence
it was alright. it was a load of foreign chicks. some dudes, about 15 - 20 people. nice vibe there. i'm not hanging on my buddy, which is something i pay attention to. i think i do it sometimes, maybe no-one notices. i think i hang on too tight, follow a little too much. like if he's in the kitchen, i'm in the kitchen. then he's on the balcony so a minute late i'm on the balcony.
anyway, i wouldn't say i was the life and soul of the party, but i'm holding my own with some cool guys. and i'm being very smooth and charming, i believe. also managed not to talk about work, or talk about my favourite hobby, for most of the night.
i was looking for an exit many times during the night, though. i do that a lot, eg i'm outside smoking a cigarette thinking i gots my keys, i wouldn't have to go back inside, i could just take off, make an early exit.
anyway i stuck around, and suddenly it's about 2am! dunno how that happened but one girl is leftover after couples have drifted off together. i know two of the couples there but i didn't know who else was with who.
so i'm chatting to this girl, she's sitting on the other corner of the sofa, dressed in revealing club style gear. short shorts and a top exposes a lot of her body.i'm talking real soft and quiet. my voice is great, an excellent tool in my box.
this is the first time i've really spoken to her. she seems super eager actually. i told her to come sit by me. we sat and talked for quite a while, i think. i'm talking really low and we are having a private conversation although there's at least 3 other people in the room. she asked my age and i didn't fuck around with any lines i just told her straight "42". she was surprised, most people are, but was she ....disappointed? disheartened? i don' t know. she was 24
one of the first things we talked about (besides pleasantries) was i told her i could see through her. like, i could see levels to her. i could see how she projects this one persona but really she was a vulnerable child. other stuff like this. i could see it. it was so clear. i often waste no time getting to the deep dive. i think this is a problem. like i shoot my bolt too soon. she loved it, though. i believe.
i "negged" her about a pimple on her nose. i regret this. she's a decent looking girl but not astounding, sure she's self conscious enough.
i didn't mean to do it. just noticed it when she turned and i saw her profile. it was obvious i noticed and she mentioned it. i should have agreed and amplified to smooth it over but instead i just tried something like "it is what it is". ripping her about the volcano on her nose would have been better. nm
now this party is wrapping up, so we get our shoes on and me and buddy go to smoke one last cig just outside the door. girl comes out, of course. it's implicit that we are leaving together. there's some vague talk about taking her to find a taxi. i finish my smoke say goodbye to whoever is there, look at girl and say "shall we put this baby to bed?"
i call the elevator as she comes over and down we go. lots of smooth chitchat with a sexy vibe which, i can not recall! she just follows as i find my bike, unlock it, get on, motion her to get on, and ride away.
it's implicit that she's coming back to my place. i just set off that way talking absolute shit and having a great time. she's having a great time too. she's very comfortable on the back of my bike. sit's nice and snug with her legs around my ass. i should have said a line about where to hold the bike - "hold it here (on the grabrail) here (around my waste) but not here (pushes her hand closer to my crotch)" and then scold her like "this bad. NO!" with like a wagging finger. i hope you understand. chase framing. but i didn't do that.
i should have at least put my hand on her leg. mistakes.
so i mention that i've not got anything to drink at home. two mistakes here - i always keep a bottle of sparkling wine at home, but this evening i gave it as a housewarming gift. and, b) i have some alcopop stuff i forgot about.
so i stop at the store near my home. i grab some soju. i ask her "do you want the green one or the yellow one". i grab some beer and pay and leave. back on my bike and then home. i park my bike and she asks where we are (i think) i tell her, "my place is just there." and motion toward it.
seconds later she says "ok so where do i get a taxi?" i tell her to come to mine and chill out but she's not having it. "you don't wanna come and chill out? huh! i was having a great time i thought you were too?" that was kind of my attitude. like surprised at the outcome of what i'd thought was a sure thing. like a shrug and a quizzical look on my face and then "oh well" and a shrug of the shoulders. that kind of vibe (actual events not depicted). i don't push too hard, maybe i could have. but i should have seeded it better on the ride and i should have at least complimented her looks. i don't think i did any chase-framing or anything like that.
sigh
so i put her in a taxi, some talk about keeping in touch, "i'll get your wechat from buddy" she says.
following day there's a group to share photos and you can add people from the group, so i added her today. seemed quite eager at first. just minor chit chat really, but responding and asking about me. then ... silence
