Casual/FWB At what point do you tell a fuck buddy your last name? I had an interesting experience with sex resistance.

[KJ Francis]

I often get called mysterious by girls. Sometimes they wonder if I'm married.

There's a girl from my recent LR that I went to pick up for first date drinks, asked to use the bathroom, and fucked after an hour chatting in her living room. I had a second meet at her place with good sex again.

This week, our schedules didn't align, save for a short window after work. So I had her meet me at a parking garage. The idea was to "take her in the elevator" and catch up on the roof while checking out the view. She understood and showed up in a long dress without panties underneath.

The elevator ended up being broken so I took her to a nearby one that had cameras fucking everywhere. We made out a bit on the roof and then went to get a slice of pizza. We took it back to the roof, then I found out she had told her friends and coworkers about me. Apparently she had been told to ask me my last name. I'm not sure if they got the story of our first date, but it sounds like a mix of anti-slut pressure and basic female prerogative to move toward commitment. She definitely likes my company and cuddling in addition to fucking. It could also be a comfort thing since she knows almost nothing about me.

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Ok, so I told her no just cause I'm difficult like that. And it was obvious her friends want to creep me on the internet (good luck). It then became a playful thing with her trying to get it out of me nonstop. So of course I'm not going to submit.

We go to throw out the pizza box and unexpectedly find a spot without camera coverage. We make out passionately. I take her tits totally out, and discover she's not wearing panties. I turn her around against the wall and finger her from behind while kissing on her neck, etc. and take out a condom. Then she says she won't fuck me without knowing my last name. Maybe it's ASD since her friends made me feel like a stranger to her. It kind of broke the bubble of the comfort I'd built at her place through deep diving and the novelty of the experience.

I can kind of empathize with her here, but I didn't cave since it felt weird to do so. Was there a way I could have handled it better to get the lay? I told her no and drove her to her car five minutes away. It felt natural and all good feelings since we both had time limits anyways. I also think she took the opportunity to test how needy I am for sex (which was zero), since she had no resistance with the first two lays.

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So on the drive I told her I have no problem telling her (essentially true), but I'm not going to tell her today as some transactional trade for sex. She left happy and expressed still having a lot of fun. It was still a hot time. She asked if I still wanted to see her again and was relieved I said yes.

If anyone has any insights into this whole dynamic, I'd really appreciate hearing it.

 

[Conquistador]

Probably it’s higher-brain (logical) lack of trust.

I agree that complying transactionally is bad. Since she broke the bubble already, why not shift into logic mode and ask her why she wants to know this? Sometimes an open conversation can help recreate a bubble — just don’t expect post-coital levels of honesty.

Another thing: either she was egregiously indiscreet, or she’s thinking about a serious relationship and is a bit too open with her friends at this stage. So while you’re on it, ask her why she’s blabbing to her friends about something that’s supposed to be personal and private and shared between two people.

I do think you need to make it clear that you’re not married, but not in a way that complies with drama. Ideally you’d frame it in a sexy way, since of course women love mystery.

But in the end, she needs to be feeling comfortable with her FWB, and you should give her comfort. Just not in a way that looks weak or gives her too much power.

 

[KJ Francis]

Hey, thanks! Yeah I think sometimes I overthink things when it’s really just a normal thing to not want to be total strangers as something develops. However, maybe I need to do a better job at setting a stricter casual frame. Girls I’ve seen just for sex before have never cared about knowing my last name. Some never knew my first name lol. But this girl seems to be legitimately into me.

 

[Skills]

I often get called mysterious by girls. Sometimes they wonder if I'm married.

There's a girl from my recent LR that I went to pick up for first date drinks, asked to use the bathroom, and fucked after an hour chatting in her living room. I had a second meet at her place with good sex again.

This week, our schedules didn't align, save for a short window after work. So I had her meet me at a parking garage. The idea was to "take her in the elevator" and catch up on the roof while checking out the view. She understood and showed up in a long dress without panties underneath.

The elevator ended up being broken so I took her to a nearby one that had cameras fucking everywhere. We made out a bit on the roof and then went to get a slice of pizza. We took it back to the roof, then I found out she had told her friends and coworkers about me. Apparently she had been told to ask me my last name. I'm not sure if they got the story of our first date, but it sounds like a mix of anti-slut pressure and basic female prerogative to move toward commitment. She definitely likes my company and cuddling in addition to fucking. It could also be a comfort thing since she knows almost nothing about me.

----------

Ok, so I told her no just cause I'm difficult like that. And it was obvious her friends want to creep me on the internet (good luck). It then became a playful thing with her trying to get it out of me nonstop. So of course I'm not going to submit.

We go to throw out the pizza box and unexpectedly find a spot without camera coverage. We make out passionately. I take her tits totally out, and discover she's not wearing panties. I turn her around against the wall and finger her from behind while kissing on her neck, etc. and take out a condom. Then she says she won't fuck me without knowing my last name. Maybe it's ASD since her friends made me feel like a stranger to her. It kind of broke the bubble of the comfort I'd built at her place through deep diving and the novelty of the experience.

I can kind of empathize with her here, but I didn't cave since it felt weird to do so. Was there a way I could have handled it better to get the lay? I told her no and drove her to her car five minutes away. It felt natural and all good feelings since we both had time limits anyways. I also think she took the opportunity to test how needy I am for sex (which was zero), since she had no resistance with the first two lays.

----------

So on the drive I told her I have no problem telling her (essentially true), but I'm not going to tell her today as some transactional trade for sex. She left happy and expressed still having a lot of fun. It was still a hot time. She asked if I still wanted to see her again and was relieved I said yes.

If anyone has any insights into this whole dynamic, I'd really appreciate hearing it.

Though you got corner into a i will give you sex if you are a good boy and take out the garbage type of dynamic that unfortunately got you corner.....You had not choice but to take that measure in that context it was right, cause if you give your last name at that point then sex bad precedent...

Ok, so I told her no just cause I'm difficult like that. And it was obvious her friends want to creep me on the internet (good luck). It then became a playful thing with her trying to get it out of me nonstop. So of course I'm not going to submit.

^ the i am just difficult like that horrible, the other stuff decent, but

you should have work and reframe the objection away from that, so the frames: - you don't mind her knowing your last name, and you actually want her to have it, but unfortunately is tight to your social media and at this point you don't want her friends creeping on you....

- that she is not just another piece of ass, that you like her and you are not trying to fuck and dump but you want to get to no her and even her friends and family if ever get to know her and she is cool but you don't want to settle with just anybody and you want to date and if you get to know her and she is the right girl she may even have your last name one day.... (sarcasticly of course)...

^ but again that all should have been done and taken care of before sex point, at sex point, sex for last name transaction too late...

- i also have a fake name and last name once they are main, they get to know my real name and last name all fuck buddies get: fake everything:

-fake google voice, fake social media, fake facebook.... Just easier for me...

 

[Spyce D]

- i also have a fake name and last name once they are main, they get to know my real name and last name all fuck buddies get: fake everything:

-fake google voice, fake social media, fake facebook.... Just easier for me...

Well , even I have decided to use a fake name , now .

So , yeah it has benefits atleast in Daygame and nightgame scenarios .

But , What about phone number ? Should I use a different number specifically for seduction ?

I can't use Google voice because nobody use it here . It's not even on playstore , here . Lol.

 

[mist]

I can't use Google voice because nobody use it here . It's not even on playstore , here . Lol.

whatsapp bro bro. easy to make a fake...actually pissed my last boss off with how untraceable I am

also a burner phone is an option always

 

[Spyce D]

whatsapp bro bro. easy to make a fake...actually pissed my last boss off with how untraceable I am

also a burner phone is an option always

Pming you about this.

 

[KJ Francis]

Thanks @Skills - helpful stuff

I should clarify I didn’t say the difficult like that phrase to her. That was just my commentary for you guys. I generally don’t respond well to commands and demands for compliance even from parents and in the workplace.

She didn’t make a good case for why she wanted it. It was from her friend pressure for sure but she latched on to their idea.

I did end up telling her. She sent a gif of Britney Spears in pigtails at the beginning of the hit me baby video start when she’s waiting for the bell to ring, and said soooo are you going to tell me. So I made her promise to wear pigtails for me next time. She ended up asking me to come over so it went well.

I know Chase deep dives cause her connection is built on how well she feels you know her, not the other way around. And I have for sure laid girls with them knowing basically nothing about me. But I guess as things progress past a few nights, I can’t be 100% mysterious. Maybe I’ll give her 1% each time.

Anyways, I don’t want a relationship with this girl, even an mLTR… I like her personality and do enjoy some level of conversation with her. So it’s slightly more investment than a fuck buddy I have where I pick her up and drop her off as fast as possible lol. But I’m expecting it to end in a few months.