Beginner to _______

mirj23

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 24, 2019
Messages
23
I'm getting back into daygame. I want to keep these entries short and sweet, and I'm not sure what exactly I'll be posting here yet. I mostly think it might be good to add to the body of logs here that show very concrete goals and measured results. Helps quantify something that can be difficult to feel like you are progressing in.

I'd say I'm still a beginner. I've had results (slept with people from daygame and have had a fair number of experiences overall), but I feel like they are mostly due to fundamentals and some natural charm rather than me working on any techniques or specific habits. Im above average looking and young as well.

Sidenote: the only current person im casually with is pretty impressive. Chance wrote something a while back that mentioned girls who get off from giving head, this girl is that and more. High sex drive too. Probably went through 8-9 condoms last time we hung out. Think she might be too much for me in a relationship actually. I'm always incredibly exhausted when I leave her. Might have to stave off seeing her a bit so that I keep motivation for day game.

Anyways, while in the past I had mostly dealt with AA and gotten a fair number of dates, Im finding it is rearing its head again and I am struggling with new anxiety during my most recent venture into working on daygame. I'm doing stupid shit like ejecting mid set for no good reason, not following through with very warm sets, and also avoiding sets that make me too uncomfortable. Its easy for me to open someone solo who isn't in a crowd and is walking towards me, but that is about the only easy scenario, and this is obviously problematic.

Thats enough for background for now, onto my goals for tomorrow:

Approach 2-3 women. One or more of them need to be in difficult situations (crowd around/in a store/high effort).

We will leave it at that. This would probably be a better first entry if it wasn't so late.
 
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mirj23

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 24, 2019
Messages
23
I did alright, only had about 45 minutes to approach today but spoke with three or four women. I genuinely opened 2 for sure that I can recall, but I didn't continue them. I would compliment them and express interest, but there wasn't a lot of confidence in my stops, and the compliments were incredibly boring. They obviously weren't super warm and I ejected from them, pretty stupidly.

Sidenote: Its a bit frustrating how strongly AA has come back this go around with daygame. Although I seem to remember feeling like I was really just starting to do well when I stopped before, so maybe I never fully got over it the last time I was regularly approaching. Regardless, it results in me doing the absolute dumbest shit (like ejecting after getting complimented back), but thats the current state of affairs.

Pros for today:
I approached 2 people, and 1 or both of them were in relatively busy areas. So I would say I accomplished my goal. I also think I could do this again next time, so I'm gonna progress in some manner.

AA seems like it has really improved. Definitely not fully there with it, but most of the conversations were in crowds, which is something I am struggling with. I also actually complimented a very attractive girl in a group of 3, as my first set, and she slowed and made it clear she didn't hear me, so I repeated and expanded on the compliment slightly (it was on her sense of style I believe). She responded really well and kept facing me as her friends walked past her, obviously signaling a fantastic time to eject. I feel frustrated at not continuing with signs like that, but a 3 person group is intimidating so I was dumb. Hopefully its a positive reference still.

Cons:
I didn't open very well to be honest, and have noticed that happening occasionally. When I do open better, it turns out pretty good, so I should focus on that a bit.

Ejecting, not persisting in general.


Onto my goals for tomorrow. I am starting to feel like I can actually work on my opener, and not just have too much anxiety, but I still think the AA should be my predominant focus. I know where Im going tomorrow, will likely have plenty of opportunities, and I would like to advance my goal. I think I should try and do 4 approaches. With at least 2 in crowds. A small increase. I also would like to force myself to stay in the conversation a bit longer in 2. Doesn't matter what I stay in for, just persist a little bit more.

So 4 approaches, >=2 in crowds, >=2 full conversations.

I will worry about openers after I have a better handle on the AA I think. Cant seem to focus on much when the anxiety is bad anyways.

That's it for now
 

mirj23

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 24, 2019
Messages
23
Long ass day today. Went to a new area and walked the streets that I thought would be popular, but they were pretty dead. I had a few brief conversations, a couple of blowout approaches from just not opening strongly. Then went to a few familiar spots to continue. I basically considered the crowd requirement done for the day at this point, but hadn't actually persisted with anyone.

At the new place, I gave a few brief compliments and opened a tourist pretty strongly, but ended it for for no good reason. Later, I had an actual exchange with someone who was very much my type. Not super long, but long enough to the point that we had talked about a few different topics; I asked if she wanted to grab coffee sometime after about 5 minutes. She said she recently got out of something, and I persisted casually. No luck again, so I took my leave.

Takeaway: Probably should have tried to lengthen the interaction and establish more rapport before proposing the date, but she was waiting for family. I likely just didn't come off attractive enough in the time we did have. I'd guess my nerves showed though. Continue to work on lengthening interactions though. Nerves will take care of themselves as I get more desensitized.

Opened someone else with some really stupid comment about their attire looking cozy as I left the venue. Shortly thereafter I ejected. This one I regret as she was warm and I was very into her physically. Should have gotten her to stop and also shouldn't have opened like a putz. It'll improve though as I get back into the swing of things.

Final venue, similar story as above, a few casual, and one with an attempt at a number close. She said she had a boyfriend, and I ended the conversation wishing her well. She was very positive about the compliment though, and clearly appreciated the validation.

As I left for the day, I almost bumped into someone coming from the parking paystation area. I immediately found myself expressing that she was cute. She was putting on her mask but was clearly an ig model or something akin (probably had work done but it actually looked pretty good). Lots of those where I live. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes, and was like, "okayyy ...". Some old instincts kicked in (finally some confidence is coming back), and I just started laughing at her a little. Not rudely, but more like she was my little sister who just did something silly. Probably a bit condescending, but thats what you get for being shitty. She starts smirking and I, flushing that frame down the toilet, decide to narrate my inner dialogue and say, "that was the face that says fuck off". She likes my comment a lot and starts laughing audibly, a good bit. I could have gotten somewhere with this I think, but I actually did just eject after laughing briefly with her. I was definitely slightly anxious that she was soon going to be joined by someone, but I also was satisfied that I had already completed my goals -- so I didn't really care too much. Interesting interaction though.

This was my first time (this second bout with daygame) that I actively tried to close two people on the same day, so Im glad of that. It's frustrating given how much easier it used to be, but its coming back I think.


Im hoping the best way for me to decrease the AA is just continued desensitization, which is faster the more I approach (especially when it's with intent). So im just going to focus on that. The crowd fear may be resolving itself without too much attention.
Goals for tomorrow:

3-4 attempted closes. Try a waving stop.
5-6 total approaches, try and do some from crowds


I love that I said I was going to keep the posts short, and then proceeded to write entries going from medium to lengthy with unnecessary additions. I'm only going to be journaling daily for half a month or so, so its fine for now. I'm curious to see how quickly/slowly I'll improve.
 

mirj23

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 24, 2019
Messages
23
Ended up taking the day off today. Woke up and was just beat, physically and emotionally. Tomorrow's goal is the same, but I have a route planned out this time that Im hoping will be a bit busier/more productive.

Was reading an article today, and in the comments I realized that Bacchus was someone I used to read semi regularly under a different name on the forum. I had wondered how they ended up. Always helpful to see someone who stuck with a skill you're trying to be consistent in working on. Lights and tunnels and such.

Hopeful for tomorrow.
 

mirj23

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 24, 2019
Messages
23
Didn't hit my goal today. I went out to 1 old and 1 new place. The venues just didnt have a ton of opportunities, and I avoided a few of the ones that did pop up.

Got 1 decent approach in. Ejected soon after finding out she had an appt in a few minutes. Should have said something like, "Well you can spare two minutes to chat with a cute guy," and continued on quickly. She had stayed stopped, and was very warm about my compliment, so I think persisting would have made sense here.

God its frustrating when you don't hit your goals like this. In the gym, it can sometimes be out of your control. Here though, it feels similar, but is very much in your control. The goals are attainable, with barely any increase in difficulty from the last successful goal. Taking a day off was probably a mistake. Demonstrates the importance of early consistency in building a habit I guess.


Goal for tomorrow, 2-3 approaches with intent. Also, I really want to make sure I approach the first opportunity I see, hoping that starts the ball rolling.
 
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mirj23

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 24, 2019
Messages
23
2 approaches with intent, then later I gave a lot of compliments/comments at the grocery store. I'm just trying to make small talk with almost everyone. Seems like it is the right move towards becoming alright with indirect direct. I also think it just in general will help my AA.

1st approach went well, I chose to leave after a minute because I wasn't as into her as I thought initially. It was the first approach I saw I think.

2nd went very poorly, but I persisted at least. She kept walking at first, but did stop when I said excuse me again. Unfortunately, the compliment was super lame and she seemed frustrated I didn't have anything better. Bummed me out for a bit. I hate how much momentum matters for me still.

Eventually opened a group of 2, and chatted them up for a couple of minutes before exiting. The one I was into was into me, but I didn't/dont really know what is best to say in those situations. The stakes feel higher with groups. Should read a bit, but also just try shit and accept that Im going to be rejected sometimes. This was the best interaction I had probably.

I think this was an okay day. Still a bit frustrated at how slow this is though.

The goal for tomorrow is going to be 3-4 approaches with intent. Want to make sure I do the first one I see again. Seemed to be a good start.

Trying to stay excited through the frustration.
 

mirj23

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 24, 2019
Messages
23
Sigh. I got one legitimate approach in. Lots of indirect shit that I didn't capitalize on. Lots of compliments with no persistence.

I want to focus on doing just 2 legitimate approaches tomorrow. Specifically, ones with a direct opener that is delivered fully. I'm frustrated I'm missing out on opportunities, so i need to force myself to not give compliments, and instead give openers.

Some things feel like they're getting easier, but I'm not hitting my goals. Hopefully i will see a clearer trend in a week or so. My fundamentals feel super solid right now; the only person I'm sleeping with from my recent endeavors is really into me, so I think I just need to hang in there with the anxiety until I'm consistently opening whoever I want.

We will see.
 

mirj23

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 24, 2019
Messages
23
When it rains it pours.

Well, not really, but it might have gotten wetter than usual.

Day was going as all the other ones have gone. Disappointing to be frank. Bumped my goal down to one legitimate approach, I think I've been cutting myself way too much slack here. Need to do more formal direct approaches, because they make me uncomfortable. The only ones I semi-reliably do are when we are crossing paths in the street, and I always open pretty weakly. That's the goal for Monday, 1 legitimate direct approach. Date tomorrow and don't think I'll have time.

Anyways, I took a break midway through the day. Went and smoked a tiny bit in my car. Plan was to walk around for a bit longer afterwards. It's crowded now and I walk past someone coming towards me. I tell her she has cute hair, opening very timidly at first. She stops and looks at me like she didn't quite hear everything, she got the jist though. Just then, a big group of people crosses between us. She waits while they do, looking at me. Awesome, she's interested. I basically tell her that I was just going to mention that I liked her hair, but now that we had shared an awkward opening, we had to see the interaction through. Keep talking and eventually go on an instant date. She's very pretty, but is Italian and only in town briefly. Don't want to write any more details about it, but the date went well, and we made plans to meet again before she leaves. There were some logistical problems, if not I might have gotten my first full sdl. I tried to at the very least. I think we will likely get together this week.

Got a text from my fwb while I was out with my new acquaintance, inquiring about our date tomorrow. The 8 year old in me felt validated. Also feel guilty, but I'm honest and up front with everyone so I shouldnt.

Till monday
 

mirj23

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 24, 2019
Messages
23
Second day in a row of not really getting anywhere. I did some indirect stuff, and had a chance to close today, but ejected. She was cute, and we had good banter, I should have given her a chance.

Tomorrow, the goal is:
1-2 legitimate, direct, approaches.

I think it might not hurt to try and warm up with some indirect at a different venue before I go try to work on direct. I have the two places in mind.

Interesting update, the girl flaked after the instant date from the last post. I almost never lose a girl after the first date, so I was a little surprised. I wonder if something may have come up logistically as she replied super warmly to my first text, but didn't read the later follow ups. Hopefully I find out at some point if it was disinterest.

I hate how slow I'm progressing with the anxiety. I'm conscious of a part of me that doesnt think I should be approaching (from an "ethical" perspective). Obviously, this isn't the main reason why I'm not approaching. After all, I don't have anxiety doing other things that I find slightly questionable, ethically. Nonetheless, its frustrating and distracting to find my brain using it as an excuse to let someone just pass by.

I'm starting to grow doubtful I will progress, but Im sure these thoughts are normal. I remember feeling like that about working out too, and now Im in much better shape.



We'll see
 
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