Going back to the original post, and I appreciate I am being a bit "stereotypical", Girls make decisions based mainly around their emotional position at the time and can often change that decision later. Men tend to make decisions based on "logic" and stick with it. That's not to say that either sex is totally based on one or other (logic or emotion) but decisions need to be seen as though they are sat on a set of balancing scales with logic on one side and emotional value on the other.
I suspect I am on the spectrum, on the more mild end, although I would probably sit in the high function area. Like the OP I tend to be attracted to girls that sit on the spectrum, not deliberately, just because I get them and connect with then.
Not all women have been diagnosed either as they are often missed at school age. Boys tend to result in poor grades and/or bad behavior, girls modify their behavior and become very outcome focused and because they are logical they can perform exceedingly well academically hence why the above suggestions that you'll find girls in fantasy type books, programmers, doctors, engineers and other typically "geek" type environments.
A female friend of mine was recently diagnosed with ADHT at the age of 40 although I'd suspected she was on the spectrum for years. With another girl I was chatting to I started to recognize signs from what she described about herself and I asked if she'd ever been assessed - turns out she was diagnosed 6 years ago at the age of 28. These are both girls I have a really good connection with.
So although you may want to go to places these types of women hang out, it's more important to recognise the personality traits that they show so you can recognise them wherever you see them:
-They tent to talk quite quickly as they think quickly. They will often be trying to answer a question before the "average" person has finished asking it. Because they have a quick brain the will hear the first part of the question, work out the rest of the question and be wanting to get their answer out before you have finished asking. This makes for a very fast "back and forward" in a conversation. People not on the spectrum will often end up just being observers of their conversation as it's quite fast.
-The responses they give are usually based on logic and a deeper thought than most, if they don't know they won't "blagg" their way through they will admit they don't know, or more likely ask an insightful question back.
-They will take longer doing tasks, they get side tracked onto other activities easily as they can't balance what is important now and what can wait until later. Similarly decisions can be difficult and need careful consideration and they can't be rushed. Rushing them will put excess pressure on them which results in procrastination and it takes them even longer to decide.
-Activities they enjoy will need knowledge and skill based on learning and practice and they will often appear to excel but this is primaily due to the amount of time spent practicing and developing the skill.
-They enjoy a deep connection with other people - this may be family, friends or a boyfriend. This can be really helpful if you want to pull her but usually takes longer to build the connection and results in you being "boyfriend" material. If you want a fast lay then these girls are probably not for you unless you can plan to bounce from location to location multiple times in a date and are good at setting a logical frame that says if there is a good connection a casual lay is fine.
-They typically don't over dress or wear lots of make up or have fancy hair styles. They usually make themselves look "nice" but they don't try to compete with others, they do just enough to fit in. They think everyone else see them as they see others which is usually based on the depth of conversation and not on how good the visible presentation is. Their idea of a "good vibe" is about depth/detail and less about humor, that's not to say they don't have or like humor, but their real connection is depth.
-They suffer sensory overload which can result in depression, breakdown, etc. Most have leaned the warning signs and know they need to take action to prevent this. Typically they will go out and at a given point decide they are leaving even if the party is still in full swing. Similarly they withdraw from parts of life so they will go to work but won't go out in the evening, or they end up off work with "stress" but it's actually linked to their sensory overload in the work - too much expected by their employer. This is worth remembering when planning dates, look for 1-2-1 type conversational points and meeting, shows or cinema as they can cope with this. Festivals, clubbing and similar places with masses for long periods can be difficult. However, using the "I've had enough, time to leave" reflex from her can be helpful when it's time to pull by taking her somewhere quieter with just the 2 of you.
A lot of these tie up with
@Lover description of them. Out of the girls I know have this I've met them at partner dancing nights, singles holidays and speed dating. They are out in bars and clubs but they won't recognise social signals of eye contact or a smile and won't respond similarly which is usually your invitation as a man to go say hello. They will be too busy in their social group to notice.
People on the spectrum are very predictable.
They tend to work in science or engineering… avoid crowds… are interested in technology and modern fantasy…. etc…
Whilst I would agree these types of people are "predictable" because their decisions are based more on the logical than the emotional, and they tend to be drawn to particular jobs that their personality trait works well with, they are out at the same places we all go but unfortunately they don't wear signs.