Socializing Become Relatable

Just_Dave

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 21, 2012
Messages
529
People really enjoy people who just "get them", this goes along with not being judgmental. That's just one piece of the puzzle, to grasp the whole picture you need to share experiences to "cement" the bond you created with the person (girl or guy). Say what needs to be said, and go back to listening. You don't have to be an expert at all, I'm an engineer/ business student who's worked in retail. However, I'm still able to find common ground with a pharmacy student from the middle of nowhere who's never worked a day in their life.

A wise man once told me, "Every time you open your mouth you put yourself at risk."

Make sure whatever you say falls on "receptive ears".

Just Dave
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
3,955
Hey Dave,

Solid post. Being relatable is super important to make progress in your conversations and interactions.

Just to add a bit and flesh this one out some more -

The 2 chief ways of being relatable:

  • Share a story or insightful comment
  • Ask an insightful question

So, someone starts talking to you about painting. Maybe you don't know much about painting, but you know there are different materials used and different canvases. So you ask, "What kind of medium do you use?" and, "What's your typical subject matter?"

Or, someone talks about medical school being tough, and you say, "Well, just wait until you hit residency...! At least, that's what I hear from my doctor friends."

Somebody tells you about working as a fashion model: "No way... print or runway?"

One other piece on relating: you can add a lot of punch to your relating if you wait to relate. A lot of folks are quick off the gun to relate their relatable story to someone, but if you're patient, ask them things, let them tell you things, and don't drop it on them until later that story you thought of at first, you come across like a very interesting fellow, who's more interested in her than he is in rushing a connection... strong stuff, properly served.

Chase
 

Just_Dave

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 21, 2012
Messages
529
Chase said:
Hey Dave,

Solid post. Being relatable is super important to make progress in your conversations and interactions.

Just to add a bit and flesh this one out some more -

The 2 chief ways of being relatable:

  • Share a story or insightful comment
  • Ask an insightful question

So, someone starts talking to you about painting. Maybe you don't know much about painting, but you know there are different materials used and different canvases. So you ask, "What kind of medium do you use?" and, "What's your typical subject matter?"

Or, someone talks about medical school being tough, and you say, "Well, just wait until you hit residency...! At least, that's what I hear from my doctor friends."

Somebody tells you about working as a fashion model: "No way... print or runway?"

One other piece on relating: you can add a lot of punch to your relating if you wait to relate. A lot of folks are quick off the gun to relate their relatable story to someone, but if you're patient, ask them things, let them tell you things, and don't drop it on them until later that story you thought of at first, you come across like a very interesting fellow, who's more interested in her than he is in rushing a connection... strong stuff, properly served.

Chase

Thanks for the feedback Chase, I'll be sure to keep all this is mind while I'm out and about.

Dave
 

DigitalStef

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 22, 2012
Messages
69
Even if it is something you have no idea about sometimes you can just get by doing a little parroting till something comes up that you can grasp.

If you don't know what i mean by parroting it is simply taking the last thing person say and saying it back to them as a question.
Ex:
You: "hey man i just rebuilt my old chevy.

Me: "Your chevy?"

You: "Yah, i stripped out most of the interior and replaced it with leather."

I use this technique all the time to get more detail from my friends so i can make a more impacting statement if I don't know as much about the topic.
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Another good method of becoming more relatable for any given culture group is to understand their buzzwords and metaphors.
People respond better to questions that make use of the insider terms. A girl in fashion would go crazy for a man who asks her how she 'balances the color and weight' her outfit rather that asking her where she bought it.
Is she a runner? Ask her about her gait.
A diver? Ask if shes ever had the bends.
Every subject has insider words. Learn them.

Also,
keep an eye out for phrases and words you can mimic. Does she refer to her friends as buddies? Her parents as her folks? Using the same terms as the person you're trying to create rapport with gives them the sense that you're part of the culture group.
 

Whizzy

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jan 8, 2013
Messages
680
While she might go crazy over asking her how she accessorizes or matches clothes for some reason I feel like you need to tread carefully on that subject or else you'll be put in the friend/too precious to risk zone
 
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