Becoming More Spontaneous and Enjoying Life

[NewBeeWinner]

Hey guys,

So tonight I had a meet up in a park with my church group. There were a lot of people, but I just didn't feel like really talking to anyone. I had a couple conversations but it was all so the same to me. Nothing deep. No one showing real emotion. No one showing inspiration or their face lighting up.

At one point, two girls were talking with me and I was going back and forth between them. Right before this, it was asked "what do you do?" and me, being so tired of people asking me the same questions all the time, said "I do (something crazy here) in the day and go bear hunting at night" This peaked their interest a bit and made it not so serious, but it eventually got dragged back into the same old conversations.

I can feel myself getting bored and just plain tired of the same topics. Even hearing the same stuff I get bored. Oh, you're a nursing major? Cool. I've met 20 others. Oh? You don't like outside but like reading fiction? Cool. You're like most other introverts.

I feel a desire to get to know people better but at the same time I'm tired of the same thing. Tired of people doing the same boring things. Tired of being asked the same boring questions. I don't want to tell another person what I do for the 50th time that week!

I feel like this mindset and feeling is killing my spontaneity and my ability to enjoy myself. How can I go about fixing this?

Thanks,

NBW

 

[JacobPalmer]

Hey NewBee, I totally hear you. I'm going to be a bit harsh and direct here, but I genuinely understand your frustration with having boring conversations all the time. BUT, it's a simple fix when you think about it, which is:

CONTROL THE SITUATION/CONVERSATION

If you're guiding things along then you'll never deal with the boring topics anymore. And if she does ask you "what do you do," you can be playful/mysterious about it, but eventually you're going to answer it. BUT then just change the topic back to something you'd rather talk about.

Start asking her different topics and go really deep into your conversations.

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Thanks man. Yeah I definately just need to control where the conversation goes more and just play around with the questions that are usually "boring". Liven things up

NBW

 

[Fuck This]

Do One thing EVERY DAY that scares you....

 

[matteo-d]

mhmmmmm

If you feel bored about telling what you do, do you actually like your job or occupation in the first place ?

When I was in college, I was studying hypnosis and started to have clients. And I was SO FUCKIN passionate about it that I could talk about it for hours.

Every time a girl was asking me what do you do, I said "Im a hypnotist", and that was always bringing a super deep and fascinating conversation.

I'm not advising to do the same, because hypnosis was my thing, maybe not yours. But if you feel bored about talking about your life, then do you actually like your life ?

When you are passionate about what you do, you are going to be engaged anyway because just talking about it will make you feel delighted, and people will connect with you more because of that energy.

Find something to talk about that you're passionate about, and that will bring much more interesting topics in your conversation. (But of course don't forget to connect with them too, don't just talk about yourself ^^ but I think you are already good on that part)