- Joined
- Aug 29, 2013
- Messages
- 8
I don't know how helpful all of you will find this. The experienced people will probably not find this particularly useful. Yet this is a technique I found to be a good tool to have at times, especially early on.
Context
When you have low confidence or lack a sense of clear identity as of yet, it's easy to come on to a forum like this, or watch some media, and have a hard time parsing through the myriad techniques of what works and what doesn't. What can happen is that you pick up helpful sounding tips... OUT OF CONTEXT.
In other words, you develop a mismash of mismatched personality characteristics which can seem attractive alone, but when combined together, don't make any sense at all.
I think an important part of pickup is congruence. If you are, say, well-read and sophisticated, then try to act extremely bro-macho the next minute, it's off-putting and can kill attraction without you even knowing why.
So what am I getting at?
It's important to have a TYPE that you adhere to. A CHARACTER that you keep in mind, to help you develop off-the-cuff answers that are attractive and yet fit with your personality.
After a while you become who you are, and that you is attractive, so I don't think this is necessary or anything. But when I started off, I found it helpful to go back in my mind, and like WWJD, ask myself, WHAT WOULD THIS GUY DO? (WWTGD)
A lot of the time, I found having a clear sketch of a character in mind to be very helpful in responding in the moment.
So how do I do this?
What I did was look through my personality and ACCENTUATE sexual/attractive aspects while KEEPING neutral/positive ones. I found that I am:
1) Quiet
2) Intense
3) Well-educated/Intelligent
4) Not an intimidating physical presence (I'm pretty short and my body type is slender)
5) Incisive
If you look at this list it isn't good or bad, it can be good or it can be bad depending on how you present it. So here's the character I developed. I actually went home, visualized my type instinctively, and tried to WRITE who this character is, like in a STORY.
"GUY is quiet because he is bored most of the time, looking for interesting things. He is pretty apathetic and somewhat self-centered. At the same time, he is extremely cocky. He is also bored partially because nothing bothers him, and he handles all kinds of shit easily. He's just not fazed.
"When he does see a girl he likes, a sly smile creeps across his face because he knows he's going to have fun. While not going over the top or positive, while still being quiet--he fucks with her, because he can. He knows that girls can't stand him at times, but they can't help themselves from coming back.
"Because he's sexy.
"He can be inconsiderate and selfish. Most of the time he's just doing his thing. But when he's talking with a woman he wants, he's having fun. And he's making sure they're both thinking of sex, in a subtle way. And when he makes his move, it will be bold."
This style meshed very well with my personality type. I'm usually bored a lot of the time, I'm terrible with small talk. I can go deep on topics, but most of the time, I'm pretty quiet.
By visualizing this person in my head, and imagining myself to BE this person whenever I approached, I found I had an instinctive response to almost any situation. Would this guy be party loud? No. Is he still sexy? Absolutely yes.
In Conclusion
I think it's important to dig into who you are and try to visualize this sexual version of yourself at some point or another. There's a whole bunch of neurons in our heads that are devoted to simulating the behavior of other human beings. The whole point of this, of course, is to eventually BE that person WITHOUT simulating it. But if you're starting out, or sometimes if you're feeling VERY out of sorts...
GUY is nice to have around.
Let me know if you have any questions, I'll stick around... I used to post on mASF but this is the first in a while. I don't know how helpful all of you will find this, but I found it yielded good results until the principles got ingrained.
Peace
-57
Context
When you have low confidence or lack a sense of clear identity as of yet, it's easy to come on to a forum like this, or watch some media, and have a hard time parsing through the myriad techniques of what works and what doesn't. What can happen is that you pick up helpful sounding tips... OUT OF CONTEXT.
In other words, you develop a mismash of mismatched personality characteristics which can seem attractive alone, but when combined together, don't make any sense at all.
I think an important part of pickup is congruence. If you are, say, well-read and sophisticated, then try to act extremely bro-macho the next minute, it's off-putting and can kill attraction without you even knowing why.
So what am I getting at?
It's important to have a TYPE that you adhere to. A CHARACTER that you keep in mind, to help you develop off-the-cuff answers that are attractive and yet fit with your personality.
After a while you become who you are, and that you is attractive, so I don't think this is necessary or anything. But when I started off, I found it helpful to go back in my mind, and like WWJD, ask myself, WHAT WOULD THIS GUY DO? (WWTGD)
A lot of the time, I found having a clear sketch of a character in mind to be very helpful in responding in the moment.
So how do I do this?
What I did was look through my personality and ACCENTUATE sexual/attractive aspects while KEEPING neutral/positive ones. I found that I am:
1) Quiet
2) Intense
3) Well-educated/Intelligent
4) Not an intimidating physical presence (I'm pretty short and my body type is slender)
5) Incisive
If you look at this list it isn't good or bad, it can be good or it can be bad depending on how you present it. So here's the character I developed. I actually went home, visualized my type instinctively, and tried to WRITE who this character is, like in a STORY.
"GUY is quiet because he is bored most of the time, looking for interesting things. He is pretty apathetic and somewhat self-centered. At the same time, he is extremely cocky. He is also bored partially because nothing bothers him, and he handles all kinds of shit easily. He's just not fazed.
"When he does see a girl he likes, a sly smile creeps across his face because he knows he's going to have fun. While not going over the top or positive, while still being quiet--he fucks with her, because he can. He knows that girls can't stand him at times, but they can't help themselves from coming back.
"Because he's sexy.
"He can be inconsiderate and selfish. Most of the time he's just doing his thing. But when he's talking with a woman he wants, he's having fun. And he's making sure they're both thinking of sex, in a subtle way. And when he makes his move, it will be bold."
This style meshed very well with my personality type. I'm usually bored a lot of the time, I'm terrible with small talk. I can go deep on topics, but most of the time, I'm pretty quiet.
By visualizing this person in my head, and imagining myself to BE this person whenever I approached, I found I had an instinctive response to almost any situation. Would this guy be party loud? No. Is he still sexy? Absolutely yes.
In Conclusion
I think it's important to dig into who you are and try to visualize this sexual version of yourself at some point or another. There's a whole bunch of neurons in our heads that are devoted to simulating the behavior of other human beings. The whole point of this, of course, is to eventually BE that person WITHOUT simulating it. But if you're starting out, or sometimes if you're feeling VERY out of sorts...
GUY is nice to have around.
Let me know if you have any questions, I'll stick around... I used to post on mASF but this is the first in a while. I don't know how helpful all of you will find this, but I found it yielded good results until the principles got ingrained.
Peace
-57
