Balance between persistence and coming off as being "needy"?

NarrowJ

Tribal Elder
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Feb 13, 2013
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I can be pretty persistent when trying to get a girl out:

"Oh come on it's just a date. It's like an hour of your time. What if we really hit it off?"

That sort of thing.

So I'm wondering how far you guys take persistence. I've bedded women that I literally had to almost beg to go out with me. I've also ran myself into the ground with it too, probably because the girl may view me as needy or desperate (just my theory). What's your take on this? How far do you guys go with persistence to get a girl out, and are there things about a girl that might indicate how she'll respond to a great deal of persistence? Is it my approach to being persistent? It really seems like a crap shoot to me, as I've had mixed results being overly pressing and I haven't been able to put my finger on this.

-NJ
 

Light

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Re: Balance between persistence and coming off as being "nee

I only go as far as it is convenient for myself. Being busy as I usually am, I just simply ask again and again... at my own time. That could be once every 3 days, 10 days, two weeks, or even a month until you hear from me again.
 

ZacAdam

Cro-Magnon Man
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Re: Balance between persistence and coming off as being "nee

NarrowJ said:
I can be pretty persistent when trying to get a girl out:

"Oh come on it's just a date. It's like an hour of your time. What if we really hit it off?"

That sort of thing.

So I'm wondering how far you guys take persistence. I've bedded women that I literally had to almost beg to go out with me. I've also ran myself into the ground with it too, probably because the girl may view me as needy or desperate (just my theory). What's your take on this? How far do you guys go with persistence to get a girl out, and are there things about a girl that might indicate how she'll respond to a great deal of persistence? Is it my approach to being persistent? It really seems like a crap shoot to me, as I've had mixed results being overly pressing and I haven't been able to put my finger on this.

Hey J, i have do that somewhat too. My persistence is somewhere i try to have small conversations with her over text for a certain period of time like a month or two, I will text her twice a week with three to four days in between, and one of the days i ask her out.

Always work for me, if she's not too sure about you yet. I don't recommend this for beginners because you tend to expect her message you back. This is more of hit n miss.

Zac
 

Franco

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Re: Balance between persistence and coming off as being "nee

NJ,

Great question here, and even I am still trying to find a balance between "neediness" and "persistence" myself. However, I've been experimenting with a new rule that seems to be helping me draw the line between these two. The rule is this:

  • 1) Anything you do in person to get a girl to follow your lead is persistent and sexy.
    2) Anything you do through texting or social media to get a girl to follow your lead (other than being direct and just inviting her out with you) is desperate and needy.

So in other words, there should not be a lot of "begging" going on through texting or social media. You can send maybe one witty text or two (like the one you mentioned in your post) to try to get her to come out with you, but much more than that and she'll believe you don't have other options. A man with lots of options will contact the next girl in his phone book.

But when you're in person, you can be suave, charming, sexy, and get her to be really craving your sexuality since you're using body language to go along with your verbals. You can be extremely persistent in person and have it work wonders. This even works with sexual escalation -- check out charming's lay report (Part 2) where extreme persistence gets him past LMR if you haven't already.

The best way to find out what works for you really is to experiment. My experiment has gone well so far. =)

- Franco
 
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