Being more mature..

[Sam Dray]

Hey there everyone..

It's been a while since I last posted anything. Been out dealing with family related matters (attended my uncle's funeral last month), but I'm back. I'm not in tip-top shape.. But we have to move on at some point, even if it's sad to do so.

On to my current situation. Recently, I realized something strange while talking a few girls, I'd find myself thinking: "You don't sound mature enough to keep this conversation going."

My question to you guys is: how did you learn to be more mature?

I understand the fact that if you go out and approach enough girls, eventually you'll learn how to communicate more effectively and your fundamentals will improve, but I sometimes end up in a conversation with a girl, where I think to myself: "you are sounding way too childish dude" or "you are sounding way too serious.. Compared to her."

So I guess.. To add to the question I've already asked. I'm having a bit of trouble balancing the scale between.. Guy who's fun to be around.. And Guy who takes things way too seriously.

I tried to describe my situation as clearly as I could, but feel to ask for extra details if you feel like I did not provide enough information. Other than that, I'd like your advice/links to articles/links to other related board posts.

- Sam

 

[Fuck This]

I think it comes down to a "Work Hard. Play Hard" mindset. You have to know your goals, your responsibilities to achieve those goals, and the ability in a social situation to know you have fulfilled your responsibilities to yourself.

You convey your maturity by being grounded in reality about your values and goals. The goal isn't to buy a kick ass boat to party at the lake all weekend. It is to develop your career and business to the point that there is extra money after bills, and payroll and saving to buy a boat and party all weekend. What are you doing each and every day to move toward that? Making yourself more valuable in the workplace, making contacts in the industry, continuing your education in the field? if you are doing that, your mind will be naturally drawn to those topics.

What are you doing in PERSONAL development? are you following the Arts, are you reading the newspaper (NY Times sunday edition, Wall street Journal) are you culturally savvy? Are you up enough on current events to talk about Why there are Refugees from Syria flooding Europe? Empathy is a powerful bonding tool with people.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said "Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people." Keep that in mind in your conversations. YOu need to be up on all three to be a well armed conversationalist. Plus remember people (girls) love to tak about them selves. Most times the best conversationalist is more of a listener than a speaker.

 

[Sam Dray]

Solid stuff man.. Thanks a lot