- Joined
- May 19, 2023
- Messages
- 68
This is a bit long, so thanks in advance to those who'll take the time to read it. Never had something like this happening before.
Around 3 months ago I met this girl at a social gathering near the river organized by a friend of mine. There were a bunch of people I never met before, including two girls who were particularly cute. Needless to say, I switched attention between the two to create some kind of competition between the two of them. At one point, we were playing board games and I was sitting between the two, fully expressing my naturally outgoing side. Talk to one girl, then with the group, then with the other girl. After 2-3 hours, people started leaving. When the majority had left, I said: I am getting hungry, who wants to grab a pizza slice with me? One of the two girls was very eager (which I saw as a ioi). At the pizza place it was just the two of us. I was being hypersocial and teasing rather than masculine and grounded. It's something that happens often to me when I meet girls through warm approach (social circle) rather than cold approach. We chatted for a hour about dating and fun experiences. I suggested we get a drink. She agrees. As the bar is closed and we're near her place I think: "phuck it, I am going for the pull already". I ask her "so why don't we have a few beers at your place?". Her answer: "No, I am not inviting you over, my place is a mess". I don't really insist and we end up going to a bar that's two metro stations away. At this bar, I try to make it more sexual by talking a lot about sex and also make references to various parts of her body that I like. At one point I even kinda lay on the sofa (almost putting my head on her laps) and look up toward her and tell her that her b00bs look even nicer from there. I don't go for the kiss. For some reason it seemed off after the failed pull attempt but I may be mistaken.
Around 5 days go by. I invite her to have a drink and she says that she way busy and adds "another time
". I am thinking: "ok, I f---up with this one". However, the next day, she invites me clubbing with her (girl)friend. My strong temptation is to say no. I am thinking: this is not a date, I'll be too deep into the friendzone if I do this. However, at this point it seemed like getting a date was not on the table, so I say to myself: "I'll try this one time". We're in the club. Initially it's the 3 of us on the dancefloor. I make a move that I regret: I leaned over and talk to a stranger guy and girl. This stranger girl shows quite a bit of interest towards me but I avoid talking too much with her. Maybe it was this event, maybe not, but here's what happens next: my target girl leaves me with her friend and goes around the club by herself, talking with different guys. Her friend is showing light interest towards me but I don't really like her and I am just friendly to her. My target girl comes back to check on us from time to time. At one point she is very warm to me, we dance a bit, but then she disappears again. The friend finally finds a guy who hits on her and she starts talking to him. I go around, I see my target girl is talking with another guy on the sofa, so I find this New Zealand chick to talk to. After a while, I see my target girl is sitting alone. I sit close to her and she says: "it was nice seeing you 2nite". I caress her cheek with my finger for 2 seconds but she pulls her head away, as if she's trying to avoid physical contact. Then she tells me that another guy is sitting there and he just went to the bathroom to fill her water bottle. I say this as a massive indicator of non-interest and I say: "by the way, some friends are at another place, so I am gonna check on them". At this point, I think it's completely over with this girl- The next week she contacts me to meet her for a logistical favor (a typical friendzone request, right?). I say I'm busy and stop contacting her. At this point, we're in mid October and I have only seen her only twice.
Let's move the clock forward in time. Starting from the end of November, she starts liking most of my Instagram stories. Comes the end December she starts commenting on my Instagram stories. Everytime she comments I wait a bit and then I comment in a kinda flirty but also totally non-needy way. When I get too flirty she stops the conversation but then texts me on the next story.
This happens 3 times.
Two days ago she just texts me directly and says that she will organize a party in February and tells me to book the date on the calendar (I think: here we go, another friendzoning attempt). I tell her I may stop by but probably I'll be travelling. She starts asking about my travel plans. I get flirty again. I tell her she owes me a drink for something that happened before (it was a joke obviously). Her answer: I can do that. I say: ok, then how about you buy my drink next week? She says next week she's free and even makes me pick the day as I am the one acting like I am busy. So basically next Tuesday I am going to see this girl for the third time after 3 months we haven't seen each other.
I have a few questions and I'd like to know what you guys think:
1) How interested do you think she was initially and where do you think I f**ked up the most on those first two days I met her?
2) Was she actually trying to friendzone me or was she punishing certain player / womanizer behaviors I was having?
3) Do you think my withdrawing for months after two times meeting her was an effective frameholding strategy and she's now gonna see this as a date and not some buddies hanging out? Or is this too optmistic and I have to approach the meeting as if she sees me as some buddy and try to switch it toward a date mode?
4) I am thinking of starting this date or meet with a very different attitude from the hypersocial (though interested) vibe. More like going in masculine, calm, and very man-to-woman but also not giving her too many compliments, getting her to qualify herself to build attraction while creating comfort and letting her talk about herself and then lead her toward my place. It's just an idea. How would you guys behave in such a scenario?
P.S. her body is a 9/10... her face a 7. So overall I'd say she's a solid 8 or I wouldn't even be bothering meeting this chick again.
Around 3 months ago I met this girl at a social gathering near the river organized by a friend of mine. There were a bunch of people I never met before, including two girls who were particularly cute. Needless to say, I switched attention between the two to create some kind of competition between the two of them. At one point, we were playing board games and I was sitting between the two, fully expressing my naturally outgoing side. Talk to one girl, then with the group, then with the other girl. After 2-3 hours, people started leaving. When the majority had left, I said: I am getting hungry, who wants to grab a pizza slice with me? One of the two girls was very eager (which I saw as a ioi). At the pizza place it was just the two of us. I was being hypersocial and teasing rather than masculine and grounded. It's something that happens often to me when I meet girls through warm approach (social circle) rather than cold approach. We chatted for a hour about dating and fun experiences. I suggested we get a drink. She agrees. As the bar is closed and we're near her place I think: "phuck it, I am going for the pull already". I ask her "so why don't we have a few beers at your place?". Her answer: "No, I am not inviting you over, my place is a mess". I don't really insist and we end up going to a bar that's two metro stations away. At this bar, I try to make it more sexual by talking a lot about sex and also make references to various parts of her body that I like. At one point I even kinda lay on the sofa (almost putting my head on her laps) and look up toward her and tell her that her b00bs look even nicer from there. I don't go for the kiss. For some reason it seemed off after the failed pull attempt but I may be mistaken.
Around 5 days go by. I invite her to have a drink and she says that she way busy and adds "another time
". I am thinking: "ok, I f---up with this one". However, the next day, she invites me clubbing with her (girl)friend. My strong temptation is to say no. I am thinking: this is not a date, I'll be too deep into the friendzone if I do this. However, at this point it seemed like getting a date was not on the table, so I say to myself: "I'll try this one time". We're in the club. Initially it's the 3 of us on the dancefloor. I make a move that I regret: I leaned over and talk to a stranger guy and girl. This stranger girl shows quite a bit of interest towards me but I avoid talking too much with her. Maybe it was this event, maybe not, but here's what happens next: my target girl leaves me with her friend and goes around the club by herself, talking with different guys. Her friend is showing light interest towards me but I don't really like her and I am just friendly to her. My target girl comes back to check on us from time to time. At one point she is very warm to me, we dance a bit, but then she disappears again. The friend finally finds a guy who hits on her and she starts talking to him. I go around, I see my target girl is talking with another guy on the sofa, so I find this New Zealand chick to talk to. After a while, I see my target girl is sitting alone. I sit close to her and she says: "it was nice seeing you 2nite". I caress her cheek with my finger for 2 seconds but she pulls her head away, as if she's trying to avoid physical contact. Then she tells me that another guy is sitting there and he just went to the bathroom to fill her water bottle. I say this as a massive indicator of non-interest and I say: "by the way, some friends are at another place, so I am gonna check on them". At this point, I think it's completely over with this girl- The next week she contacts me to meet her for a logistical favor (a typical friendzone request, right?). I say I'm busy and stop contacting her. At this point, we're in mid October and I have only seen her only twice.Let's move the clock forward in time. Starting from the end of November, she starts liking most of my Instagram stories. Comes the end December she starts commenting on my Instagram stories. Everytime she comments I wait a bit and then I comment in a kinda flirty but also totally non-needy way. When I get too flirty she stops the conversation but then texts me on the next story.
This happens 3 times.
Two days ago she just texts me directly and says that she will organize a party in February and tells me to book the date on the calendar (I think: here we go, another friendzoning attempt). I tell her I may stop by but probably I'll be travelling. She starts asking about my travel plans. I get flirty again. I tell her she owes me a drink for something that happened before (it was a joke obviously). Her answer: I can do that. I say: ok, then how about you buy my drink next week? She says next week she's free and even makes me pick the day as I am the one acting like I am busy. So basically next Tuesday I am going to see this girl for the third time after 3 months we haven't seen each other.
I have a few questions and I'd like to know what you guys think:
1) How interested do you think she was initially and where do you think I f**ked up the most on those first two days I met her?
2) Was she actually trying to friendzone me or was she punishing certain player / womanizer behaviors I was having?
3) Do you think my withdrawing for months after two times meeting her was an effective frameholding strategy and she's now gonna see this as a date and not some buddies hanging out? Or is this too optmistic and I have to approach the meeting as if she sees me as some buddy and try to switch it toward a date mode?
4) I am thinking of starting this date or meet with a very different attitude from the hypersocial (though interested) vibe. More like going in masculine, calm, and very man-to-woman but also not giving her too many compliments, getting her to qualify herself to build attraction while creating comfort and letting her talk about herself and then lead her toward my place. It's just an idea. How would you guys behave in such a scenario?
P.S. her body is a 9/10... her face a 7. So overall I'd say she's a solid 8 or I wouldn't even be bothering meeting this chick again.
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