Been practicing for a year and still very few results. What am I missing ?

[Furry Wall]

Hey guys, new to the forum, but have been reading the site for over a year and been practicing pick up for a year. I am 29 years old and live in the suburbs of New Jersey. I've been practicing pick up on the weekends, mostly because the only place to go where I live that has girls all year round are bars and clubs. Recently I've even started day game at the mall, but there are not too many 20+ girls there. From the bars and clubs so far I've had many dance floor makeouts (which doesn't mean much, I know), and 1 one night stand. I find it extremely difficult to get anything going with girls other then a dance or a makeout here in these clubs. I've been to bars and clubs all over the state and always run into the problem of girls being there with their friends, or not wanting to talk to me for long. The limited day game I have done seems to get girls talking to me but the few times I asked for a date I got told they have boyfriends. I like day game but it's hard to find girls to approach where I live. Any advice for me, I am getting pretty frustrated by the lack of results. If anyone does pick up in the suburbs or in New Jersey let me know I'd love to hear your take on the dating scene here.
Thanks in advance guys
- Furry

 

[-B-]

First off look at yourself and try to improve on your own weaknesses in your fundamentals and how you can personally become a more attractive man. This is the way Micheal Jordan said he turned into the player that he became in the movie "michael jordan to the max" he analyzed himself and listened to others to find out what his weaknesses were, and then he worked tirelessly to turn them into his strengths. The best way to improve is to pretend your are watching a replay of yourself from an outside perspective and simply pick out what is going wrong. Thinking from your own perspective back on the past and in the moment, it can be hard to clearly see what is going on. Try to think outside your perspective and big picture. The first and easiest thing you can do to get better with women is do everything you can to make yourself a more attractive man. Work on your looks, style, personality, career and goals towards life. You don't have to become a millionare but develop a plan for what you want to do in life (besides just picking up girls) and go after it with passion and determination, women love this.

On big picture... From reading what you are saying it seems like you are constantly going out to bars and clubs all the time to try and pick up women, maybe even alone. The first thing about this is that many girls at bars and clubs are constantly being hit on, thus they have their guard up and you have to deal with a bunch of competition. Personally i find this one of the hardest place to get girls because this is when you are really going to have to blow them and the competition away to find success. Also have you ever thought that the women can see exactly what you are doing there. Maybe you are there alone, or focusing more on talking to random girl after random girl trying to get laid. I believe that people are a lot more socially intelligent than most people think, and usually they can see right through what you are doing. When a girl sees a guy going out purely just to approach girls she thinks "This guys going out purely to get women, he must be doing this because hes trying to get better with women, he wants to get laid, and he doesn't HAVE a lot of women or else he would have a date or be with a girl right now.... hes not good with women, and not a good guy for me, i want the guy all the other girls want." You should try just getting involved in everyday activities that would be good for you, that would also bring you in contact with fit good looking girls that you could just meet and flirt with incidentally. I'm talking about things like cycling class at the gym, painting and art classes, anything you think that would bring you in contact with younger women. If you do go out to the bars, go out with your boys to have a fun time (or at least that's what it looks like to the women) and make flirting with them seem a bit more incidental, fun, and hey what ever. If you read NarrowJ's field reports when hes gotten laid at a casino or a festival on labor day weekend he was out having fun with his boys. He saw a cute girl and was like "hey I'm a cool guy, and that girls kinda cute, hell why not take a shot at her for fun" Girls can sense this and it looks far less desperate and more valuable.

What i want you to do is imagine that you are the ultimate ladies man, one that every girl wants, you fuck a different perfect 10 every day. Think how this would affect the way you act, what kind of man would you become? How would you handle meeting and seducing new women? First off you wouldn't try to hard to meet and seduce women because your women needs are beyond taken care of, you assume that women want you because "hey they always do". When you're out and about just living your daily life you see a girl and your like "Hey, she's kind of cute" If its convenient for you (or seems to be) you chat her up. When you do this you are totally comfortable with her and openly portraying your desire for her non-verbally as you chat. You are totally fine doing this because once again "hey all women want me, i get laid every day" and you are not afraid of her rejecting you and not liking you because you have a shit load of options and absolute abundance. And you would like too... but its not life or death if you guys end up sleeping together (at least that's what it seems) because once again you have a shit load of abundance. If shes feeding off of your vibe you casually grab her number and propose you guys chill sometime that's convenient for both of you (or casually just ask her to hang after). THIS is the vibe you should be giving to women, THIS is what they should infer from the actions you portray. Not that you are a guy giving a hundred and ten percent trying to get better with women because you want to get laid more. You want to seem to be the guy who gets laid all the time, gives 10 to 20 percent, and naturally finds himself chatting up, taking out, and closing women because they want him.

hope this helps

-B

 

[-B-]

Also you ideally don't want to kiss a girl in public or basically anytime until you are alone together at a seduction location so it can snowball directly into sex. Make outs on the dance floor or in public will often burn out what you had going and prevent you from closing. Read chase's article about "Kissing in Public" to hear more about how that works

 

[Furry Wall]

Hey B, thanks for the great info, I have had similar thoughts about girls being able to see right through me when I am picking up. But it's so hard to mask because like I said there are few places where I live that I can practice or maybe I haven't found them yet. I think Chase should put out an article on girls being able to tell what your are up to when you're practicing pick up. So any tips on making myself seem less obvious but still practicing pick up. Once again B thanks for the feedback I will definitely make good use of it. - Furry.

 

[-B-]

When you are in the field just don't let women see you standing around, scanning the area, obviously making paths to approach woman after woman. After this it really all comes down to how you approach her initially, and how you behave in conversation. Try to approach her more incidentally, like you were going about whatever you were doing anyway and last second you kind of just noticed her there right next to you and that shes kinda cute. Just give her a little nudge, a smile, say something playful and causal if its not to loud in there... whatever is NATURAL and FUN at the time. See how going more minimal and natural like this goes for you. If she returns your playful smile and positive vibes, casually ask her about how her night is going or make a playful comment about her and the situation and move forward from there. Make sure that she looks at you first just before to do it, or is in a position where she noticed your casual approach. If you have to tap her on the shoulder or try to hard to get her to look over then the whole effect is kind of blown. When interacting with them, everything you do should be because you are playfully curious. You don't want to be coming off like you are on a mission and are you are trying to run this strategy with her and are constantly analyzing her results, they can pick up on this. The whole reason we all want sex and all stuff with the opposite sex is for pleasure and fun, let this define you.

Also depending on how serious you take this stuff, you might want to consider moving and starting fresh in a new town full of people your age. Your harvest is only as great as your resources.