Attainability - does the concept hold with friends ?

[nolimits]

Hey Guys,

I know chase recommends maximizing your value as a man almost to the point of having other people and women nervous while being around you.

He then says you should balance that value out with greater attainability.

the idea is that more often than not the problems you have with women are related to attainability and not to value.

So was wondering, does this work the same with men when friendship is the goal ?


Of course people can auto reject around you - you should never outshine the master , in Robert Greene s words.

but is the idea that women reject more over attainability than over value valid for men as well ?

Or in the case of men (friends , colleagues etc) it is more often than not a value problem ?

It depends on context but would be curious to know your thoughts on the topic.

 

[ulrich]

Yes. Attainability applies to all kind of relationships, friends included.

That being said, friendships are much simpler relationships than sexual relationships.
And, if dealing with guys, you normally don’t have to worry about not taking things at face value which makes it even easier.

One example, I used to have a group of friends from school who were cool but who are rather poor and come from humble families (sorry, I know I sound like a snob).
Some years ago they used to invite me to meet with them in downtown deadbeat bars and drink cheap beer.
It was fun but I could not hide that I didn’t like the place and that I felt unsafe for someone robbing me or robbing my car.
They could tell that I was always uncomfortable and eventually stopped inviting me.

Another example, I have a group of friends who use to gather together and do BBQs every month or so.
One time I was pushing my friends to do a BBQ for a couple of weeks but a particular friend was busy and kept saying that we should wait.
A weekend after, I had to travel because of work and this friend pushed everybody to have the BBQ on that particular date I wasn’t in town.
I got so pissed that he did so, that I stopped talking to him until a third friend convinced me that it wasn’t personal and my friend was genuinely very busy every weekend except that one.

Bottomline: Attainability is a wether or not a person feels that he/she can have the relationship he/she wants with you. It applies to all kind of relationships.