Avoid "Falling Into" Relationships at All Costs

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
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Oct 9, 2012
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I've seen a lot of guys in my time fall into relationships with women they never intended to. Avoid this.

My personal philosophy is I never see a girl regularly that I wouldn't mind having in my life long term... like, long long term. Because you have no idea what's going to happen in the future.

If a guy's seeing a girl, and suddenly he gets really sick, or falls on very hard times... chances are he's now probably stuck with this girl. If he's seeing several girls this alleviates it somewhat, though few men I know who are seeing several girls are seeing even one that they REALLY like.

Seeing a girl over a long period of time also tends to make guys complacent... UNLESS they travel a lot. Eventually if a guy stays in one place, he stops going out and just relies on his cell phone's speed dial to get that girl over to his place. Or, she just starts coming over on her own, unannounced. And then, once he's no longer going out, and THIS girl's coming OVER... scarcity mentality begins to set in. Suddenly, this girl who wasn't all that great before is starting to look like someone he can't risk losing. And all because he let yourself get complacent.

Whatever your relationship patterns, make sure you're aware of these hazards, and DON'T let yourself get sucked into a relationship that isn't your ideal. There are tons of women out there, and you will find some pretty amazing ones that have damn near everything you want if you keep looking... but you have to keep looking, that's the thing.

Chase
 

ZacAdam

Cro-Magnon Man
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Nov 20, 2012
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Chase,

Thought you might have a hand on this.

I have a girl that i still hang out with but not so often. Apparently i would like to 'keep' her and i do see other girls. Mainly, she has help me during a difficult time in the past while we were friends, and we hangout sometimes about once a month to basically do what lovers do. I acknowledge that you maintain a philosophy that you don't see a girl regularly that you don't mind. i think i might be able to handle this one.

On the plus side, her character improves over the time i see her, i am really surprise also. and she knows it's casual too. i would say i am walking a dangerous line, but as long i keep dating other women to find my ideal, i think i'm okay. But personally i will help her if there's anything, because she has done so much for me. the last one she waited for me for two hours, LOLX! I'm a bad boy.

Give me your take, i am sure all of your ex's are also like little sisters.

it's a great feeling to have everyone happy even if relationship didn't turn out well.

Much looking forward to,
Zac
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
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Oct 9, 2012
Messages
3,294
Hey Zac,

ZacAdam said:
Chase,

Thought you might have a hand on this.

I have a girl that i still hang out with but not so often. Apparently i would like to 'keep' her and i do see other girls. Mainly, she has help me during a difficult time in the past while we were friends, and we hangout sometimes about once a month to basically do what lovers do. I acknowledge that you maintain a philosophy that you don't see a girl regularly that you don't mind. i think i might be able to handle this one.

On the plus side, her character improves over the time i see her, i am really surprise also. and she knows it's casual too. i would say i am walking a dangerous line, but as long i keep dating other women to find my ideal, i think i'm okay. But personally i will help her if there's anything, because she has done so much for me. the last one she waited for me for two hours, LOLX! I'm a bad boy.

Give me your take, i am sure all of your ex's are also like little sisters.

it's a great feeling to have everyone happy even if relationship didn't turn out well.

Much looking forward to,
Zac
So long as you keep dating other women you're probably fine, and so long as both of you understand that this is something that can be called off at any time sooner or later by either party and you're both fine with it, you won't have any problems. I would advise you to inspect your emotions and see if there's some sense of, "Well, no matter what happens with these other girls, it's fine because she's still there," going on... if there is, try not to let it get in the way of your dating higher quality women.

If you're only seeing her once a month, I doubt it interferes with you much - you're almost certainly fine, so long as it isn't taking up much of your mental focus or energy.

Chase
 

ZacAdam

Cro-Magnon Man
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Nov 20, 2012
Messages
4,446
Chase said:
I would advise you to inspect your emotions and see if there's some sense of, "Well, no matter what happens with these other girls, it's fine because she's still there," going on... if there is, try not to let it get in the way of your dating higher quality women.

If you're only seeing her once a month, I doubt it interferes with you much - you're almost certainly fine, so long as it isn't taking up much of your mental focus or energy.
Something to really take notice, naturally you tend to fall back. Great insight. I will keep track.

Zac, :)
 

Just_Dave

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 21, 2012
Messages
529
Hey Chase,

I really believe this is where space comes into play. Seeing and talking to your girlfriend can be emotionally, physically, and socially draining on you after awhile. A man needs time to recharge and enjoy his own interests. Because if he's not innovating his life, like you said he stops and his sexiness dwindles drastically.

Dave
 

AFCnoob

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
161
There's that creepy feeling again, like Chase is talking directly to me. Of course that's not the case, but it's a great reminder. I'm in danger of this myself.
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
This is sounds advice. often we jump into relationships, and find ourselves stuck with someone who inst anything like us.

A big issue is why did we do that? a lot of the time we just fall in love too easy. which is a real issue for once you fall in love there inst an easy way back.
 
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