Hey people. I had an interaction with a girl in my class. She was looking at me smiling for a couple times, amd i just thought 'man it's on, i'll open her the next time i see her' and the next time, she came and sit near me. I just said, hi it's Slinky, blablabla and we just talked a little bit. During the interaction i just gave a little too much information, because i'm not used to create intrigue. And she was shittesting me and i was playful and firm about it. She blew my attempts to deepdive. Anyway in breaktime, i wanted to get some investment and said sth like, 'hey gimme your notes' and i tried to tease her about how bad her writing is. She tried to explain herself to me haha. After that day, we occasionally had eye contact, but we never talked. I felt anxious because she's always surrounded by her friends. And she avoids eye contact and doesnt come near me. Is it a lost case? Should i pay my respects for this poor gal in the auto-rejection and move on, or should i try my chance with her? And how to do that?
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- Nov 20, 2012
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Great article to read on the matter of going in thinking you got her, https://www.girlschase.com/content/downp ... r-want-you
As for auto-rejection, I don't think that's quite the case. I would say that an emotional connection never formed between the two of you, because it feels like you just scraped the surface and make a little small talk with a small tease here and there.
You may have made her uneasy to deep dive by talking about yourself a little too much at the beginning. Now things are just a little awkward between the two of you because nothing really happened between the two of you. You interacted with her, but what came of it? Did either of you gain anything from the interaction? Do you need to interact again, only to have the same flat conversation appear with not much exchange of value?
I think you should focus on adding substance to your interactions, and be direct in your goals. If you want to get to know her, get to know her, and make sure that you're actively forming an emotional connection.
As for auto-rejection, I don't think that's quite the case. I would say that an emotional connection never formed between the two of you, because it feels like you just scraped the surface and make a little small talk with a small tease here and there.
You may have made her uneasy to deep dive by talking about yourself a little too much at the beginning. Now things are just a little awkward between the two of you because nothing really happened between the two of you. You interacted with her, but what came of it? Did either of you gain anything from the interaction? Do you need to interact again, only to have the same flat conversation appear with not much exchange of value?
I think you should focus on adding substance to your interactions, and be direct in your goals. If you want to get to know her, get to know her, and make sure that you're actively forming an emotional connection.
Thanks for the answer. Well, i didn't talk about myself too much. She asked something and i answered, and after i was like 'crap i shouldnt've given her this info this quickly' and tried to make it turn back to her. And she gave vague and slightly awkward answers to really easy-to-answer stuff, i think maybe she was excited at some level. So now i think she wants us to be interact. Thanks for bringing it to my eye 
And to be honest, i didn't quite get that article about downplaying interest. Maybe it basically says 'don't jump on her when she shows she's interested'. Anyone want to explain more or give examples?
And to be honest, i didn't quite get that article about downplaying interest. Maybe it basically says 'don't jump on her when she shows she's interested'. Anyone want to explain more or give examples?
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2012
- Messages
- 550
slinky71 said:
A lot of more inexperienced girls will overinvest in guys and show you a lot of interest. A lot of inexperienced guys see this and try to capitalize on things, but they only do it when she's showing these signs of interests. This is a red flag to people in general, because it makes it seem like you're only seeking that attention, rather than getting to know the person themselves.
For example,
Girl: Wow, I really like that necklace you have on.
Guy: Yeah, it's pretty amazing. (Throws her under the bus, makes it seem like she is overdisplaying interest)
Girl: Well, it's not that cool. Still doesn't hide that enormous forehead of yours. (She feels the need the pull after her push in order to avoid overinvesting)
This results in the type of back and forth that just doesn't get you anywhere. It's playful, but it's playful in a way that creates a you vs. her atmosphere. You want to be compatible with her and working together with her, not constantly jabbing at her.
On the other hand,
Girl: Wow, I really like that necklace you have on.
Guy: Thanks. So, how was that trip to Europe?
Girl: Oh it was amazing, blah blah blah, etc.
This is much better because you accept her compliment/indicator of interest with grace, and reward her by in turn asking her about something that she wants to talk about.
Side note,
Usually when girls aren't giving very much in their answers, it's because it's something that they aren't really jumping to talk about. It's like your parents grilling you about what you want to do with your life when you'd really just not care - you're going to give them some vague, weird answer because you don't feel like talking about that subject. But, if, on the other hand, they asked you about a passion of yours, such as your hobby, then you'd launch at the opportunity to talk about it. Look to pick topics that women want to talk about, and you'll never get them to shut up
.