Being Stupid to Build Comfort

[StrayDog]

I am going to go ahead and toot my own horn for a moment here and say that I am a relatively intelligent guy, as I am sure many of you guys are as well. That's great and all, but being intelligent doesn't always equal success in seduction, and often times can even get in the way. There are only a small number of women you will meet that will get wet the moment you reference Byzantine design principles . While this can certainly help you with certain women, in certain scenarios to come across as some super cultured kind of guy. I have found it is best to let those more intelligent and educated parts of yourself be discovered as opposed to outright displayed. Better to be stupid. Approachable, simple, stupid lover boy who happens to be full of surprises and intriguing depth. "He can't really be this stupid can he? Oh he's just so cute, and warm and inviting. It's easy to talk with him about whatever.". Better to have her thinking "I thought he was kind of stupid but he's actually super deep". than the other way around.

@Hector Papi Castillo recently touched on this in a video of his and I was pleased to see him touching on some similar things I have been developing recently.

So here is a conversational technique I have been using with great results. I have been interjecting it into my seductions at all stages and it has in many ways become foundational to how I game these days. Now, some of you might not chose to integrate this into your style to the point that it is a large part of your persona. But I urge you to give it a go and see where it can fit into your seductions.

The archetype I have had in mind while I have been developing this is Keanu Reeves in the 90's. He was just so charming and simple and girls loved him. Just warm, and kind of stupid, but also totally a stud who is confident and self assured.

I speak with enthusiasm, and interest. But not over the top. Still somewhat kicked back. This tone and presence is crucial because you still want to come across as masculine and grounded, even though you are being kind of dumb.

Okay so here is the technique. I basically just talk about things very simple and enthusiastically. And when I say "things", I mean literally anything.

I approached a girl the other day who was drinking boba tea and after a couple moments of banter I was like "woah, I love boba tea. it's got those cool bubbles, and you sip them through your straw and they are all chewy, but like a good kind of chewy. And the flavors are so good". and so on. Basically the whole time she was just giggling and agreeing with me, and then I pivoted to some other topic and said some stupid shit about that as well. Keep in mind that tone and pacing was important here, I wasn't just throwing all of that at her a mile a minute. I was chill and paced myself and gave her time to respond.

Another example was when I was on a date with a total babe recently and we showed up to the venue and there was a bunch of plants. So what did I do? I said a bunch of stupid shit about plants. "woah, there's so many plants. that's awesome. I love how many different shapes of leaves they have. That one would be cool to have in your yard, then you could sit under it, and water it". And so on. Then when we got our food I was like "pho is so good. With the noodles, and you get to pick them up with your chopsticks. And all the vegetables floating around and you get to pick which one you wanna eat next". The whole time she is giggling and agreeing with me. "yeah totally I love plants, oh that is a cool one, yeah look at those leaves. Yeah pho is great. Yeah I love the noodles, totally chopsticks are so fun"

Can you see why this builds comfort? it's because it is simple, easy to follow, easy to respond to, inviting, and relatable. Plain and simple. She doesn't have to worry about how to respond. It's easy to talk to a stupid person. Especially if they are charming and warm and easy to be around.

I also like throwing in dumb questions as well. I was on a date with a girl and we were looking at the sunset on the mountains in the distance and I was like "wow, imagine if we were hiking that mountain. We'd be all sweaty, just getting higher up and higher up. Then we'd be at the top and there'd be an epic view. And we'd just be looking out at it. It'd be so cool. do you like epic views?"

Come on guys, that's a really dumb question. I've also asked woman if she "likes puppies that are fluffy, or not so fluffy". when I was doing this same routine on her but with puppies "I love puppies, they're so cute, the way they are all full of life. Then they bark but they're not even scary, cause you just want to hug them. I like the fluffy ones. Like, a fluffy puppy is the best. Do you like fluffy puppies or not so fluffy puppies?".

I've even had a women say she didn't like dogs and preferred cats and I just said something dumb like "woah that's cool. Cats are totally different than puppies. Way different. But kittens, now those are cute"

Now, I will say that I have been met with skepticism when I am doing this with women basically being like "is this dude for real?". But it never fails to charm them. They are always going along with it the entire time I am doing it.

I want note here that this is just one aspect of my game. Otherwise it would get old quick. It is just a general tone I bring to the interaction. It usually recedes in prominence the deeper into the seduction I get and is replaced with more deep diving, and sexual tension, and the likes. It is really just a way to build comfort and keep the
conversation simple and playful and easy to engage with.

Even my deep dives have taken on a bit of this dumb tone to them. It's like I am dumb, but also genuinely interested, and that genuine interest allows me to ask really observant questions. It's that some warm quality that gives her permission to open up. Because there is no need to put on airs.

So that's it guys, get out there, be more stupid, and watch as women become endeared to you.

 

[Skills]

The title misleading, the reason why it works is cause the humor aspect of playing stupid, which builds comfort, girls don't think you are actually stupid... Being over the top ridiculous, comedians do this a lot... Humor is used to build comfort... And is actually the opposite to have humor you have to be smart.... You don't want a bunch of autist playing stupid and taking it literally...

 

[StrayDog]

The title misleading, the reason why it works is cause the humor aspect of playing stupid, which builds comfort, girls don't think you are actually stupid... Being over the top ridiculous, comedians do this a lot... Humor is used to build comfort... And is actually the opposite to have humor you have to be smart.... You don't want a bunch of autist playing stupid and taking it literally...

Yeah the whole point is that you are playing stupid.

But it isn't always played for humor (though it can certainly make her giggle). It's like an inside joke you are both in on. You both know the conversation is kind of dumb but you are both having fun and feeling comfortable so what does it matter?

More so it is to just simplify the conversation, which helps build comfort and momentum, makes it easier to lead the convo to seductive topics. The whole point is that you can just kind of go on about simple ("stupid") things with a girl and that often works in your favor over a lot of "deeper" more intellectual things which can end up being to heady and boring.

It's crucial that it feels natural though, because if it feels forced or try hard it won't land. It will either feel dancing monkey, or even come across as condescending. Your presence is key and you are still maintaining a masculine, flirtatious vibe.

Also, as an older dude I think this is actually quite disarming in younger women. It makes the convo very approachable for them.

 

[POB]

When they ask me what I do for living, I just say:
"Please promise me you won't laugh...
(pause)
I'm a gogo boy.
(pause)
My specialties are playing both cowboy and firefighter.
I do birthdays, bachelorette parties, nightclubs and even afternoon teas...
can do some private dances too if the money is right."

Most of them believe me untill I say I'm just an architect...
but by then they have already bought into my frame of sexy stranger who they can use as a sexual object.
Generally leads into very interesting convos afterwards.

 

[TomInHo]

When they ask me what I do for living, I just say:
"Please promise me you won't laugh...
(pause)
I'm a gogo boy.
(pause)
My specialties are playing both cowboy and firefighter.
I do birthdays, bachelorette parties, nightclubs and even afternoon teas...
can do some private dances too if the money is right."

Most of them believe me untill I say I'm just an architect...
but by then they have already bought into my frame of sexy stranger who they can use as a sexual object.
Generally leads into very interesting convos afterwards.

Sounds about right

I do something similar because I'm in pretty good shape. Great way for setting sexual frames and keeping things light hearted

And from my experience it really does help to play dumb, especially if the girl is very attracted to you and attainability could be an issue

@Skills told me recently about an OG poster called Ijji and his use of Fake Shy Game. I've been playing around with that too and it seems like a great way to drop their guards and make you seem more within reach

But this needs to be calibrated to the girl plus her attraction towards you, and don't think it works in all situations

Because it seems like that style works better for guys that can come across as more intimidating and it's just another tool in the toolbox for building comfort and trust with girls so that you can plow their brains out in a timely manner

It's funny because nowadays I do my best to downplay a lot of things and after girls get to know me better after sex I get more comments like "Oh wow... you're actually intelligent"

Here's a good example btw of how showing too much non sexual value up front can actually hurt you

 

[Rakehell]

Also it is charming because you are this attractive guy who is physically stronger, yet at the same time pose no threat because you’re unassuming and relatable in the sense that you aren’t coming across unrelateable by being too brainy and talking about things she doesn’t care about.

She feels like she has more control.

I wouldn’t even call it acting dumb, its a child like energy, that comes across magnetic. And alot of times they go out of their way to do stuff for you as a result. Like some kind of maternal instinct.

But I also think it pays to be smart just all in how you go about using it (like acting more clueless than you really are). But overall being emotionally smart > book smarts or knowing big words.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Okay so here is the technique. I basically just talk about things very simple and enthusiastically. And when I say "things", I mean literally anything.

I like where this is going already.

approached a girl the other day who was drinking boba tea and after a couple moments of banter I was like "woah, I love boba tea. it's got those cool bubbles, and you sip them through your straw and they are all chewy, but like a good kind of chewy. And the flavors are so good". and so on. Basically the whole time she was just giggling and agreeing with me, and then I pivoted to some other topic and said some stupid shit about that as well. Keep in mind that tone and pacing was important here, I wasn't just throwing all of that at her a mile a minute. I was chill and paced myself and gave her time to respond.

Yes!

Can you see why this builds comfort? it's because it is simple, easy to follow, easy to respond to, inviting, and relatable. Plain and simple. She doesn't have to worry about how to respond. It's easy to talk to a stupid person. Especially if they are charming and warm and easy to be around.

Exactly Simple is easy. Easy is enjoyable.

Done with right fundamentals, it's very attractive. It shows basic social skills (not everything has to be deep; light chatter IS part of the process and gives contrast to deep diving), it shows a nice attitude/positivity (which is attractive), and it doesn't come off as try-hard, which is also attractive.

If you're also typically a really intelligent guy, then it has an even bigger bonus of making you more relatable and trusting, that you're not some snooty intellectual nor are you too-Machiavellian and just putting on an act. You have a more down-to-earth side. This was especially helpful for me because I tended to always be so hard-nosed and demanding.

I also like throwing in dumb questions as well. I was on a date with a girl and we were looking at the sunset on the mountains in the distance and I was like "wow, imagine if we were hiking that mountain. We'd be all sweaty, just getting higher up and higher up. Then we'd be at the top and there'd be an epic view. And we'd just be looking out at it. It'd be so cool. do you like epic views?"

Come on guys, that's a really dumb question. I've also asked woman if she "likes puppies that are fluffy, or not so fluffy". when I was doing this same routine on her but with puppies "I love puppies, they're so cute, the way they are all full of life. Then they bark but they're not even scary, cause you just want to hug them. I like the fluffy ones. Like, a fluffy puppy is the best. Do you like fluffy puppies or not so fluffy puppies?".

Haha, I like it!

I want note here that this is just one aspect of my game. Otherwise it would get old quick. It is just a general tone I bring to the interaction. It usually recedes in prominence the deeper into the seduction I get and is replaced with more deep diving, and sexual tension, and the likes. It is really just a way to build comfort and keep the
conversation simple and playful and easy to engage with.

This is the important bit. If it was your only frame, it would get old quickly and she'd think you're retarded. Maybe if you're hot she might still fuck you, but it hurts you in a lot of ways.

You're showing layers and that's good!

Even my deep dives have taken on a bit of this dumb tone to them. It's like I am dumb, but also genuinely interested, and that genuine interest allows me to ask really observant questions. It's that some warm quality that gives her permission to open up. Because there is no need to put on airs.

We could also call it "naive," rather than dumb, but sometimes the more harsh language does help us counter-act our habitual over-intellectualization. There certainly is an element of stupidity but also naivety.

Very good insights!

Hector