Avoiding friend zone due to lack of arousal

[Whiteheart]

Gentlemen,

I have one question for you. It is about how to avoid to be slotted in friend zone immedietely on approach due to lack of arousal. Think is that a lot of times I approached women, had good fundamentals, built a lot of similarity and while I was building similarity I was trying to build some arousal. That attempts to build arrousal were to talk about exciting topics where we built similarity and maybe to banter with her a little. Thing is that during daygame you don’t have a lot of time to talk to women and after 5-10 minutes (or often even less) you have to ask for date and contact info. Looks like that what I do is not enough for women and guess what. I got dates but they were friend zoned dates. I know Chase once adviced me to foccuss on vibe and be more charming. Thing is that I am naturally a little bit nervous and it is not easy for me to work on vibe.

So should I continue to improve vibe or additionally to try something else? What else can be done? What are your experiences about this? Did anyone have the same problem? I have one idea to build similarity on aproach but to invite women more on arousal dates than informational dates as I used to do earlier. Maybe this can prevent friend zone or pull me out of friend zones in which I am not too deep slotted?
After all I know that problem with arousal can be fixed if man is in frend zone but why bother with that and trying to seduce her as a friend when it can be prevented with right game.
Any answers, inclucing critics are welcome! Thanks for your time!

Stay healthy and safe!
Blackheart

 

[Whiteheart]

Maybe I wasn't clear enough. During daygame for beginners and intermediate players often there isn’t enough time to make the best first impression. After 5-10 minutes guy will have to ask her for date and grab some contact info. In that period of time I can succeed to build some similarity and compliance. But in that period of time I don’t have time to build good arousal. Later, girls don’t want to schedule dates or on scheduled dates treat me as a friend. My guess is that I am friend zoned due to my poor vibe and the lack of arousal during approach. I will exclude overproviding good feelings, doing things on her term and being useful.

Question is, is there a way to better arouse a girl during daygame approach so on date she can see me as a lover or boyfriend and not as a friend? Do I have to do that or to just focus on improving vibe and to try to arouse her latter on scheduled dates? Any experience or opinion will be appreciated.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@Blackheart dude! Vibe, fundamentals, style. I actually believe you're mentally cock blocking yourself and it's a change your outlook thing that can fix this. Mostly this is in your head, if she's engaged in talking to you, if she agrees to a date, if she gives her number chances are she's interested. If she's not overly interested she's at least gave you an interview for the job....

How you present yourself, view yourself and carry yourself in this can change everything. If you had less than a minute with her unless she found you extremely attractive she's probably not aroused and you haven't had chance or the environment to do that anyway. This doesn't stop you from assuming attraction.

On the date assume she's really into you, she finds you attractive. She has to be too be there with you dude....

If you find first thing you get there she's a little of its because you're strangers and she's figuring you out. If you're confident and assuming attraction this will fix itself because you'll act right.

Being nervous, not leading, being uncomfortable isn't attractive. Now you've got her attention you can get her emotionally invested.

The way to arouse her during the approach is a nuance. Be a sexy guy, be sexual. If you have chance to amp up sexual tension with eye contact, body language, touch, intent then you set a stronger frame and advertise yourself as this super sexy dude, dude!

 

[Zoro]

What @Fluxcapacitor said!

Also, you don't need to have a girl aroused to have her interested in you. If that happens then fuck yeah, but less intense emotions are all you need. Compliance, intrigue, good convo, etc. These things are enough.

Btw, I was visibly SHAKING when I opened my current GF and she loves to mention it. She also is very attracted to me. Courage isn't a lack of fear, it's action despite it.

How i gained confidence was through experience, working on fundamentals, taking advice from GC and building my life holistically. I started out in your shoes, and you can go beyond me if you put in the work and keep it up! good luck man, we're here for you.

 

[Whiteheart]

@Blackheart dude! Vibe, fundamentals, style. I actually believe you're mentally cock blocking yourself and it's a change your outlook thing that can fix this. Mostly this is in your head, if she's engaged in talking to you, if she agrees to a date, if she gives her number chances are she's interested. If she's not overly interested she's at least gave you an interview for the job....

How you present yourself, view yourself and carry yourself in this can change everything. If you had less than a minute with her unless she found you extremely attractive she's probably not aroused and you haven't had chance or the environment to do that anyway. This doesn't stop you from assuming attraction.

On the date assume she's really into you, she finds you attractive. She has to be too be there with you dude....

If you find first thing you get there she's a little of its because you're strangers and she's figuring you out. If you're confident and assuming attraction this will fix itself because you'll act right.

Being nervous, not leading, being uncomfortable isn't attractive. Now you've got her attention you can get her emotionally invested.

The way to arouse her during the approach is a nuance. Be a sexy guy, be sexual. If you have chance to amp up sexual tension with eye contact, body language, touch, intent then you set a stronger frame and advertise yourself as this super sexy dude, dude!

Thanks a lot bro! Good advices, I agree. I will try to improve other factors that infulence to attraction that are easier to show in early game, and also to assume attraction.
Thanks again!

 

[Whiteheart]

What @Fluxcapacitor said!

Also, you don't need to have a girl aroused to have her interested in you. If that happens then fuck yeah, but less intense emotions are all you need. Compliance, intrigue, good convo, etc. These things are enough.

Btw, I was visibly SHAKING when I opened my current GF and she loves to mention it. She also is very attracted to me. Courage isn't a lack of fear, it's action despite it.

How i gained confidence was through experience, working on fundamentals, taking advice from GC and building my life holistically. I started out in your shoes, and you can go beyond me if you put in the work and keep it up! good luck man, we're here for you.

Hey bro,
I agree with you. When I was in high school I wasn't much arousing but some girls still liked me. Also I have some friends and cousins that aren't arousing at all but have a good vibe and they have sleept with girls more then me. These days I end up pretty much in friend zone with girls I meet during cold approach. My fundamentals are good and conversation for building rapport is also good. So I guessed that probably problem is in vibe and arousal. Anyway, maybe that girls were just too picky I will listen your advice and continue to improve fundamentals, intrigue and conversation and good mood near girls.
Thanks a lot bro. I don't have your level of game but you can also count on me, I have some experience in daygame approaching.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@Blackheart dude! If you can build good rapport and connect it could be an attainability thing. If they perceive you to platonic or to easily available they're not attracted. This again comes back to sexual intent and having a sexy vibe. Look at push pull, looking bored and aiming for investment and compliance. If you're not breaking the touch barrier and you don't have great non verbals, a great tone to your voice, a good pace and leading the conversation to better topics it'll all feel friendly.

 

[Whiteheart]

@Blackheart dude! If you can build good rapport and connect it could be an attainability thing. If they perceive you to platonic or to easily available they're not attracted. This again comes back to sexual intent and having a sexy vibe. Look at push pull, looking bored and aiming for investment and compliance. If you're not breaking the touch barrier and you don't have great non verbals, a great tone to your voice, a good pace and leading the conversation to better topics it'll all feel friendly.

You are absolutely right bro. Despite good rapport, connection and even compliance I am often perceived as platonic. Good advice! I will focus on things you mentioned, it can be what you said that nonverbal techniques should be used more. Hope we will discuss more about how to practice these techniques in this or separately in another thread.

 

[Zoro]

Despite good rapport, connection and even compliance I am often perceived as platonic

Some quick fixes: pregnant pauses, flirting (role play, tease), eye contact, grins, self amusement, light touch, leading, moving faster

You might want to reflect on what you're doing and not doing that is demonstrating boyfriend value and then do the same for lover value.

I had a pretty platonic conversation recently and I could tell there was chemistry brewing. I certainly was turned on, and I think she was too.

It's not what you do, but how you do it.

Here's another hack, do things that promote healthy testosterone levels. Testonerone is associated with risk taking, and that translates into bold action in game.

-Sleep well, eat well, avoid processed foods, lift heavy weights, get sun exposure around noon on a lot of skin (don't burn, you might inly need 10-15 mins, tan naked if you can!), avoid alcohol, avoid porn, have real sex, lower stress, etc.

 

[Whiteheart]

Some quick fixes: pregnant pauses, flirting (role play, tease), eye contact, grins, self amusement, light touch, leading, moving faster

You might want to reflect on what you're doing and not doing that is demonstrating boyfriend value and then do the same for lover value.

I had a pretty platonic conversation recently and I could tell there was chemistry brewing. I certainly was turned on, and I think she was too.

It's not what you do, but how you do it.

Here's another hack, do things that promote healthy testosterone levels. Testonerone is associated with risk taking, and that translates into bold action in game.

-Sleep well, eat well, avoid processed foods, lift heavy weights, get sun exposure around noon on a lot of skin (don't burn, you might inly need 10-15 mins, tan naked if you can!), avoid alcohol, avoid porn, have real sex, lower stress, etc.

That is it bro! Thanks! I think that is it. "It's not what you do, but how you do it". Non verbal tech and testosterone building with add necessary arousal in conversation that will then lead to attraction. And I think that during cold approach this is easer to implement and more productive then using more advanced tech for building arousal. Especially for beginners as I am.
Many greetings.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@Blackheart dude! There's great articles here that cover non verbals much better than I can. Your posture you can practice in the mirror, eye contact and facials could possibly be practiced in a mirror? Not something I've done. My facials and certain looks just happen for me I have very expressive eyes and eyebrows that happens like a knee jerk. I made a phone call yesterday and noticed I flashed my eyebrows even though she couldn't see it, just auto pilot.

Body language you practice everytime you talk to someone. You'll use different things with different people your body language will change but you'll notice when you're relaxed and comfortable and can use this. Other body language can be practiced though visualisation. How would you react? Think back to your dates and the conversations, you'll have flash back memories to certain things and you can use this to improve through visualisation. You can trick your mind into believing the visualisations are reference points and more experience.

Touching someone on a high point of conversation or a request you can practice with everyone, it'll then feel natural to do this if you feel you're not connecting and you're not using touch. You'll develop incidental touches and purposeful touching that becomes natural to you. I like to use a gentle touch of my fingertips and run them softly down her arm, hands, fingers, or legs. I use sensual and playful touches depending on where the conversation is and how she's reacting

 

[Whiteheart]

@Blackheart dude! There's great articles here that cover non verbals much better than I can. Your posture you can practice in the mirror, eye contact and facials could possibly be practiced in a mirror? Not something I've done. My facials and certain looks just happen for me I have very expressive eyes and eyebrows that happens like a knee jerk. I made a phone call yesterday and noticed I flashed my eyebrows even though she couldn't see it, just auto pilot.

Body language you practice everytime you talk to someone. You'll use different things with different people your body language will change but you'll notice when you're relaxed and comfortable and can use this. Other body language can be practiced though visualisation. How would you react? Think back to your dates and the conversations, you'll have flash back memories to certain things and you can use this to improve through visualisation. You can trick your mind into believing the visualisations are reference points and more experience.

Touching someone on a high point of conversation or a request you can practice with everyone, it'll then feel natural to do this if you feel you're not connecting and you're not using touch. You'll develop incidental touches and purposeful touching that becomes natural to you. I like to use a gentle touch of my fingertips and run them softly down her arm, hands, fingers, or legs. I use sensual and playful touches depending on where the conversation is and how she's reacting

Thanks man!