Been on a pretty long dry-spell and I don't know what I'm doing wrong

[dsdezzy]

So I have recently been on a four month dry-spell (talking one kiss at the most in that span).

I don't really have an issue with approach anxiety like I used to, so getting a girl's number isn't the issue. More so my issue is that it seems as if my interactions with women seem fine (to me), but whenever I go for the kiss close, they either turn their face or look at me like I'm crazy (maybe not like I'm crazy, but you know what I mean).

Here's a few examples:

Blonde (HB9) - Everything felt like it was going smoothly, she even ended up in my room, kino and such (she was very receptive). But when I kissed her, she said I was "sweet" and I tried again to no avail (maybe her best friend constantly calling had something to do with it not sure though).

Red-head (HB7) - We met up and had coffee and AGAIN the conversation seemed like it was going well (less kino though), I walked her back to her place and when we got off the elevator to go to her apartment, she said that she had to get something from her car (odd timing IMO), somehow she ends up driving me back to my place and we end up in my room and we watched a youtube video and afterwards I tried the kiss close, but she turned her head and awkwardly laughed and presumably left after the second try.

The rest of my recent experiences go as far as a phone number at best, but nothing much afterwards. Whenever I talk to girls whether it be a club (just to dance) or a woman I met that seems to be going somewhere, the dreaded phrase "I have a boyfriend" pops up.

So my overlying questions are:

How legitimate is the "boyfriend excuse?"

Is it a bad thing to be called "sweet?"

Are my conversations too much on the platonic side or am I not enough of a challenge?

I just don't feel as though I'm truly learning enough from my recent interactions. What could I do to change this?

 

[Lotus]

More so my issue is that it seems as if my interactions with women seem fine (to me), but whenever I go for the kiss close, they either turn their face or look at me like I'm crazy (maybe not like I'm crazy, but you know what I mean).

They don't see you as a sexual man and your, going for the kiss seems, incongruent to them. They are reacting as if a friend tried to kiss them.

It could be platonic conversation or your general vibe, either way they don't look at you and think sex.

 

[dsdezzy]

Well how do I change this to where I am viewed as a sexual man?

How do I implement this into a conversation?

What is the difference between a sexual vibe and a platonic vibe?

Because when I'm in a conversation with a woman and I try to lead the interaction to a more private location, in my mind it is a sexual vibe as I am assuming attraction and I feel as though things are going smoothly. I guess not.

 

[Sub-Zero]

So I have recently been on a four month dry-spell (talking one kiss at the most in that span).

I don't really have an issue with approach anxiety like I used to, so getting a girl's number isn't the issue. More so my issue is that it seems as if my interactions with women seem fine (to me), but whenever I go for the kiss close, they either turn their face or look at me like I'm crazy (maybe not like I'm crazy, but you know what I mean).

Here's a few examples:

Blonde (HB9) - Everything felt like it was going smoothly, she even ended up in my room, kino and such (she was very receptive). But when I kissed her, she said I was "sweet" and I tried again to no avail (maybe her best friend constantly calling had something to do with it not sure though).

Red-head (HB7) - We met up and had coffee and AGAIN the conversation seemed like it was going well (less kino though), I walked her back to her place and when we got off the elevator to go to her apartment, she said that she had to get something from her car (odd timing IMO), somehow she ends up driving me back to my place and we end up in my room and we watched a youtube video and afterwards I tried the kiss close, but she turned her head and awkwardly laughed and presumably left after the second try.

The rest of my recent experiences go as far as a phone number at best, but nothing much afterwards. Whenever I talk to girls whether it be a club (just to dance) or a woman I met that seems to be going somewhere, the dreaded phrase "I have a boyfriend" pops up.

So my overlying questions are:

How legitimate is the "boyfriend excuse?"

Is it a bad thing to be called "sweet?"

Are my conversations too much on the platonic side or am I not enough of a challenge?

I just don't feel as though I'm truly learning enough from my recent interactions. What could I do to change this?

I still get the bf excuse from time to time, but I would say that it is not legitimate. Heck, I've had girls tell me they had boyfriends and dudes they are messing with, and i still lay them. You gotta just get sexual with these girls, let them have their boyfriend and you be the lover.

I get called "sweet" and "nice" a lot, and surprisingly i sleep with the girls that say that. just recently i get called bad boy. Shit, i get called both at the same time. I feel when you're a bad boy with a heart women will respect you more and fall in love with you. I use to think it was bad to be called nice, and sweet, but i feel that's what makes girls want to sleep with you faster, and trust You more.

What do you and the girls talk about?

You just gotta show these girls with your actions you want them sexually from the start.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Search "how to be an asshole girlschase" on google.

I learned a lot from that article when it first came out.

Thing is when you learn how to become a quote "asshole" unquote you really aren't a true "asshole" but you just take the best from their world and scrap the cold hearted bullshit that people don't like. As a result women like you because you're challenging. That's the real issue behind being too nice.

Read a book by Tucker Max and get inside the mind of an asshole.

-Rob

 

[dsdezzy]

Thanks for the advice guys. We usually talk about our goals, hometown, weed (my type of women), not anything sexual (which is probably the problem).

I'm not particularly sure how to go about being sexual off the bat. But I do know how to be an aashole (more of a dick), maybe it's too much for them.

 

[Lotus]

you can also eye fuck the shit out of them and add a little smile... it has been known to work on occasion

 

[ray_zorse]

Sexual framing. Couple of examples with my gf in last few days:

She says she attended Sunday school with her siblings as a child. I tell her that Sunday school was invented so that the parents can have sex. She laughs in an embarrassed way and says "stop it" but she loves it.

She orders pho with tripe and beef balls. I say "you like balls, don't you?"

On the phone tonight she hears my son talking in bed with me and says she misses her mum a lot cos they used to sleep in the same bed until she was like 13 and now she moved to my country to study. I say "I wonder how your dad felt about that, he wouldn't have much private time with mum would he?" She starts to laugh and say "stop it" and then I add "but hey, that's what Sunday school is for, right?" (callback humour). She loves it.

Another girl: We are eating fruit. I pick up a mango and say I like eating things that are soft and wet. I then hand her an apple and say "but you would prefer something harder, wouldn't you?"

Basically, turn things sexual whenever possible. Always look for a sexual angle and when it pops into your head say it without hesitation or the opportunity will be lost. This becomes second nature and part of who you are. Indeed as fsc notes, when talking to people you aren't attracted to, it can be hard to block all the sexual responses. Hehe.

Ray

Edit: How you deliver this is important, I like to maintain a very playful and flirty vibe if possible (depends on my mood how successful this is). I also often laugh uncontrollably at my own jokes, which isn't normally recommended, but is a good thing to do if she is somewhat participating cos it is infectious and allows me to get away with humour that might be offensive otherwise (commenting on someone's family or religion and turning it sexual, haha only just realized how offensive that is).

 

[killerman]

currently going through the same problem. havnet been laid since january, and had 10 dates in last 3 weeks and still failing to get past first date. are you still on a dry spell?

 

[dsdezzy]

Unfortunately I am. I've had girls come back to my place on two occasions, but I was too scared to make a move. So the roles of my game have reversed.