Auto-pilot and feeling too smooth

[Tkr]

Hey everybody,

I've been doing pretty well recently but I keep having this nagging sense that something is wrong. I've been actively reading this site and casually working on my skills for a year and a half now, and I think I've finally reached that point where my approaches and phone follow-up are effortless. As long as I can say hello, everything else costs 0 mental effort and even if we only talk for 2 minutes I can more often than not leave with her # and an agreement for a date.

Every time this happens I think to myself, "god damn, that was way too smooth". I don't mean to brag, but I know its very important to keep your ego in check as you progress to new heights. Now my concern is that I'm not coming across as genuine enough. I feel like too much of a player, and that girls can tell.

The last girl I set up a date with was totally caught off guard by how I asked for her number and even asked to make sure she heard me right. I just told her that I tend to do it really casual, and that yes, I am asking for her #. To my surprise, things went fairly well with her afterwords.

Today I met a girl waiting for the same elevator and managed to grab her # despite the flight being no more than 30 seconds tops. I will send her an icebreaker now and post an update on how that one goes, but I can't escape this nagging feeling that I don't truly make a girl feel special before I get her number, and that she probably assumes that I just do this with every girl I meet. Maybe it's just projection on my part?

My question is, is this a real topic that I need to address? Or does it just mean that I'm doing everything right and simply need to keep swinging. I'm not going to stop regardless, but now that I've recognized where I'm at right now, I feel the need to make sure that I am in fact on the right track. I don't have any real-life mentors or role-models, so I was hoping that somebody here could give some pointers or assurance.

Very much appreciated,
- TR

 

[Franco]

Tkr,

I guess the real question here is, are you getting dates from these number closes? If you are, then I don't see the necessity of changing anything. If you aren't, then you might need to analyze your approach.

If most of your number-closes are an average of 30 seconds, then I'd say that's on the very quick side. I generally only number-close girls that fast if there is no way I can talk to her for more than a minute. The problem with closing that fast is that you don't get to build up enough of an initial connection and enough pre-compliance to get her to invest in a date so quickly.

Now, sometimes these quick closes result in dates, but sometimes they don't. If you feel like you are able to get as many dates a week as you've been hoping to, then I don't see any reason to change your strategy. This seems like it would be most effective if you are making lots of approaches each week so that you can filter out plenty of the girls who give you their number but aren't interested in meeting up with you.

(EDIT: It reminds of the the shotgun approaching method)

- Franco

 

[Tkr]

Ok, so I'm just gonna ignore that awkward feeling whenever it creeps up. It just means I'm doing a good a job and need to remember that.

I generally only number-close girls that fast if there is no way I can talk to her for more than a minute. The problem with closing that fast is that you don't get to build up enough of an initial connection and enough pre-compliance to get her to invest in a date so quickly.

Yes, it was one of those situations where I had class and she had an appointment on opposite floors so 2min was really all we had. Maybe that's why I felt weird closing that fast, but I had to and I did, so I guess I did the right thing. I'm done with meeting cute girls and watching them leave because I didn't think I had enough time to grab their number, apparently that's just not true.

On a similar note, do you think it's better when she enters the number on your phone or when you put it down yourself? She asked for my phone to enter her #, but I almost always enter the number myself so I don't have any other data points on the reverse. I just know that every time a girl is the first to bring up the idea of swapping #s and takes out her phone, good things happen. I'm 3/4 on those, last one being totally my fault for screwing it up.

I'm going to go read the shotgun approach article now, but so far I think closing this fast simply screens in the girls that just want to **** you. I doubt this particular girl will even reply, but the ones that have were always pretty serious about getting it done. Perhaps she's ovulating and thinks I'm handsome as shit, who knows. All I can do now is hope that she is/does, and to keep meeting new girls.

Thanks for the reply Franco. I'm fairly obsessive about understanding every angle possible of the things I care about, and its truly a blessing to hear from and share with other like-minded folks here on GC.

 

[Teparus]

I definitely know what you're talking about, and the first time I noticed that I was asking girls out effortlessly and by default, and first starting to get some good results, it did feel kind of uncomfortable. I've gone through the cycle of being highly outgoing and more of a recluse a few times since then, and I can only conclude it's a good thing. It feels uncomfortable because it isn't part of your identity yet, and you don't consciously understand the unconscious state that your body is in. In other words, it's almost as though you're a sexually and romantically confident man for the first time...and that's not a common feeling.

 

[Franco]

Tkr,

On a similar note, do you think it's better when she enters the number on your phone or when you put it down yourself? She asked for my phone to enter her #, but I almost always enter the number myself so I don't have any other data points on the reverse. I just know that every time a girl is the first to bring up the idea of swapping #s and takes out her phone, good things happen. I'm 3/4 on those, last one being totally my fault for screwing it up.

It doesn't really matter who enters the number in your phone; what's more important is that you try to call her number right after you get it and say, "I'm calling your phone now so you can add my number." Ideally, you should be able to see her pull out her phone as well as see her receiving the phone call from you. That let's you know it's not a wrong number and that she's actually interested in hearing from you.

- Franco

 

[Tkr]

you don't consciously understand the unconscious state that your body is in

Yeah, this all makes perfect sense. It's crazy how much we struggle (or maybe just me) to understand ourselves so deeply when we simply don't have to. And now that I understand, I just feel kind of empty, I'm gonna review the devil-may-care article, think that's got some good insights on the drawbacks. Or maybe I just need some life motivation, been sleeping in too much (class after noon rocks). Whatever

The shot-gun approach article was pretty cool, definitely will implement that.

And the elevator girl never responded, so I'm going to need to refine my approach for those situations where you only have 1-2 minutes to chat. Now that I think back, every girl that ever actually did go out with me needed a solid 5 minutes to feel connected enough to pursue a date.

I think Chase had a piece on this where you tell her that unfortunately we only have a minute to talk, so you would like to call later to get to know her, because it would be sad to never speak again. blah blah, something like that. I tried to grab the gist of that by telling her I'd hate to leave this way, so lets exchange #s, but in the space of 1-2 minutes it comes of really forced, even if she complies instinctively.