- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
Today, I went out to do Night Game for the first time in a while. I was feeling pretty rusty, so feel free to laugh/ be amused by tonight's clumsiness.
As soon as I got out of the car, I asked the first set of girls I saw how their night's going. They were walking the opposite direction. Neither I nor them stopped walking. As we were passing each other, they answered "pretty good!"
Next, about 5 seconds later, I run into another group of girls. One of them randomly puts her hand out to high five me. I didn't notice that for like 5 seconds cause I was looking at her friends who were on the other side of the sidewalk. Eventually, I noticed her and high fived her. So that was pretty awkward. LOL. Truth be told, she was really hot too. I probably shouldve stayed in the conversation, but I felt kinda blindsided by the fact that I didn't notice her in the first place. So I ejected from the convo. <---My bad. lol
So I finally reach the club. In front of me in line are a group of asian girls. I asked the hottest one:
Me: Is the line always this long?
Her: I dunno, I usually don't get here this late.
Me: Yeah, me neither, last time I was here it was at like 10:00.
[She turns back to her friends. A minute later I continue]:
Me: So what are you guys celebrating?
Her: We're celebrating life!
Me: That's a great answer! <----I also said something else after that, I don't remember what though. It was pretty irrelavent.
Her: What about you? What are you celebrating?
Me: Actually, I was gonna say that too! I'm also celebrating life! Haha<----I couldn't think of a witty/edgy response like I normally can on dates. So I guess this had to do.
Her: Are you a student?
Me: yeah, ofc
Her: See, so we're celebrating summer break!
Me: haha, yeah, Ik right? "Summer break" [I gesture at the whether, which is really cold and rainy]
So far, its just small talk. I could have done better, but too bad. After that, shit started to hit the fan. I for no reason at all brought up that I'm waiting for my friends (which is a lie)<---I guess I'm still a little insecure about going out alone?
Also, I started qualifying myself and talking about myself for no reason. Finally, to put the nail in the coffin, after she had mentioned they go to UW, I said "You guys look like UW students!"
Her: Why? Cause we're Asian?
Me: Yeah, plus you're well dressed.
Her: This is like, casual Friday (Its true, they didn't look all that great at all in terms of fashion).
Me: [Trying to cover] Compared to the kids in Bellingham, you look great!
Her: I don't believe you [In a matter of factly tone].
Me: Some weird, rapport-seeking answer which I forgot.
I think the worst part about this conversation was that the whole time, my voice had that rapport-seeking higher pitch. Its kinda hard to explain. But its the same voice you would use when you're at a customer service job and you're talking to a customer.
When we got to the front of the line, I found out there's a cover charge (the past few times I went, there wasn't). I guess its cause I showed up later this time. I had no money on me at the time. So I started doing some nighttime street game as I walked around looking for a good bar to post up at. As I was walking around, I clumsily complimented a few girls who were walking the opposite direction of me. They either didn't hear me or didn't know I was talking to them. Once again, it was in that wimpy rapport-seeking voice.
I finally found a bar, I walked in. Talked to a couple for a second. For some reason the dude said I was really good looking. Which was kinda creepy to me. So I ended the conversation. Next, I noticed a girl sitting all by herself in a booth. I walked up to her:
Me: You look lonely! (rapport seeking voice again)
Her: I'm here with a friend, she's in the bathroom.
Me: Oh, ok. Cause you looked really out of it for some reason (there were a LOT of drinks on the table)
Her: Na, I'm good! [Or something like that]
I wasn't really sure how to continue this conversation, so I just left.
I walked around for a little while longer and I opened another set of two girls walking the other direction. For the first time, they actually heard me:
Me: I like how you guys are matching! [They both had black undershirts]
Her: What, we're matching?
Me: Yeah, ofc
Her: Do you have cigarettes?
Me: No, sorry, I don't smoke!
Her: But I bet I should get a pair of those cool earrings <----WTF???! I can't explain this.
I forget the rest of the conversation. But I they walked away laughing at me.
Tonight was VERY incongruent with how I behave on dates. And even with warm approaches (i.e. girls who are introduced to me). I suspect it was mostly due to the lingering approach anxiety and the fact that I generally felt pretty out of my comfort zone that night. In terms of fundamentals, I seemed to be mostly ok other than the voice thing inflection thing. But my vibe was VERY off. I was projecting a creepy vibe the whole time. Wasn't pretty.
It kinda feels like the way I felt on my first few Tinder dates. I was panicky/uncomfortable/anxious. I'm confident that once I do it a few more times, I'll start to feel more comfortable, and I'll be back to behaving like my regular self.
At this same time though, despite knowing that this is completely normal for someone who's very inexperianced with cold approach, I still feel kinda frustrated/creepy/shitty atm. I dunno why. I now this is all normal and its part of the learning process. And as soon as I do it a few more times, I'll behave congruently with the way I behave on dates. But still, I just can't shake the feeling for some reason.
Edit: It also might have been because I was alone and I hadn't drank. So far, everytime before I went out alone, I always drank like, 2 beers before going out to loosen up. This time, being completely sober and alone, my anxiety was much higher than normal.
As soon as I got out of the car, I asked the first set of girls I saw how their night's going. They were walking the opposite direction. Neither I nor them stopped walking. As we were passing each other, they answered "pretty good!"
Next, about 5 seconds later, I run into another group of girls. One of them randomly puts her hand out to high five me. I didn't notice that for like 5 seconds cause I was looking at her friends who were on the other side of the sidewalk. Eventually, I noticed her and high fived her. So that was pretty awkward. LOL. Truth be told, she was really hot too. I probably shouldve stayed in the conversation, but I felt kinda blindsided by the fact that I didn't notice her in the first place. So I ejected from the convo. <---My bad. lol
So I finally reach the club. In front of me in line are a group of asian girls. I asked the hottest one:
Me: Is the line always this long?
Her: I dunno, I usually don't get here this late.
Me: Yeah, me neither, last time I was here it was at like 10:00.
[She turns back to her friends. A minute later I continue]:
Me: So what are you guys celebrating?
Her: We're celebrating life!
Me: That's a great answer! <----I also said something else after that, I don't remember what though. It was pretty irrelavent.
Her: What about you? What are you celebrating?
Me: Actually, I was gonna say that too! I'm also celebrating life! Haha<----I couldn't think of a witty/edgy response like I normally can on dates. So I guess this had to do.
Her: Are you a student?
Me: yeah, ofc
Her: See, so we're celebrating summer break!
Me: haha, yeah, Ik right? "Summer break" [I gesture at the whether, which is really cold and rainy]
So far, its just small talk. I could have done better, but too bad. After that, shit started to hit the fan. I for no reason at all brought up that I'm waiting for my friends (which is a lie)<---I guess I'm still a little insecure about going out alone?
Also, I started qualifying myself and talking about myself for no reason. Finally, to put the nail in the coffin, after she had mentioned they go to UW, I said "You guys look like UW students!"
Her: Why? Cause we're Asian?
Me: Yeah, plus you're well dressed.
Her: This is like, casual Friday (Its true, they didn't look all that great at all in terms of fashion).
Me: [Trying to cover] Compared to the kids in Bellingham, you look great!
Her: I don't believe you [In a matter of factly tone].
Me: Some weird, rapport-seeking answer which I forgot.
I think the worst part about this conversation was that the whole time, my voice had that rapport-seeking higher pitch. Its kinda hard to explain. But its the same voice you would use when you're at a customer service job and you're talking to a customer.
When we got to the front of the line, I found out there's a cover charge (the past few times I went, there wasn't). I guess its cause I showed up later this time. I had no money on me at the time. So I started doing some nighttime street game as I walked around looking for a good bar to post up at. As I was walking around, I clumsily complimented a few girls who were walking the opposite direction of me. They either didn't hear me or didn't know I was talking to them. Once again, it was in that wimpy rapport-seeking voice.
I finally found a bar, I walked in. Talked to a couple for a second. For some reason the dude said I was really good looking. Which was kinda creepy to me. So I ended the conversation. Next, I noticed a girl sitting all by herself in a booth. I walked up to her:
Me: You look lonely! (rapport seeking voice again)
Her: I'm here with a friend, she's in the bathroom.
Me: Oh, ok. Cause you looked really out of it for some reason (there were a LOT of drinks on the table)
Her: Na, I'm good! [Or something like that]
I wasn't really sure how to continue this conversation, so I just left.
I walked around for a little while longer and I opened another set of two girls walking the other direction. For the first time, they actually heard me:
Me: I like how you guys are matching! [They both had black undershirts]
Her: What, we're matching?
Me: Yeah, ofc
Her: Do you have cigarettes?
Me: No, sorry, I don't smoke!
Her: But I bet I should get a pair of those cool earrings <----WTF???! I can't explain this.
I forget the rest of the conversation. But I they walked away laughing at me.
Tonight was VERY incongruent with how I behave on dates. And even with warm approaches (i.e. girls who are introduced to me). I suspect it was mostly due to the lingering approach anxiety and the fact that I generally felt pretty out of my comfort zone that night. In terms of fundamentals, I seemed to be mostly ok other than the voice thing inflection thing. But my vibe was VERY off. I was projecting a creepy vibe the whole time. Wasn't pretty.
It kinda feels like the way I felt on my first few Tinder dates. I was panicky/uncomfortable/anxious. I'm confident that once I do it a few more times, I'll start to feel more comfortable, and I'll be back to behaving like my regular self.
At this same time though, despite knowing that this is completely normal for someone who's very inexperianced with cold approach, I still feel kinda frustrated/creepy/shitty atm. I dunno why. I now this is all normal and its part of the learning process. And as soon as I do it a few more times, I'll behave congruently with the way I behave on dates. But still, I just can't shake the feeling for some reason.
Edit: It also might have been because I was alone and I hadn't drank. So far, everytime before I went out alone, I always drank like, 2 beers before going out to loosen up. This time, being completely sober and alone, my anxiety was much higher than normal.
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
Tonight I was on fire.
I just moved back to my school campus. This is the first weekend back and I had already lined up two parties for tonight alone. I'm still wearing a sling from my surgery. At first, I thought this would hinder me because it makes it harder to stand up straight, my clothes don't look as good with in on etc. So I thought my fundamentals would be off. Turns out, it works as a great prop.
Every girl I talked to throughout the night would ask me: What did you do to your arm? So I came up with kind of a canned story which served as a great ice breaker: "Well, I'm a Wrestler for our school's team. But tbh, I got kind of bored of Wrestling people. So I started practicing on bears instead. I actually beat all of them. But it looks like they don't know how to take a loss cause after I pinned them, they all ganged up on me and punched my arm". - I mightve used different words and said it in a way which is a little more engaging, but that was the basic content of it. Addiionally, I would say this story in a very serious deadpan voice. But my vibe would be extremely playful/high energy. It worked like magic. Most of them smiled and some of them even straight up laughed. Moreover, they would then press on asking me "what really happened?" and I would always playfully deflect the question. This seemed to build both excitement and intrigue- a great combination.
Anyways, we started out pregaming it was five girls, my roommate and I. I have no interest in pursuing any of said girls except for one. I was just introduced to her that night. At the start of the night, I asked her some pretty basic questions. She seemed somewhat shy and reserved, and a very low-energy individual. She didn't seem too interested in talking to me at first. So I treated her like everyone else in the group. Didn't give her any more nor any less attention then everyone else.
After about an hour, we left for the first party. As soon as we got there, I started talking to this really cute petite girl. I forget the actual conversation, but it involved me using misinterpretation (type of humor) to suggest that she was making fun of me for having a broken arm or something. To which, she laughed and started saying she's sorry a bunch of times. Within about 30 seconds, I had my arm around her saying "its ok, I forgive you" or something like that. Unfortunately, after a while, something else grabbed her attention so she left.
Moving on, I go inside the house. I start conversations with a few other girls. Spike attraction instantly through playful banter/teasing, but for the most part, nothing comes of it.
I open this set of two girls. I forget how I opened. I think I actually commented on something they were already talking about. I just overheard them and inserted myself in the conversation. Instantly, they asked "what happened to your arm?" So I tell them the whole bear story. They both laugh and start leaning in more closely. I banter back and fourth with them for a little while. Eventually, one of them directly admits that I'm cute. I would have pulled her then and there, but her friend was sitting right there with her. Ultimately, I didn't find any way of moving things forward because there was no plausible way to isolate. So I got up and moved on.
As I exit the room, I spot a really cute blue eyed blonde girl- just my type. I open her by commenting on her dress or something...I always forget what my openers are. haha. Anyways, she instantly asks me "what happened to your arm?" I tell her the whole bear story. She smiles and laughs. Again, we banter back and fourth for a while. She didn't seem interested enough for me to pull her, but I should've number closed. I instead opted to just walk away instead for some reason.
I go upstairs to the next level. There's a beerpong table and a coach. The coach had a not-so-cute blonde girl, and the cute girl I was originally pre-gaming with. I start flirting with the not-cute blonde girl to start running a jealousy plotline. She hooks instantly. After talking to her for about two mins, the girl of interest who I was pregaming engages me for the first time. She starts asking me all kinds of questions about myself. I mostly deflect all of them. I can see that look in her eyes as she gets more and more excited by my unwillingness to divulge any information about myself. She more or less started chasing me for the rest of the night, trying to find out more about me as I went off and talked to other girls in front of her. lol.
Sadly, I found out later in the night that she had a BF. But she's a freshman and its an LDR- they don't usually last. Since she's social circle, I might have a chance with her down the road if attraction doesn't expire.
Anyways, I was kind of kicking myself for not getting the cute blonde girl's number. So I walk around, I eventually found her. She was just standing on the staircase by herself. I walk up to her and say
Me: "On a scale of 1-10, how much did you miss me?"
Her: [Laughs] I dunno, like a five.
Me: What? Only a five? Wooow! I'm offended
Her: Haha, I don't even know you!
Me: Ok, then you should get to know me.
Her: I should.
Me: [I hand her my phone and she puts in her contact info]
We chat for a little while longer, and I excuse myself.
10 mins later, we left that party and headed off to the second.
Unlike the first one, the second party was kinda dead. There was literally like, 10 people there. However, there was one absolutely gorgeous Latina girl there. I walk up to her and before I even say anything, she introduces herself to me and asks me what happened to my arm. I give her the whole bear story. Unlike the rest of the girls, she didn't hook. She had a pretty neatural expression on her face. She didn't seem to like or dislike what I just said. We chat for like, 30 more seconds and she excuses herself.
Being that she was the only person of interest at that party, I reopened her several more times within the next 30 mins. She seemed happy to talk to me, but there was clearly not sexual interest. I later found out that she has a BF. Which is probably why this happened.
We left the party and went back to my friend's house (where we originally pre-gamed). We drank for another hour or so. Because the first party got busted and the second one was dead.
Overall takeaways- Good night, but I'm a little bit hesitant on closing when I should. Also, I need to figure out how to isolate girls who are in sets of 2. Cause if its 3 girls or more, its fairly easy to just peel one of them away as the other two talk to each other. But if its just two, this becomes pretty difficult.
I just moved back to my school campus. This is the first weekend back and I had already lined up two parties for tonight alone. I'm still wearing a sling from my surgery. At first, I thought this would hinder me because it makes it harder to stand up straight, my clothes don't look as good with in on etc. So I thought my fundamentals would be off. Turns out, it works as a great prop.
Every girl I talked to throughout the night would ask me: What did you do to your arm? So I came up with kind of a canned story which served as a great ice breaker: "Well, I'm a Wrestler for our school's team. But tbh, I got kind of bored of Wrestling people. So I started practicing on bears instead. I actually beat all of them. But it looks like they don't know how to take a loss cause after I pinned them, they all ganged up on me and punched my arm". - I mightve used different words and said it in a way which is a little more engaging, but that was the basic content of it. Addiionally, I would say this story in a very serious deadpan voice. But my vibe would be extremely playful/high energy. It worked like magic. Most of them smiled and some of them even straight up laughed. Moreover, they would then press on asking me "what really happened?" and I would always playfully deflect the question. This seemed to build both excitement and intrigue- a great combination.
Anyways, we started out pregaming it was five girls, my roommate and I. I have no interest in pursuing any of said girls except for one. I was just introduced to her that night. At the start of the night, I asked her some pretty basic questions. She seemed somewhat shy and reserved, and a very low-energy individual. She didn't seem too interested in talking to me at first. So I treated her like everyone else in the group. Didn't give her any more nor any less attention then everyone else.
After about an hour, we left for the first party. As soon as we got there, I started talking to this really cute petite girl. I forget the actual conversation, but it involved me using misinterpretation (type of humor) to suggest that she was making fun of me for having a broken arm or something. To which, she laughed and started saying she's sorry a bunch of times. Within about 30 seconds, I had my arm around her saying "its ok, I forgive you" or something like that. Unfortunately, after a while, something else grabbed her attention so she left.
Moving on, I go inside the house. I start conversations with a few other girls. Spike attraction instantly through playful banter/teasing, but for the most part, nothing comes of it.
I open this set of two girls. I forget how I opened. I think I actually commented on something they were already talking about. I just overheard them and inserted myself in the conversation. Instantly, they asked "what happened to your arm?" So I tell them the whole bear story. They both laugh and start leaning in more closely. I banter back and fourth with them for a little while. Eventually, one of them directly admits that I'm cute. I would have pulled her then and there, but her friend was sitting right there with her. Ultimately, I didn't find any way of moving things forward because there was no plausible way to isolate. So I got up and moved on.
As I exit the room, I spot a really cute blue eyed blonde girl- just my type. I open her by commenting on her dress or something...I always forget what my openers are. haha. Anyways, she instantly asks me "what happened to your arm?" I tell her the whole bear story. She smiles and laughs. Again, we banter back and fourth for a while. She didn't seem interested enough for me to pull her, but I should've number closed. I instead opted to just walk away instead for some reason.
I go upstairs to the next level. There's a beerpong table and a coach. The coach had a not-so-cute blonde girl, and the cute girl I was originally pre-gaming with. I start flirting with the not-cute blonde girl to start running a jealousy plotline. She hooks instantly. After talking to her for about two mins, the girl of interest who I was pregaming engages me for the first time. She starts asking me all kinds of questions about myself. I mostly deflect all of them. I can see that look in her eyes as she gets more and more excited by my unwillingness to divulge any information about myself. She more or less started chasing me for the rest of the night, trying to find out more about me as I went off and talked to other girls in front of her. lol.
Sadly, I found out later in the night that she had a BF. But she's a freshman and its an LDR- they don't usually last. Since she's social circle, I might have a chance with her down the road if attraction doesn't expire.
Anyways, I was kind of kicking myself for not getting the cute blonde girl's number. So I walk around, I eventually found her. She was just standing on the staircase by herself. I walk up to her and say
Me: "On a scale of 1-10, how much did you miss me?"
Her: [Laughs] I dunno, like a five.
Me: What? Only a five? Wooow! I'm offended
Her: Haha, I don't even know you!
Me: Ok, then you should get to know me.
Her: I should.
Me: [I hand her my phone and she puts in her contact info]
We chat for a little while longer, and I excuse myself.
10 mins later, we left that party and headed off to the second.
Unlike the first one, the second party was kinda dead. There was literally like, 10 people there. However, there was one absolutely gorgeous Latina girl there. I walk up to her and before I even say anything, she introduces herself to me and asks me what happened to my arm. I give her the whole bear story. Unlike the rest of the girls, she didn't hook. She had a pretty neatural expression on her face. She didn't seem to like or dislike what I just said. We chat for like, 30 more seconds and she excuses herself.
Being that she was the only person of interest at that party, I reopened her several more times within the next 30 mins. She seemed happy to talk to me, but there was clearly not sexual interest. I later found out that she has a BF. Which is probably why this happened.
We left the party and went back to my friend's house (where we originally pre-gamed). We drank for another hour or so. Because the first party got busted and the second one was dead.
Overall takeaways- Good night, but I'm a little bit hesitant on closing when I should. Also, I need to figure out how to isolate girls who are in sets of 2. Cause if its 3 girls or more, its fairly easy to just peel one of them away as the other two talk to each other. But if its just two, this becomes pretty difficult.
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
Today, my friends hosted a party. It started out pretty worrisome. By around 10:30, it seemed like 80% dudes and 20% females. Under the assumption that the rest of the night would be this way, I decided to allow myself a little more drinking than usual (seeing that I'm not going to be chatting up girls). As it turns out, I was wrong. About half an hour later, a few hot girls came in. Unfortunately, at that point, I was at "stumbling drunk" stage. Despite this, the words that came out of my mouth were ok. But my fundamentals were not. So I more or less got blown off by every girl for a while.
Additionally, I might have been giving off a negative vibe because there was one point in time where I was heading up the stairs. There was a girl I didn't know behind me. She started slapping my ass saying "up up up up!" (she's trying to tell me to go up the stairs faster).
I turn around
Me: Woah, way to slap my ass like a million times! Why were you doing that?
Her: Cause I'm allowed to!
Me: No you're not! I'm not just a piece of meat for you to take advantage of! <---in The middle of me saying this, she said I'm sorry and left.
Anyways, I eventually sobered up enough that I could function again. Luckily, there were still a few hot girls left. I sat down next to one of them and she immediately opened me.
Her: Hi, my name is "Her name"
We have a short conversation during which I find out she has a BF. I walk around the party a little longer. Eventually, I spot a really cute Asian girl. Hottest one I've seen in a while. Still feeling that I might be too drunk and my fundamaentals might be a little bit off. So I wait to sober up a little more. In the meantime, I had another rather flirty convo with the girl who has BF. We also did some light kino via a thumb war I initiated. Her BF was literally like, 3 feet away though. So there wasn't much I can do.
Anyways, I finally decide to approach the Asian girl. Inititally, I wasn't sure how I was gonna do it. Cause she was sitting on a coach with like, 5 of her friends. As soon as I walk up, she excitedly says "Hey, what's your name!?"
Me: Hi I'm Bboy
Her: What happened to your arm (still in a sling).
Me: A lot of things
Her: Give me an example of something
Me: ....
We continue bantering back and fourth for a little. I also did a little bit of light kino. I interlaced my fingers with hers. We're still in front of all her friends. At this point, I guess one of her male orbiters got jealous or something. While I was still bantering with her, the convo was something along the lines of:
Me: I'm not even sure you exist. Let alone anything else.
Random Guy next to us: Yeah dude! She doesn't exiiiiist!!!!! He's literally yelling this in my ear. Neither she nor I had talked to him thus far. So I decided the simplest solution to this would be to not break circle and just completely ignore it.
Me: .... Continue talking to her.
Eventually, she gets up saying she'll be right back. I take her seat on the couch for a second. I then get up and start walking around. I run into her again
Her: [Grabs my forarm] You're not leaving are you?
Me: No. Why? Do you wanna leave with me?
Her: [I guess she only heard no because it was really loud] Ok, good. I don't like it when people leave.
Two things to note here:
1. Maybe I should have persisted till she acknowledged my pull. Whether via rejection or accepting my invitation. But letting it go completely ignored was probaly a bad idea.
2. I should have grabbed her fucking phone number. I completely spaced out. This was the only time she was away from her friends all throughout. It was the only ideal opportunity. I paid for this later on.
So, at this point, she's the only hot girl left at the party. She goes back and sits on the coach surrounded by her friends again. I'm feeling frustrated for not grabbing her number. So I decide to formulate a plan to extract it anyways. I go hang out in the general area where she's at and chat with random people. Ideally, I was hoping I would catch her in a moment where all her friends would be talking to one another and I could grab the number. No such luck. She seems to be the most popular person in their group by far.
Sensing that my plan isn't working, I start another conversation with her. Again, my reception is very warm. But then someone else grabs her attention away from me. Finally, she says that they're all leaving. So I decided...fuck discretion, I'll just ask her for her phone no. in front of everyone. I'm not lettin this one go without at least trying.
So as they're all getting up, I quickly lean in and in a low tone say
Me: We should hang out sometime [Already have the phone in my hand]
Her: Sure! [She types in her number]
Overall, an ok night. I wasn't as in state as yesterday. But I still managed to get at least a number off it. Also- still need to push for closes faster. I might have been able to pull her if I insisted harder, and there was CERTAINLY a much better opportunity to grab her number which I completely missed.
As a side note:
2 out of 4 of the girls I hang out with hooked up with random guys BOTH LAST NIGHT AND TONIGHT. None of said guys has any "game" at all. And keep in mind that one of them is in an LTR. So that really leave 2 out of 3 available women being slutty. I mean, I knew sex happened fast. But fuck, this opens eyes to a whole new level of what's possible.
Additionally, I might have been giving off a negative vibe because there was one point in time where I was heading up the stairs. There was a girl I didn't know behind me. She started slapping my ass saying "up up up up!" (she's trying to tell me to go up the stairs faster).
I turn around
Me: Woah, way to slap my ass like a million times! Why were you doing that?
Her: Cause I'm allowed to!
Me: No you're not! I'm not just a piece of meat for you to take advantage of! <---in The middle of me saying this, she said I'm sorry and left.
Anyways, I eventually sobered up enough that I could function again. Luckily, there were still a few hot girls left. I sat down next to one of them and she immediately opened me.
Her: Hi, my name is "Her name"
We have a short conversation during which I find out she has a BF. I walk around the party a little longer. Eventually, I spot a really cute Asian girl. Hottest one I've seen in a while. Still feeling that I might be too drunk and my fundamaentals might be a little bit off. So I wait to sober up a little more. In the meantime, I had another rather flirty convo with the girl who has BF. We also did some light kino via a thumb war I initiated. Her BF was literally like, 3 feet away though. So there wasn't much I can do.
Anyways, I finally decide to approach the Asian girl. Inititally, I wasn't sure how I was gonna do it. Cause she was sitting on a coach with like, 5 of her friends. As soon as I walk up, she excitedly says "Hey, what's your name!?"
Me: Hi I'm Bboy
Her: What happened to your arm (still in a sling).
Me: A lot of things
Her: Give me an example of something
Me: ....
We continue bantering back and fourth for a little. I also did a little bit of light kino. I interlaced my fingers with hers. We're still in front of all her friends. At this point, I guess one of her male orbiters got jealous or something. While I was still bantering with her, the convo was something along the lines of:
Me: I'm not even sure you exist. Let alone anything else.
Random Guy next to us: Yeah dude! She doesn't exiiiiist!!!!! He's literally yelling this in my ear. Neither she nor I had talked to him thus far. So I decided the simplest solution to this would be to not break circle and just completely ignore it.
Me: .... Continue talking to her.
Eventually, she gets up saying she'll be right back. I take her seat on the couch for a second. I then get up and start walking around. I run into her again
Her: [Grabs my forarm] You're not leaving are you?
Me: No. Why? Do you wanna leave with me?
Her: [I guess she only heard no because it was really loud] Ok, good. I don't like it when people leave.
Two things to note here:
1. Maybe I should have persisted till she acknowledged my pull. Whether via rejection or accepting my invitation. But letting it go completely ignored was probaly a bad idea.
2. I should have grabbed her fucking phone number. I completely spaced out. This was the only time she was away from her friends all throughout. It was the only ideal opportunity. I paid for this later on.
So, at this point, she's the only hot girl left at the party. She goes back and sits on the coach surrounded by her friends again. I'm feeling frustrated for not grabbing her number. So I decide to formulate a plan to extract it anyways. I go hang out in the general area where she's at and chat with random people. Ideally, I was hoping I would catch her in a moment where all her friends would be talking to one another and I could grab the number. No such luck. She seems to be the most popular person in their group by far.
Sensing that my plan isn't working, I start another conversation with her. Again, my reception is very warm. But then someone else grabs her attention away from me. Finally, she says that they're all leaving. So I decided...fuck discretion, I'll just ask her for her phone no. in front of everyone. I'm not lettin this one go without at least trying.
So as they're all getting up, I quickly lean in and in a low tone say
Me: We should hang out sometime [Already have the phone in my hand]
Her: Sure! [She types in her number]
Overall, an ok night. I wasn't as in state as yesterday. But I still managed to get at least a number off it. Also- still need to push for closes faster. I might have been able to pull her if I insisted harder, and there was CERTAINLY a much better opportunity to grab her number which I completely missed.
As a side note:
2 out of 4 of the girls I hang out with hooked up with random guys BOTH LAST NIGHT AND TONIGHT. None of said guys has any "game" at all. And keep in mind that one of them is in an LTR. So that really leave 2 out of 3 available women being slutty. I mean, I knew sex happened fast. But fuck, this opens eyes to a whole new level of what's possible.
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
This is just a copy & paste of dat dere LR-- from earlier this week.
On Tinder:
Me: Hey, my Netflix is broken, can I come over and use yours?
Her: Yes!
[Logistical texts]
I arrive at her place. She greets me in her underwear. She makes up some excuse for why we can't stay in the living room and we go directly to her bedroom. We immidietly get under the sheets and start cuddling. I chat with her for a few minutes just as a formality and try to kiss her. She kind of blocks it- That is to say, she starts out not reciprocating for like a second. Then she finally gives me a slight peck as I continue to kiss her. Then she pulls away.
She then starts giving me a bunch of shit tests. Which I feel like I passed. But she also directly mentioned that she didn't want to be kissed. I'm very confused given the context of this date. But in any case, I start out treating it like a normal date. I start doing standard bantering/deep diving stuff. The problem is, this chick is clearly psychologically fucked up. Anytime I ask her about anything at all, she manages to bring the conversation back to one of four things
-Her dead ex-bf whom she was very much in love with.
-How she doesn't really like men
-How she doesn't approve of casual hookups (given the context...wtf???)
-How she likes "nice guys" and her last two bfs were "douchebags turned nice". Also, she mentioned she likes "bashful guys who get nervous around her". Guys who she feels like she needs to chase down and make the first move on. She doesn't like guys who are super confident (I'm guessing her past experiences have put her in a temporary state of genuinely being tired of bad boys and just wanting someone "nice" who she feels secure around, and auto-rejecting anyone who she feels is higher value than her).
I try to thread cut all these conversations and move it onto something more productive. It doesn't work. She keeps circling back to these topics. This is made even more difficult by the fact that she's clearly going through some sort of trauma/grief over the dead BF thing. Also, she explicitly and shamelessly mentioned thatshe has no dreams/goals in life, and she's fine with that. She used to until her BF died. Additionally, she has no hobbies/passions other than partying.
What breaks my heart is that she's a really sweet girl. She seems to have just gotten fucked over in life.
Anyways...I also tried to escalate every once in a while. It was strange. She would let me (and has been letting me since the start),
1. Cuddle/grope her
2. Touch her breasts
But anytime I try to kiss her or touch her pussy, she did this really weird thing where she physically neither rejects nor accepts me advances. When I try to touch her pussy, she won't immediatly move my hand. She'll just say in a whiny/complainy voice "No" or "You need to be a gentleman" etc. I chose to ignore those comments. After this, she very meekly moves my hand away.
I rinsed and repeated several times. Try to deep dive/create some sort of rapport (not very successful given the lack of productive topics), then try to escalate. None of it worked. I remembered reading in one of Alek's articles that one way to overcome LMR is to shack with her then try again in the morning.
She changes her shirt in front of me (she wasn't wearing a bra) and we go to sleep.
The next morning, I try escalating again. Aware that she will probably put up resistance, I try using actual escalation ladders this time. It seemed to have some effect. The combination of playing with/sucking on her tits then slowly moving down to her pussy seemed to lighten up the resistance a little bit. In fact, I was even fingering her at one point. But she was protesting the whole time. And kind of/very weakly trying to move my hand away. Being that this girl is as fucked up as she is, I felt like she might easily let me have sex with her even if she doesn't want to. Which would be rape. With any other girl, I would have continued until I got a hard no. But in this case, I kinda felt like I might be crossing the line and going into rape territory. So I decided to concede. We get up, get dressed. She changes both her shirt and her underwear in front of me again.
We go upstairs. I tell her I have to go cause I have class in an hour. I hug her. For the first time after that, she initiated a kiss with me. She enthusiastically started making out with me. I pick her up and try to move her onto a nearby couch. But apparently, I was hurting her by picking her up (it was really awkward cause I mostly had to use one arm, the other is still recovering from surgery). This kind of killed the moment. So I left. She said she would text me after she got off work. She never did. Being that this is a failed escalation, I don't expect to see this girl again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Closing thoughts: This girl was really psychologically damaged. So I would have been very hesitant about going on a second date with her anyways. Additionally, I've come to realize that I'm having a very difficult time drawing the line between persisting past resistance when escalating, and straight up rape.
On Tinder:
Me: Hey, my Netflix is broken, can I come over and use yours?
Her: Yes!
[Logistical texts]
I arrive at her place. She greets me in her underwear. She makes up some excuse for why we can't stay in the living room and we go directly to her bedroom. We immidietly get under the sheets and start cuddling. I chat with her for a few minutes just as a formality and try to kiss her. She kind of blocks it- That is to say, she starts out not reciprocating for like a second. Then she finally gives me a slight peck as I continue to kiss her. Then she pulls away.
She then starts giving me a bunch of shit tests. Which I feel like I passed. But she also directly mentioned that she didn't want to be kissed. I'm very confused given the context of this date. But in any case, I start out treating it like a normal date. I start doing standard bantering/deep diving stuff. The problem is, this chick is clearly psychologically fucked up. Anytime I ask her about anything at all, she manages to bring the conversation back to one of four things
-Her dead ex-bf whom she was very much in love with.
-How she doesn't really like men
-How she doesn't approve of casual hookups (given the context...wtf???)
-How she likes "nice guys" and her last two bfs were "douchebags turned nice". Also, she mentioned she likes "bashful guys who get nervous around her". Guys who she feels like she needs to chase down and make the first move on. She doesn't like guys who are super confident (I'm guessing her past experiences have put her in a temporary state of genuinely being tired of bad boys and just wanting someone "nice" who she feels secure around, and auto-rejecting anyone who she feels is higher value than her).
I try to thread cut all these conversations and move it onto something more productive. It doesn't work. She keeps circling back to these topics. This is made even more difficult by the fact that she's clearly going through some sort of trauma/grief over the dead BF thing. Also, she explicitly and shamelessly mentioned thatshe has no dreams/goals in life, and she's fine with that. She used to until her BF died. Additionally, she has no hobbies/passions other than partying.
What breaks my heart is that she's a really sweet girl. She seems to have just gotten fucked over in life.
Anyways...I also tried to escalate every once in a while. It was strange. She would let me (and has been letting me since the start),
1. Cuddle/grope her
2. Touch her breasts
But anytime I try to kiss her or touch her pussy, she did this really weird thing where she physically neither rejects nor accepts me advances. When I try to touch her pussy, she won't immediatly move my hand. She'll just say in a whiny/complainy voice "No" or "You need to be a gentleman" etc. I chose to ignore those comments. After this, she very meekly moves my hand away.
I rinsed and repeated several times. Try to deep dive/create some sort of rapport (not very successful given the lack of productive topics), then try to escalate. None of it worked. I remembered reading in one of Alek's articles that one way to overcome LMR is to shack with her then try again in the morning.
She changes her shirt in front of me (she wasn't wearing a bra) and we go to sleep.
The next morning, I try escalating again. Aware that she will probably put up resistance, I try using actual escalation ladders this time. It seemed to have some effect. The combination of playing with/sucking on her tits then slowly moving down to her pussy seemed to lighten up the resistance a little bit. In fact, I was even fingering her at one point. But she was protesting the whole time. And kind of/very weakly trying to move my hand away. Being that this girl is as fucked up as she is, I felt like she might easily let me have sex with her even if she doesn't want to. Which would be rape. With any other girl, I would have continued until I got a hard no. But in this case, I kinda felt like I might be crossing the line and going into rape territory. So I decided to concede. We get up, get dressed. She changes both her shirt and her underwear in front of me again.
We go upstairs. I tell her I have to go cause I have class in an hour. I hug her. For the first time after that, she initiated a kiss with me. She enthusiastically started making out with me. I pick her up and try to move her onto a nearby couch. But apparently, I was hurting her by picking her up (it was really awkward cause I mostly had to use one arm, the other is still recovering from surgery). This kind of killed the moment. So I left. She said she would text me after she got off work. She never did. Being that this is a failed escalation, I don't expect to see this girl again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Closing thoughts: This girl was really psychologically damaged. So I would have been very hesitant about going on a second date with her anyways. Additionally, I've come to realize that I'm having a very difficult time drawing the line between persisting past resistance when escalating, and straight up rape.
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
Ok, so this was another Tinder date. First off, I was feeling like shit that day. I was really tired cause I got up early and I really wasn't down for the date. The girl wasn't that cute, and I had to drive to Seattle after to get my stitches out of my arm (cause I'm retarded and I keep needing surgery over and over again lol).
Anyways, I pick this chick up....and I got catfished. She didn't look different/present a different persona online per say. But her pics made her look a lot more glamorous than she really is. So there was 0 physical attraction. But w.e still went on a date. Cause I'm not just gonna be like "Well Peace bitch!".- I'm not enough of an asshole to do that.
Anyways...this chick was literally the most boring person ever. We go for coffee, and I guess the only thing of significance to her is her school assignments. Cause that's the only thing she really talked about. It felt like one of those almost interview style dates. Where I ask questions and relate. And she answers in a very monotonic voice....I swear, I had to suppress a yawn. lol.
Tbh, I thought I was doing a shitty job deep diving her. Cause there was no noticeable signs of interest on her part. Also I thought she just wasn't comfortable enough opening up about deeper topics with me. But as it turns out, she liked me. Cause like, 5 mins after the date, she sent me a text saying she really enjoyed our time to together. And that she'd like to see me again but she'd "totally understand if I wasn't feelin it". I kinda cringed at that text. lol.
Anyways, I pick this chick up....and I got catfished. She didn't look different/present a different persona online per say. But her pics made her look a lot more glamorous than she really is. So there was 0 physical attraction. But w.e still went on a date. Cause I'm not just gonna be like "Well Peace bitch!".- I'm not enough of an asshole to do that.
Anyways...this chick was literally the most boring person ever. We go for coffee, and I guess the only thing of significance to her is her school assignments. Cause that's the only thing she really talked about. It felt like one of those almost interview style dates. Where I ask questions and relate. And she answers in a very monotonic voice....I swear, I had to suppress a yawn. lol.
Tbh, I thought I was doing a shitty job deep diving her. Cause there was no noticeable signs of interest on her part. Also I thought she just wasn't comfortable enough opening up about deeper topics with me. But as it turns out, she liked me. Cause like, 5 mins after the date, she sent me a text saying she really enjoyed our time to together. And that she'd like to see me again but she'd "totally understand if I wasn't feelin it". I kinda cringed at that text. lol.
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- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
Ok, so quick recap of this weekend since I already wrote LRs which have some detail.
Friday: Tried to go to the Blue Mansion party, but it got shut down before we got there. After that, we walked around trying to invite people, to a party we were starting, but no one went for it cause our party house is all the way on South Campus. And we were on North campus. When we got back, I started hooking up with one of the house owners. She gave me a bj, and we did some other forplay. But we decided to stop cause it felt weird (we hang out/party together every weekend). As it turned out, it wasn't really that weird. When I saw her the next day, neither of us acknowledged it and everything was pretty normal. So if she tries to hook up with me again (will undoubtedly happen), I'd be ok with it.
Saturday:
During the day, I went on a Tinder date. Got fucking catfished again. This chick was a true land whale. My fault though for not looking at her photos more closely. I probably could have figured it out if I was more careful. She was very plain. Nothing about her was too exciting. I cut the date off after about 1.5 hours. Shitty thing is, I had to pick her up and drive her home. Felt kind of like a waste of two hours of my life. lol. I seriously need to figure out a system for finding out which girls look different IRL than in their profiles, cause this is just getting ridiculous at this point.
Since I already wrote an LR about the party I went to that night, I'll just summarize briefly: Started @ Elijah's house. We took shots. Found a party at one of the neighbors. Turned out that was Hannah's bday party. Based on the fact that she's not replying to my texts, but she still talking to me and trying to get me to party with her, it sounds like she's just trying to put me in an orbiter slot. So she's NEXTED. Other than that, I used Alek's Dance floor escalation series to hook up with this Stephanie. Pulled her to Elijah's house. This backfired hard because for some reason, Elijah went apeshit cause we were hooking up in her bathroom. The turn of events left Stephanie super embarrassed (see the LR). I feel super guilty about it. Prob not gonna text her though. She wasn't that cute so there's no point. I just wish I could make it up to her somehow. Cause that was just bad form/leadership on my part.
Also, arranged it with everyone in the house that in the future, its ok if I hook up with girls in the garage. But I they don't want me taking them anywhere else in the house. This is ok because the garage has a couch and no one ever goes in there.
Friday: Tried to go to the Blue Mansion party, but it got shut down before we got there. After that, we walked around trying to invite people, to a party we were starting, but no one went for it cause our party house is all the way on South Campus. And we were on North campus. When we got back, I started hooking up with one of the house owners. She gave me a bj, and we did some other forplay. But we decided to stop cause it felt weird (we hang out/party together every weekend). As it turned out, it wasn't really that weird. When I saw her the next day, neither of us acknowledged it and everything was pretty normal. So if she tries to hook up with me again (will undoubtedly happen), I'd be ok with it.
Saturday:
During the day, I went on a Tinder date. Got fucking catfished again. This chick was a true land whale. My fault though for not looking at her photos more closely. I probably could have figured it out if I was more careful. She was very plain. Nothing about her was too exciting. I cut the date off after about 1.5 hours. Shitty thing is, I had to pick her up and drive her home. Felt kind of like a waste of two hours of my life. lol. I seriously need to figure out a system for finding out which girls look different IRL than in their profiles, cause this is just getting ridiculous at this point.
Since I already wrote an LR about the party I went to that night, I'll just summarize briefly: Started @ Elijah's house. We took shots. Found a party at one of the neighbors. Turned out that was Hannah's bday party. Based on the fact that she's not replying to my texts, but she still talking to me and trying to get me to party with her, it sounds like she's just trying to put me in an orbiter slot. So she's NEXTED. Other than that, I used Alek's Dance floor escalation series to hook up with this Stephanie. Pulled her to Elijah's house. This backfired hard because for some reason, Elijah went apeshit cause we were hooking up in her bathroom. The turn of events left Stephanie super embarrassed (see the LR). I feel super guilty about it. Prob not gonna text her though. She wasn't that cute so there's no point. I just wish I could make it up to her somehow. Cause that was just bad form/leadership on my part.
Also, arranged it with everyone in the house that in the future, its ok if I hook up with girls in the garage. But I they don't want me taking them anywhere else in the house. This is ok because the garage has a couch and no one ever goes in there.
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
Ok, so yesterday, I went on my date with Jess. I really wasn't expecting much from her. I thought she would be just another random girl. Well..as I already posted, she fucking blew my standards straight out of the water. See: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=11801
So bad news is, its a failed escalation, so my chances of getting her back are slim to none. Good news is, the frustration it caused actually motivated me to get the phone number of a girl from my class today. So this is actually my first phone number via daygame. Ever.
I got lucky. She randomly decided to sit in front of me in class. At the start, I asked her to borrow a piece of paper. So this is compliance+an ice breaker. I noticed halfway through class that she had one of those really old flip phones. I decided I would open her by commenting on it. Unfortunately, if forget exactly what I said, but it worked as a great conversation starter. We bantered for a while, I asked her what she's doing after class. She said she was going on a huge grocery shopping spree with friends (lol?). Anyways...right as she was bidding me farewell, I asked her if she was down to hang out sometime. She said yes. I handed her my phone and she put in her number. She was wearing no makeup and was still super cute. Also, she had a very good energy about her. The same kind which I get from girls I'm most attracted to. I'm very satisfied with this.
Also, the whole failed escalation/obsession over this girl has taught me a lesson about myself. I don't even give a fuck about having sex with hot girls anymore. I don't really wanna get laid that badly. Frankly, party girls bore me. Don't get me wrong, casual sex is fun, but I feel like its almost not worth it anymore. I no longer need female attention as a source of validation. And just the raw feeling of sex, while good...is not in of itself worth the effort of going out to do night game.
At the same time though, I feel like seriously hunting for a relationship at this point in my life is kinda stupid. Because here I am...at a party school, for only another year. I've finally grounded myself in a good social circle, parties are great places to hone my game. After that, I feel like I'll probably move somewhere far away. And I'd ideally like to have a relationship which lasts longer than a year.
So I guess, I feel like on a logical level, practicing night game is my best option. Trying to hone fundamentals/game will probably be a much better way for me to prepare myself for life. Cause once I get out of college, the competition isn't gonna be a bunch of pussies anymore. There will be real men. I need to prepare for that.
Conversely, I've still never been in a relationship, and I feel like perhaps that would also be a great experience for me. It would probably make me into a better man. Additionally, given that I only get depressed/obsessive over relationship quality girls and no others, it seems like a relationship is what I truly want at this point in my life. So I'm unsure of what to do.
Moreover, even if I did go about trying to find a relationship quality girl, that would mean either
A. Doing daygame on campus. Not something I'm interested in doing.
B. Joining a bunch of clubs/events/social circles full of girls who don't party and trying to find a girl there. <----This one seems like my best option.
C. Hoping that one of these Tinder girls will finally match my standards (seems like that happens about once every 20 dates...not odds I want to deal with).
Finally...even if I did get a GF, if she doesn't party (a requirement if she even wants to be considered for the GF slot), I feel like we wouldn't be able to relate on too many levels. Because unfortunately, I feel like I myself have (as a byproduct of trying to learn game), become a "party boy" myself.
Overall, I feel pretty lost in terms of my love life and what direction I want it to go in atm.
So bad news is, its a failed escalation, so my chances of getting her back are slim to none. Good news is, the frustration it caused actually motivated me to get the phone number of a girl from my class today. So this is actually my first phone number via daygame. Ever.
I got lucky. She randomly decided to sit in front of me in class. At the start, I asked her to borrow a piece of paper. So this is compliance+an ice breaker. I noticed halfway through class that she had one of those really old flip phones. I decided I would open her by commenting on it. Unfortunately, if forget exactly what I said, but it worked as a great conversation starter. We bantered for a while, I asked her what she's doing after class. She said she was going on a huge grocery shopping spree with friends (lol?). Anyways...right as she was bidding me farewell, I asked her if she was down to hang out sometime. She said yes. I handed her my phone and she put in her number. She was wearing no makeup and was still super cute. Also, she had a very good energy about her. The same kind which I get from girls I'm most attracted to. I'm very satisfied with this.
Also, the whole failed escalation/obsession over this girl has taught me a lesson about myself. I don't even give a fuck about having sex with hot girls anymore. I don't really wanna get laid that badly. Frankly, party girls bore me. Don't get me wrong, casual sex is fun, but I feel like its almost not worth it anymore. I no longer need female attention as a source of validation. And just the raw feeling of sex, while good...is not in of itself worth the effort of going out to do night game.
At the same time though, I feel like seriously hunting for a relationship at this point in my life is kinda stupid. Because here I am...at a party school, for only another year. I've finally grounded myself in a good social circle, parties are great places to hone my game. After that, I feel like I'll probably move somewhere far away. And I'd ideally like to have a relationship which lasts longer than a year.
So I guess, I feel like on a logical level, practicing night game is my best option. Trying to hone fundamentals/game will probably be a much better way for me to prepare myself for life. Cause once I get out of college, the competition isn't gonna be a bunch of pussies anymore. There will be real men. I need to prepare for that.
Conversely, I've still never been in a relationship, and I feel like perhaps that would also be a great experience for me. It would probably make me into a better man. Additionally, given that I only get depressed/obsessive over relationship quality girls and no others, it seems like a relationship is what I truly want at this point in my life. So I'm unsure of what to do.
Moreover, even if I did go about trying to find a relationship quality girl, that would mean either
A. Doing daygame on campus. Not something I'm interested in doing.
B. Joining a bunch of clubs/events/social circles full of girls who don't party and trying to find a girl there. <----This one seems like my best option.
C. Hoping that one of these Tinder girls will finally match my standards (seems like that happens about once every 20 dates...not odds I want to deal with).
Finally...even if I did get a GF, if she doesn't party (a requirement if she even wants to be considered for the GF slot), I feel like we wouldn't be able to relate on too many levels. Because unfortunately, I feel like I myself have (as a byproduct of trying to learn game), become a "party boy" myself.
Overall, I feel pretty lost in terms of my love life and what direction I want it to go in atm.
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
Elijah, Jaryn, Kelsey and Alana hosted another party last night. Like last time, it was pretty dead. Not a lot of people showed up and the girls wern't too hot. Stayed there for about an hour. I chatted some girls up, but none of them were too interesting nor attractive to me. Also, Stephanie and Hannah showed up. Hannah ran up to me and hugged me like a little schoolgirl and Stephanie tried to hide/not let me see her. LOL. I guess she still thinks the fact that we hooked up the previous weekend is weird? Even though she already invited me to a party she's hosting tonight. ...I dunno. Don't really care though. This all happened right as I was leaving to go find another party.
Anyways...I drove around High St. Found a different party. Literally right as I was walking in, like 10 girls left. After that, the party was pretty much dead. Looked around for a little while longer. Seems like there were no other good parties. Cause there were literally people just on the streets the whole time. I did a little bit of nighttime street game with them. But nothing came of it.
I was thinking of going downtown, but I decided against it. Forgot my student ID, which means there would be a cover charge for me. Plus, it was about 12:00, which basically means its probably a complete sausage fest now. I went home. Not too exciting a night.
Anyways...I drove around High St. Found a different party. Literally right as I was walking in, like 10 girls left. After that, the party was pretty much dead. Looked around for a little while longer. Seems like there were no other good parties. Cause there were literally people just on the streets the whole time. I did a little bit of nighttime street game with them. But nothing came of it.
I was thinking of going downtown, but I decided against it. Forgot my student ID, which means there would be a cover charge for me. Plus, it was about 12:00, which basically means its probably a complete sausage fest now. I went home. Not too exciting a night.
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
So, my friends were being lame today..they didn't really wanna party. Instead, they opted to just chill with their neighbors. So I decided fuckit, I'm doing some nightgame stag. I drove downtown. First, I went to glow. It was dead as fuck. Then I went to another club. Also dead. Finally, I went to the Underground- a dance club. Lots of people there. I guess its the only spot in downtown which consistently has a large clientele.
Anyways, I get in. I try to do a couple dance floor escalations. I get a LOT of rejections. Also, this was my first time in a while going out sober. So I was faced with quite a bit of AA. After a while, I realized its not working for me, so I went out to a bar across the street. I randomly ran into a bunch of guys from my High School. I wasn't really that close with any of them (p.s. they're STILL all dating each other and no one else. Its like their playing round robin with mates in their social circle. LOL).
Anyways, I talk to one girl at the bar. Get a rejection. Its a small bar. She was the only attractive girl standing up. So I leave. I go back into "The Underground"
Finally, I meet a girl there. I introduce myself. We chat for a couple mins. I move her to the lounge area where its a lot quieter. We chat for a while longer. She keeps insisting that she has to leave to go see her friends. I keep persisting that she stays. She does. Eventually, she tells me "she's going to pee her pants if she doesn't go use the bathroom". I say "Ok, come pee at my place".
Her response was basically that she really wants to, but her friends are waiting for her and they'd be really concerned. I tell her I'll get her back there quick. She says "she'll think about it". I tell her "No, we're going now". She says that she really has to think about it because "in my culture, we can't just leave our friends like that when they're worrying. Its rude". I tell that she can. I promise her friends will be fine. She asks me to put in my phone and she'll texts me after she meets them. I decline telling her she has to make up her mind now. She decides to go with her friends. I bid her a good night. She says "if you want, come find me in a bit and maybe we can go"
I talk to one other girl, I decided to be kind of an asshole to her. I guess she didn't bite. Cause she shot me down when I requested her phone number. I also ended up dancing with this one other girl...she literally just walked up, put her arms on my shoulders and started grinding her hips against mine. I would've tried to pull her. Problem is, her friends were literally right in front of me. I couldn't figure out a way to isolate.
I run into the girl I tried to pull earlier in the night. I said "let's go". At this point, she had made a full 360 in her decision making (as is expected), and all of us sudden, she's telling me "she's not that kind of girl" (even though she literally said and I quote "I'm the adventurous type, so I kinda want to" earlier in the night. LOL)
I leave the club. As I walk out, I spot a cute blonde and open her. She seemed genuinely weirded/creeped out by me.
As a matter of fact, it seemed like most the girls felt the same way throughout the night. I could tell they felt awkward or weird around me for whatever reason. With further introspection, I realize that its my fundamentals. I usually use some sort of playful situational opener (ex. if a girl's standing by herself: "You look lonely"). The issue is that as I say that, I make really awkward/try hard hand gestures and my voice tone goes in pitch. Its the rapport-seeking type voice that we should never use. This is definitely something to pay attention to in the future.
Additionally, it seemed like girls downtown were a lot less friendly/open to talking with me than girls at parties. When I go to parties, girls will:
-Open me
-smile/giggle when I walk by
-instantly be attracted to me
-Seem much more open to chatting/interacting with me in general.
Whereas at the bars, I got mostly rejections and just straight up being ignored. The only other influencing factor is that I was sober. But I feel like that should help my fundamentals, not hinder them. Very puzzled as to why the contrast in reception is so huuge.
Anyways, I get in. I try to do a couple dance floor escalations. I get a LOT of rejections. Also, this was my first time in a while going out sober. So I was faced with quite a bit of AA. After a while, I realized its not working for me, so I went out to a bar across the street. I randomly ran into a bunch of guys from my High School. I wasn't really that close with any of them (p.s. they're STILL all dating each other and no one else. Its like their playing round robin with mates in their social circle. LOL).
Anyways, I talk to one girl at the bar. Get a rejection. Its a small bar. She was the only attractive girl standing up. So I leave. I go back into "The Underground"
Finally, I meet a girl there. I introduce myself. We chat for a couple mins. I move her to the lounge area where its a lot quieter. We chat for a while longer. She keeps insisting that she has to leave to go see her friends. I keep persisting that she stays. She does. Eventually, she tells me "she's going to pee her pants if she doesn't go use the bathroom". I say "Ok, come pee at my place".
Her response was basically that she really wants to, but her friends are waiting for her and they'd be really concerned. I tell her I'll get her back there quick. She says "she'll think about it". I tell her "No, we're going now". She says that she really has to think about it because "in my culture, we can't just leave our friends like that when they're worrying. Its rude". I tell that she can. I promise her friends will be fine. She asks me to put in my phone and she'll texts me after she meets them. I decline telling her she has to make up her mind now. She decides to go with her friends. I bid her a good night. She says "if you want, come find me in a bit and maybe we can go"
I talk to one other girl, I decided to be kind of an asshole to her. I guess she didn't bite. Cause she shot me down when I requested her phone number. I also ended up dancing with this one other girl...she literally just walked up, put her arms on my shoulders and started grinding her hips against mine. I would've tried to pull her. Problem is, her friends were literally right in front of me. I couldn't figure out a way to isolate.
I run into the girl I tried to pull earlier in the night. I said "let's go". At this point, she had made a full 360 in her decision making (as is expected), and all of us sudden, she's telling me "she's not that kind of girl" (even though she literally said and I quote "I'm the adventurous type, so I kinda want to" earlier in the night. LOL)
I leave the club. As I walk out, I spot a cute blonde and open her. She seemed genuinely weirded/creeped out by me.
As a matter of fact, it seemed like most the girls felt the same way throughout the night. I could tell they felt awkward or weird around me for whatever reason. With further introspection, I realize that its my fundamentals. I usually use some sort of playful situational opener (ex. if a girl's standing by herself: "You look lonely"). The issue is that as I say that, I make really awkward/try hard hand gestures and my voice tone goes in pitch. Its the rapport-seeking type voice that we should never use. This is definitely something to pay attention to in the future.
Additionally, it seemed like girls downtown were a lot less friendly/open to talking with me than girls at parties. When I go to parties, girls will:
-Open me
-smile/giggle when I walk by
-instantly be attracted to me
-Seem much more open to chatting/interacting with me in general.
Whereas at the bars, I got mostly rejections and just straight up being ignored. The only other influencing factor is that I was sober. But I feel like that should help my fundamentals, not hinder them. Very puzzled as to why the contrast in reception is so huuge.
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
Tinder date today. Was with a girl who seemed pretty damaged. Apparently, she has 12 siblings, and she stopped living with her parents when she as 16. So that story kinda tells itself. She was nice though.
But she wasn't very talkative. I basically had to ask her questions the whole time in order to keep a conversation going. We started out getting coffee. we chatted for a while. I asked her to take a walk in the paark with me (the coffee shop is in a park). We walked to the end of it and sat down on the bench. I cuddled up against her. Again, it was really hard to keep the conversation going. Frankly, she was a pretty boring person. But somehow, I managed to do it. Eventually, I tried to kiss her. At first, she gave me the cheek. So I manhandle kissed her. She was ok with it. After a while longer, I picked her up into my lap. We chatted for a while. Eventually, I started shivering cause it was super cold. She asked me if I wanted to go. I said "yeah, lets go back to my place". She agreed.
On the way, we bought beer. She asked me if I have Netflix. When we arrived, I used Drex's Straight to Sex system. I gave her a tour of my place which ended in the bedroom. I left her there for a while and let her get comfy as I took a piss and texted my roommate not to come home yet.
I go back to my room. I start making out with her. I start using the system Drex outlined in his book for escalation. I started kissing her lips, neck, earlobes, etc. She started moaning and pulling me in. I start going down to kiss the bra line on her shirt. She pushes my head away. I go back up to the face and start the escalation over again. I managed to get underneath her bra the second time (i.e. I moved the cups off her breasts). Unfortunately, she didn't let me actually take it off. She just let me move it. Then she moved it back on breasts. From then on out, she always gave me more resistance to the bra coming off.
I try to escalate 5 or 6 more times. No go. I try stopping and just cuddling for a while. No go. I try actually watching Netflix with her (we literally watched two episodes of HIMYM in my bed), then I escalated again. Still, she doesn't allow me to. I try the hard push. She says no.
Finally, I try something different. She was massaging my dick through my pants earlier on. So it seemed like maybe she was ok with touching me. So I take off my pants and put her hand on my dick. She massages it for a couple seconds and takes her hand off. So then I take her hand and try to put it physically inside my underwear. She resists. Finally, she asks me to take her home. I say ok.
I drive her home. We're on good terms. She said she was glad she met me etc. etc. She also said that she's sorry for being such a disappointment and she's "usually a lot more crazy, but she just feels tired". I tell her its ok, and that I still appreciated the time we spent together.
Additionally, she was telling me/using as an excuse the entire time that she was on her period. I dunno if this was actually the case. But she stood pretty firmly by it. Also, she seemed ok with kissing me, but she wasn't ok with using tongue. Was very strange to me.
In any case, this girl was nothing special. Don't really care if I see her again. I'll text her in a week to see if she wants to do an easy date. If she doesn't bite, I'll move on.
But she wasn't very talkative. I basically had to ask her questions the whole time in order to keep a conversation going. We started out getting coffee. we chatted for a while. I asked her to take a walk in the paark with me (the coffee shop is in a park). We walked to the end of it and sat down on the bench. I cuddled up against her. Again, it was really hard to keep the conversation going. Frankly, she was a pretty boring person. But somehow, I managed to do it. Eventually, I tried to kiss her. At first, she gave me the cheek. So I manhandle kissed her. She was ok with it. After a while longer, I picked her up into my lap. We chatted for a while. Eventually, I started shivering cause it was super cold. She asked me if I wanted to go. I said "yeah, lets go back to my place". She agreed.
On the way, we bought beer. She asked me if I have Netflix. When we arrived, I used Drex's Straight to Sex system. I gave her a tour of my place which ended in the bedroom. I left her there for a while and let her get comfy as I took a piss and texted my roommate not to come home yet.
I go back to my room. I start making out with her. I start using the system Drex outlined in his book for escalation. I started kissing her lips, neck, earlobes, etc. She started moaning and pulling me in. I start going down to kiss the bra line on her shirt. She pushes my head away. I go back up to the face and start the escalation over again. I managed to get underneath her bra the second time (i.e. I moved the cups off her breasts). Unfortunately, she didn't let me actually take it off. She just let me move it. Then she moved it back on breasts. From then on out, she always gave me more resistance to the bra coming off.
I try to escalate 5 or 6 more times. No go. I try stopping and just cuddling for a while. No go. I try actually watching Netflix with her (we literally watched two episodes of HIMYM in my bed), then I escalated again. Still, she doesn't allow me to. I try the hard push. She says no.
Finally, I try something different. She was massaging my dick through my pants earlier on. So it seemed like maybe she was ok with touching me. So I take off my pants and put her hand on my dick. She massages it for a couple seconds and takes her hand off. So then I take her hand and try to put it physically inside my underwear. She resists. Finally, she asks me to take her home. I say ok.
I drive her home. We're on good terms. She said she was glad she met me etc. etc. She also said that she's sorry for being such a disappointment and she's "usually a lot more crazy, but she just feels tired". I tell her its ok, and that I still appreciated the time we spent together.
Additionally, she was telling me/using as an excuse the entire time that she was on her period. I dunno if this was actually the case. But she stood pretty firmly by it. Also, she seemed ok with kissing me, but she wasn't ok with using tongue. Was very strange to me.
In any case, this girl was nothing special. Don't really care if I see her again. I'll text her in a week to see if she wants to do an easy date. If she doesn't bite, I'll move on.
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
Another Tinder date today. This girl was a little bit tougher than most the girls I meet. She was very composed, and kind of intense. Wasn't very easy to make her laugh. Also, unlike most girls, she actually ignored some of my comments- she pretended I didn't say certain things (when I said something she didn't like...usually a witty remark she didn't understand or just didn't find funny). It also took a lot longer than usual to get her feeling at ease/getting her to open up to me. But after deep diving her for a while, she opened up. I'm actually pretty proud of myself for this one. Cause mere months ago, a girl like this would have scared the shit out of me, and i would have stumbled over my words and acted super nervous/creepy. This time, I kept my composure, and eventually, she started to feel at ease with me.
She was very intelligent, but also very nerdy. Despite her composure, there wasn't really much I liked about her. She was ok looking at best, She didn't really have anything too fascinating to say, and she displayed 0 interest in me. She asked me a few questions at the start, but she pretty much talked only about herself the rest of the time. This is good in terms of seduction, but at the same time, her lack of curiosity for the person she's on a date is questionable. At any rate, we had coffee for a while, and as per usual, I asked her to take a walk in the park with me.
We walked and talked for a while. Right as we reached the bench on which I'd usually sit and snuggle up against her, I realize its completely wet because its been raining all day. Unfortunately, this kind of kills my game plan, because I mostly create ST through touch. So instead, we walked back to my car and parted ways.
I feel like I should have kissed her. I wasn't too particularly excited about this girl, but the fact that I was anxious about trying it meant I should have. So I think that's something I need to work on- making a move on a girl even if it feels awkward/unsmooth. I have the same issue with the approach as well. If a girl isn't close to me, and I don't have anything in particular to talk about, chatting with her becomes a challenge for me.
In any case, I don't intends to see this girl again. She wasn't really my type at all.
She was very intelligent, but also very nerdy. Despite her composure, there wasn't really much I liked about her. She was ok looking at best, She didn't really have anything too fascinating to say, and she displayed 0 interest in me. She asked me a few questions at the start, but she pretty much talked only about herself the rest of the time. This is good in terms of seduction, but at the same time, her lack of curiosity for the person she's on a date is questionable. At any rate, we had coffee for a while, and as per usual, I asked her to take a walk in the park with me.
We walked and talked for a while. Right as we reached the bench on which I'd usually sit and snuggle up against her, I realize its completely wet because its been raining all day. Unfortunately, this kind of kills my game plan, because I mostly create ST through touch. So instead, we walked back to my car and parted ways.
I feel like I should have kissed her. I wasn't too particularly excited about this girl, but the fact that I was anxious about trying it meant I should have. So I think that's something I need to work on- making a move on a girl even if it feels awkward/unsmooth. I have the same issue with the approach as well. If a girl isn't close to me, and I don't have anything in particular to talk about, chatting with her becomes a challenge for me.
In any case, I don't intends to see this girl again. She wasn't really my type at all.
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
I went on my date with Hannah today. This was my first ever social circle(ish) date. In fact, it was my first ever non-Tinder date. Anyways, I might have messed up. Not really sure. She's a very extroverted girl. One of those people who's friends with literally everyone. Just in that coffee shop, we met like, 5 or 6 people she knew within the hour we were together. Due to this extroversion, she was naturally a very curious person. So she actually ended up deep diving me. And the conversation was so fun in the moment, that I forgot to keep my intrigue, and I ended up just going on and on talking about myself. I deep dove her a little bit, but I certainly ended up doing more talking than she did. Having said that, I was still making jokes at her expense, and I did a few chase frames, and she accepted said frames. So i think I still set myself up as being higher status than her. so maybe I'm still ok. Plus, it was social circle- a much more forgiving atmosphere than what I'm used to.
Also, given our busy schedules, ( had class in an hour, and she had shit to do later in the day), we ended up having just an informational date. So there as no pull, not much physical escalation, and the location was different from what I'm used to. I'm a little bit concerned that I killed all the sexual tension by making her laugh too much (we were literally both laughing like, 80-90% of the time). So she might see me as just a friend, and not as a sexual prospect.
Conclusively, I'll try to follow up and set up another date with her. Although I'm not sure if I should do another informational date. This time, it'll be in a place where I can do some physical escalation. Or if I should ask her directly to do an easy date (I should really learn to cook...would make easy dates 10x easier to suggest. lol).
Also, my friends where randomly there. I later talked to her (one of my friends) about what she saw, and she said that she noted that my eye contact seemed very intense. Having said that, Hannah didn't seem at all intimidated or tense/uncomfortable because of it, so I think this is the good kind of intense (high status behavior) not the bad kind (intimidating behavior).
Also, given our busy schedules, ( had class in an hour, and she had shit to do later in the day), we ended up having just an informational date. So there as no pull, not much physical escalation, and the location was different from what I'm used to. I'm a little bit concerned that I killed all the sexual tension by making her laugh too much (we were literally both laughing like, 80-90% of the time). So she might see me as just a friend, and not as a sexual prospect.
Conclusively, I'll try to follow up and set up another date with her. Although I'm not sure if I should do another informational date. This time, it'll be in a place where I can do some physical escalation. Or if I should ask her directly to do an easy date (I should really learn to cook...would make easy dates 10x easier to suggest. lol).
Also, my friends where randomly there. I later talked to her (one of my friends) about what she saw, and she said that she noted that my eye contact seemed very intense. Having said that, Hannah didn't seem at all intimidated or tense/uncomfortable because of it, so I think this is the good kind of intense (high status behavior) not the bad kind (intimidating behavior).
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
First party I went to today, there were some hot girls. I talked to quite a few of them. One of them was about to give me her number, but then as I was pulling out my phone, she got distracted and went off to talk to someone else(wtf...). Anyways, I find her later and tell her she forgot to put it in. Instantly, her friend comes in:
Her: No,no,no,no [As she stands between the girl of interest and I]
Me: [Trying to defuse the situation] Why not? Are you her girlfriend?
Her: continues to push me away [I leave the conversation]
I go around talking to some more people. Not much success. I start talking to a completely different girl from the one described again. This same cockblock comes in
Her: Stop it. You're bothering my friends.
Me: How am I bothering them?
Her: You're asking for their phone numbers
Me: So...I'm at a party, that's pretty normal. Besides, that doesn't mean you have to be a fucking bitch. <---I actually got pretty upset here. I feel like that's due to alcohol. I normally wouldn't lose my cool like this.
Her: Yeah, it does.
Me: Ok, please leave me alone you fucking cunt. I was never talking to you and I never wanted to. Goodbye [I walk away]
I go up stairs to chill out for a while. I sit on a coach. A girl in leather pants stands in front of me. I start chatting her up teasing her, telling her my ass would look way better in leather pants than hers. We chat for a while. I grab her phone number. We leave the party.
Next party we got to is actually one hosted by one of the girls I already fucked. It was pretty poppin. I talked to a few girls. Sadly, nothing came of any of it. I also ran into Hannah there (naturally). Given that she's FZ'd me, I've decided I have no interest in talking to her anymore. So I largely ignore her. Eventually, we run into each other.
Her: Hi!
Me: Hey, whatsup.
Her: How are you!
Me: I'm reaaally drunk.
Her: Its crazy that we always end up at the same parties
Me: [Some strange response...I couldn't really keep up basic conversation skills cause of how drunk I was]
Her: Stop following me (in reference to the fact that we always end up at the same party). <----Not sure if she meant this as a joke or if she was being serious.
We leave. The next hour was just me, Elana and Jazz just walking around for like an hour trying to find a bus stop. We eventually find one and go home.
Takeaways:
Even though I tried to cut down on the drinking (only had 3 drinks), it still seems to be getting in the way of my game and my ability to function properly. Tomorrow, I'll cut down to two.
My vibe is off. I've been feeling very anxious as of late. Even though the words that I say (i.e. my "game") are good, I feel like the energy I'm projecting is terrible. I don't know why. I'll be seeing a therapist soon. I dunno...I feel like perhaps all these rejections and failed escalations are finally getting to my head. I'm starting to feel a little worn down by going on so many dates and never seeing the girls again. It also might be the whether. I feel like I may have seasonal-depressive disorder. Something I certainly intend to look into.
Additionally, I have far fewer matches on Tinder now because I'm in a small town. I can only get one date per week off Tinder if that. I've kind of accustomed to having 2-3 dates per week. As a result, I feel like I "need" to get phone numbers at these parties. So perhaps I'm also putting out a little bit of a desperate vibe.
Her: No,no,no,no [As she stands between the girl of interest and I]
Me: [Trying to defuse the situation] Why not? Are you her girlfriend?
Her: continues to push me away [I leave the conversation]
I go around talking to some more people. Not much success. I start talking to a completely different girl from the one described again. This same cockblock comes in
Her: Stop it. You're bothering my friends.
Me: How am I bothering them?
Her: You're asking for their phone numbers
Me: So...I'm at a party, that's pretty normal. Besides, that doesn't mean you have to be a fucking bitch. <---I actually got pretty upset here. I feel like that's due to alcohol. I normally wouldn't lose my cool like this.
Her: Yeah, it does.
Me: Ok, please leave me alone you fucking cunt. I was never talking to you and I never wanted to. Goodbye [I walk away]
I go up stairs to chill out for a while. I sit on a coach. A girl in leather pants stands in front of me. I start chatting her up teasing her, telling her my ass would look way better in leather pants than hers. We chat for a while. I grab her phone number. We leave the party.
Next party we got to is actually one hosted by one of the girls I already fucked. It was pretty poppin. I talked to a few girls. Sadly, nothing came of any of it. I also ran into Hannah there (naturally). Given that she's FZ'd me, I've decided I have no interest in talking to her anymore. So I largely ignore her. Eventually, we run into each other.
Her: Hi!
Me: Hey, whatsup.
Her: How are you!
Me: I'm reaaally drunk.
Her: Its crazy that we always end up at the same parties
Me: [Some strange response...I couldn't really keep up basic conversation skills cause of how drunk I was]
Her: Stop following me (in reference to the fact that we always end up at the same party). <----Not sure if she meant this as a joke or if she was being serious.
We leave. The next hour was just me, Elana and Jazz just walking around for like an hour trying to find a bus stop. We eventually find one and go home.
Takeaways:
Even though I tried to cut down on the drinking (only had 3 drinks), it still seems to be getting in the way of my game and my ability to function properly. Tomorrow, I'll cut down to two.
My vibe is off. I've been feeling very anxious as of late. Even though the words that I say (i.e. my "game") are good, I feel like the energy I'm projecting is terrible. I don't know why. I'll be seeing a therapist soon. I dunno...I feel like perhaps all these rejections and failed escalations are finally getting to my head. I'm starting to feel a little worn down by going on so many dates and never seeing the girls again. It also might be the whether. I feel like I may have seasonal-depressive disorder. Something I certainly intend to look into.
Additionally, I have far fewer matches on Tinder now because I'm in a small town. I can only get one date per week off Tinder if that. I've kind of accustomed to having 2-3 dates per week. As a result, I feel like I "need" to get phone numbers at these parties. So perhaps I'm also putting out a little bit of a desperate vibe.
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
Tinder date today. The girl was pretty cute. She had a very confident exterior and was a little arrogant. She was kind of like me. Except not on the same level (in fact, she even said "I feel like you're exactly like me except amplified"). I would say this is true. We did some standard deep diving+bantering and chase framing. It was fun. The only thing worthy of note is that this time, I included sexual framing.
At one point, I gave the whole speech about how I think women are sexually repressed, and how I view sexual promiscuity in a positive light and how I think "sluts" are actually girls who are challenging society's norms and so fourth. Unfortunately, she didn't buy into this frame. Instead, she came up with a few (weak) arguments for why this is not the case. We debated on the topic. Ultimately, neither of us accepted the other person's frame. This is when I knew pulling her tonight would be pointless. Given that she was sticking to the concept of "casual sex is bad", there's no way she would have accepted an invitation to go home with her. And even if she did, I would have ran into a wall of resistance.
Other than that, the only things worthy of note were that I kissed her (lightly) halfway through the date. And again at the end. Contrary to all my other dates, I did not go into full "makeout mode" with her. I'm hoping this prevented the usual scenario of "failed escalation", and I manage to get a second date with her.
At one point, I gave the whole speech about how I think women are sexually repressed, and how I view sexual promiscuity in a positive light and how I think "sluts" are actually girls who are challenging society's norms and so fourth. Unfortunately, she didn't buy into this frame. Instead, she came up with a few (weak) arguments for why this is not the case. We debated on the topic. Ultimately, neither of us accepted the other person's frame. This is when I knew pulling her tonight would be pointless. Given that she was sticking to the concept of "casual sex is bad", there's no way she would have accepted an invitation to go home with her. And even if she did, I would have ran into a wall of resistance.
Other than that, the only things worthy of note were that I kissed her (lightly) halfway through the date. And again at the end. Contrary to all my other dates, I did not go into full "makeout mode" with her. I'm hoping this prevented the usual scenario of "failed escalation", and I manage to get a second date with her.
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2015
- Messages
- 430
Bboy,
First I am glad that you didn't feel auto rejected. If you were are not doesn't matter. Your attitude is better a little. When you start going into the dates thinking I am going to win instead of loss you changes will increase greatly. The girls can read this and will react in kind.
Second, quit talking so much. Instead lead the conversation by asking questions. You talked yourself right out of some pussy. Sex talk should not be logical. She is not logical. She is emotional. Sex talk should be ramping up. Start out with light banter then work your way up. Go in and out of the sex talk. For example
Her: I like to lay on the couch when I watch a movie.
Me: I have a couple favorite position (sexy smile). Lying on the couch is one also. What is your favorite movie.
Her: I like the Notebook. (Of course)
Me: I am into Fast and Furious and Mission Impossible. Occasionally I will watch a chick flick if it is with a good girl.
Her: So you like the action movies.
Me: Yeah I am an action kind person.
Her: Really!
Me: Yeah, come over to my place and we will watch an action movie or if you're a good girl we can watch a chick flick.
Her: But I am a good girl.
Me: You will have to show me how good you can be. Of course if you bad I will have to spank you.
I know it sounds cheesy but if she likes you it will ramp her up. This is the kind of emotional talk that gets girls going. The logical arguments has the exact opposite effect.
Third, this is a Tinder date. I would go in with the expectation that she is considering sex. Even though you should always have the logistics set up to pull her back to your place or somewhere, it is especially true on a Tinder date.
Go on your dates with the mindset that it will end in sex. Not that you hope it does or might. I know it is hard to change your mindset. We all have our issues. You are making good progress. On day some you will see a complete change in yourself and the old issues will be gone.
BDSC
First I am glad that you didn't feel auto rejected. If you were are not doesn't matter. Your attitude is better a little. When you start going into the dates thinking I am going to win instead of loss you changes will increase greatly. The girls can read this and will react in kind.
Second, quit talking so much. Instead lead the conversation by asking questions. You talked yourself right out of some pussy. Sex talk should not be logical. She is not logical. She is emotional. Sex talk should be ramping up. Start out with light banter then work your way up. Go in and out of the sex talk. For example
Her: I like to lay on the couch when I watch a movie.
Me: I have a couple favorite position (sexy smile). Lying on the couch is one also. What is your favorite movie.
Her: I like the Notebook. (Of course)
Me: I am into Fast and Furious and Mission Impossible. Occasionally I will watch a chick flick if it is with a good girl.
Her: So you like the action movies.
Me: Yeah I am an action kind person.
Her: Really!
Me: Yeah, come over to my place and we will watch an action movie or if you're a good girl we can watch a chick flick.
Her: But I am a good girl.
Me: You will have to show me how good you can be. Of course if you bad I will have to spank you.
I know it sounds cheesy but if she likes you it will ramp her up. This is the kind of emotional talk that gets girls going. The logical arguments has the exact opposite effect.
Third, this is a Tinder date. I would go in with the expectation that she is considering sex. Even though you should always have the logistics set up to pull her back to your place or somewhere, it is especially true on a Tinder date.
Go on your dates with the mindset that it will end in sex. Not that you hope it does or might. I know it is hard to change your mindset. We all have our issues. You are making good progress. On day some you will see a complete change in yourself and the old issues will be gone.
BDSC
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2014
- Messages
- 1,982
Hey Bboy mate I am sorry to hear you are doing it tough. That party and cockblock in particular sounds like a rough situation and I suppose anyone might feel a bit down. Yes, certainly cut down on the alcohol. What you described as 3 drinks was probably a lot more, for instance a bottle of beer here is 1.4 standard drinks and 3 of them in an hour will put you on a BAC of 0.042 which is pretty drunk, admittedly this is still legal to drive (unless you are unlucky and do exceed 0.05), but it will certainly affect your coordination and your game. Case in point, the cockblock: You were too apologetic (by justifying your behaviour as normal you accepted her frame) and you gave her the initiative (in asking what's wrong) when you could have taken the initiative and trodden on her hard. I just searched out a link from my journal demonstrating how to deal with cockblocks, here. As a supreme fallback that will always rescue you in these kinds of situations, remember that all girls are secretly terrified that they look fat. So in this case you could have laughed and said "sure, if you weren't so fat I would've asked for your number too", guaranteed she'll be so angry she'll lose control and make a dick of herself and you'll just be smirking and either calmly pointing out that she's not making sense, or just stoking the flames for amusement purposes. In the process you'll be building a lot of attraction from your girl who will LOVE to see the alpha of her group lose her cool, and you be a dominant mofo.
As to the rest of it, I honestly can't understand what you mean about too much rejection causing you to be depressed and lose confidence, to me, learning how a high value man handles rejection was like the biggest epiphany of all time "Uhh... dude you didn't ask anyone to the yr12 dance (the "senior prom" in US English) b/c you were worried they'd say no? Dude what were you thinking... what was the worst that could have happened? At worst they say no and you can't go to the dance, big deal, you ended up not going anyway... your problem is you thought if they said no it'd mean you had no sexual value and you were scared of having no sexual value, that's just ridiculous cos it's only TO THAT PARTICULAR GIRL you didn't have value, or more correctly she cpuld not access your value because it was not shown to her". I guess I racked up hundreds or thousands of rejections in my first 3~6 months of hard grinding and after the first 3 or 4 I hardly noticed to be honest. All I knew was that I was putting myself out there and success would come with practice and I was no worse off than when I didn't have GC and hardly ever made a move on girls for fear of rejection. I always thought you had a really great attitude so I am sure you can get your head around this without difficulty. Sasha Daygame suggests ego smashing exercises where you basically engage in complely dickish or unacceptable behaviour in a public place causing everyone to reject the fuck out of you, and you discover that not only are there basically no consequences but you feel empowered that you do not need the approval of those who have not yet earned your respect. This may be extreme but you get the general idea I am sure.
Ray
As to the rest of it, I honestly can't understand what you mean about too much rejection causing you to be depressed and lose confidence, to me, learning how a high value man handles rejection was like the biggest epiphany of all time "Uhh... dude you didn't ask anyone to the yr12 dance (the "senior prom" in US English) b/c you were worried they'd say no? Dude what were you thinking... what was the worst that could have happened? At worst they say no and you can't go to the dance, big deal, you ended up not going anyway... your problem is you thought if they said no it'd mean you had no sexual value and you were scared of having no sexual value, that's just ridiculous cos it's only TO THAT PARTICULAR GIRL you didn't have value, or more correctly she cpuld not access your value because it was not shown to her". I guess I racked up hundreds or thousands of rejections in my first 3~6 months of hard grinding and after the first 3 or 4 I hardly noticed to be honest. All I knew was that I was putting myself out there and success would come with practice and I was no worse off than when I didn't have GC and hardly ever made a move on girls for fear of rejection. I always thought you had a really great attitude so I am sure you can get your head around this without difficulty. Sasha Daygame suggests ego smashing exercises where you basically engage in complely dickish or unacceptable behaviour in a public place causing everyone to reject the fuck out of you, and you discover that not only are there basically no consequences but you feel empowered that you do not need the approval of those who have not yet earned your respect. This may be extreme but you get the general idea I am sure.
Ray
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
BigDaddy,
You might be right about the sex talk thing. I was a little skeptical of doing this myself. But I decided to try it out because there is material on this site directly linked to logically setting sexual frames See: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-u ... turn-women
Ray,
At any rate, most of what is related to seduction has to do with the frustration of losing the girl at the exact same point in the process every time (i.e. I've lost 11 girls in the last 3 months to LMR). It's not so much the rejections I get from random girls I haven't met yet. Those aren't important. It's the dates I go on and all the relatively hard work I put in and achieve nothing tangible.
Having said all that, I feel like I'm getting a handle on myself again. I mightve just had a couple bad days at the time I wrote this (I had just recently lost a girl who I really really liked to LMR).
You might be right about the sex talk thing. I was a little skeptical of doing this myself. But I decided to try it out because there is material on this site directly linked to logically setting sexual frames See: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-u ... turn-women
Ray,
Good call. Yeah, I could see how that might be useful in extreme cases like this one- where the girl is being physically pushy/trying to physically block you from talking to the girl of interest. Conversely, if all they're doing is talking to me and telling me to "go away" or otherwise trying to tool me, I usually just pretend they don't exist and just continue talking to the girl of interest. lol. Actually had an instance somewhat similar to that in this journal. I don't know how to link it though. haha
After taking a break for a few days, I feel like I'm doing a little bit better. I'm starting to think that a lot of it might be unrelated to pickup. I can't live the active lifestyle I usually have cause of an arm that's healing from surgery atm. So a lot of the things I usually do with my time are off limits. This leaves me kinda stuck in my apartment doing nothing for a good portion of the day. lol. Not to mention I feel extremely pudgy/out of shape- which in of itself, lowers confidence.
At any rate, most of what is related to seduction has to do with the frustration of losing the girl at the exact same point in the process every time (i.e. I've lost 11 girls in the last 3 months to LMR). It's not so much the rejections I get from random girls I haven't met yet. Those aren't important. It's the dates I go on and all the relatively hard work I put in and achieve nothing tangible.
Having said all that, I feel like I'm getting a handle on myself again. I mightve just had a couple bad days at the time I wrote this (I had just recently lost a girl who I really really liked to LMR).
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2014
- Messages
- 1,982
Ahh dude dude missed window etc really hurts. But I can only see positives here, you have a process which is reliable up to point X and needs troubleshooting to get you to point Y. It's gotta be a comfort issue. Seppuku was writing about this recently. Radeng's also big on comfort. Anyway, never give up (in the overall sense and in the sense of LMR during a date). Escalate, back off, build comfort & repeat. It can't be a big issue if she's isolating.
Ray
Ray