Being a guy who formerly didn't "get it" and changing people's perspective

[Paulie Walnuts]

So remember how I told you guys I used to run nightclubs and raves for a living? People always assumed I just ROLLED in fucking pussy (and to an extent I had a lot of girls, couldn't close a fair amount of them, but I got a lot more than I should have with the mindset that I had).

My mindset was this: Women didn't like sex all that much and only really fucked/hooked up with boyfriends or bad boys when they were drunk/high (and I wasn't a bad boy, I was a gentleman).

Even worse, I used to slut shame, call girls out about stuff publicly (on Facebook), post screenshots of messages girls had sent me (because I thought I was cool when really I was a fucking douchebag loser who was mad I wasn't getting laid as much as I thought I should be). I refused to do the platonic friend zone with women (verbally and upfront), I also would publicly say that women who hooked up with guys on the first date/put out were total fucking sluts. Even worse, I would publicly and on social media complain a shit ton about how "girls didn't like me and I was SUCH an awesome guy (who was sweet and had a job and career) and I would never find a girl who liked me for me!" and "girls only liked fucking douchebags" etc. (I know, it sounds really bad, one of my older mates called me out on it and tried to set me straight and I actually bitched him out, like a bitch).

Now unfortunately this has probably set many people's expectations of me and who I am as a person, probably conveying to a huge amount of the female population in my city that I just don't "get it"; because I was so ridiculously well known through my event company, this is really shooting myself in the foot.

Any ideas how I can convey the change in my personality and the fact that due to reading and studying here I have actually become enlightened to how things really are? My fundamentals are getting stronger, I'm doing more approaches and going on more dates (and working on killing the "gentleman" mindset) but it's hard and my friends and those groups from before probably still think of me as the guy who doesn't "get it".

I'm not sure this is changeable without a lot of time and just going for new girls, at least I finally understand now though! Haha, I always wondered how could it be that I literally had women throwing themselves at me while I was running events but wasn't closing all that much, now I get it...

 

[Paulie Walnuts]

@radeng, Actually that's fucking gold mate, I did a "text half of the girls in my phone" saying we should grab coffee yesterday and actually did get a couple bites from previous non-responsive girls that from a variety of categories (girls I'd slept with then not heard from again, girls that I'd gotten a little too... snappy at and fucked up spezznatura, girls that never responded in the first place).

Also when I was doing online pulls and saw that a girl was mostly looking for "new friends" I'd straight ask them if they were only looking for platonic friends (which referring to Franco's previous reply to my other post was probably a mistake, letting them know I was the type of guy worried about getting friend zoned), so I didn't do this and lo and behold I have a coffee date setup purely because I just said "Hey let's go out and see if we click ", the response has actually been much warmer than most of my other coffee dates set for this week!

I'm going to try the verbal disqualifiers tonight/this weekend with the right body language and see if that helps a bit, I think it might since I've seen some of my "natural" friends do it and it works fucking wonders for them (they've tried to explain it to me before but all I could ask was HOW THE FUCK THEY DIDN'T GET FRIEND ZONED!!! Now that I've been reading girlschase I'm starting to understand how they do it! It's not some big mystery they just have strong nonverbal game and body language)

Every new piece of the puzzle is like a new move on the chess board, I'm starting to understand, slowly but surely!

 

[Bboy100]

You don't mind platonic friends at all

Just want to add to this. Don't just think of it as a means to an end. Actually make hot female friends. It's SUPER helpful. For most guys, it's useful in that it gets them more comfortable around hot girls. For you, I think this point is moot because based on your other posts, there's literally nothing you don't have the balls to say/do with a women. So being "comfortable" around women is not an issue for you.

For you, I think this would be beneficial because you can learn a LOT from women. It's one thing to read about their mindsets and why they do what they do on Girlschase. It's an entirely different different to see it in action and for them to actually have those conversations with you. Additionally, rolling up in a Nightclub with 4 hot girls is worlds different from going out by yourself or with a couple dudes and trying to cold approach. Also...tbh, women just make great friends. Oftentimes, much better friends than dudes.

Here's my rule: If she's hot, I'll do what I can to sleep with her. If I fail, and she's still a cool person to hang out with, I'll drop the idea of sleeping with her entirely. Instead, I'll just try to make her a legit friend/part of my social group. The only time I intentionally cut out girls out of my life is when they don't bring me enough value as a friend for it to be worth hanging out with them.

 

[Paulie Walnuts]

Fair enough Bboy that actually sounds like a pretty solid plan since it's not hurting me at all! I simply have a hard time with the mindset of doing things for other people, once a girl is a "female platonic friend" she may ask favors from you yeah? Just like a male friend would, it's really hard for me not to tell girls that aren't interested in me to just go fuck themselves haha, gotta get back that mindset!

I mean I do favors for my male friends, it should be no different with my female ones, I just feel like second place if I fail to sleep with a girl and it's hard for me to keep her around platonic, but I'm gonna try that. This site is all about changing our game and our styles to make situations more favorable to us, so if that's something that will help that's what I'm gonna do!