Being TOO mysterious?

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Hey boys,

I have a FR+ to post soon, but my main concern from the event (which was a failed escalation) is...

Is it possible to be TOO mysterious and talk about yourself TOO LITTLE?

Her - "You evade every question I ask about you...I don't like that I have to do all the talking; I feel like I don't know you..."

Her objection to sex was often "I don't know you..." which is of course a sign of not-deep-enough-diving, but I wonder if I played too evasive with personal info. She literally knew nothing about me but my name. She had to stop herself from giving into me every time we got passionate and she was always on the brink of submitting (e.g., would love herself in passion and return to "logical brain" after the passion faded; she even complied one time to my demands and stopped herself halfway, saying "wow, I just did what you told me to do without even thinking about it...why did I comply with you so fast?! That was weird...I don't know what's going on"). She told me I looked like a GQ model, called me super hot, etc etc. Basically, my sexual vibe was off-the-wall, but I believe I failed to properly balance it with warmth.

So returning to my original question, can my sexual vibe be too strong and while be massive attractive to women, might it have them hit a wall, because I'm not warm enough?


I'm drunk, so if this doesn't make sense, lemme know.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Anatman,

If there's one thing I've learned from cold approaching highschoolers. Its that the less experience the girl has with men the more she'll want to know about you. There are many examples of this e.g. (Anastasia Steele & Christian Grey, Elena Gilbert & Stephan Salvatore, Honey-rider and James Bond are perfect models). All these inexperienced girls sought to know more about this mysterious sexy man and eventually did.

Continue to use your sexy vibe, but if a girl presses you for information you could present it in a mysterious brooding fashion as a reward for compliance. Little tidbits of information during the first interaction can make the girl chase for more all the way to your bed. You can still be mysterious by letting her know a bit about you

Post up some questions that she asked you if you can remember them.


-Casanova

I'll be putting up the FR very soon with a lot of dialogue. By the way, she literally said "I feel like I'm in 50 Shades of Grey right now...you're sooooo like Christian Grey." Because even though we didn't get past her hand on my dick, I slapped her, bit her, pulled her hair, and threw her around the room very violently. Like I said, she'd lose herself in the passion but then return to "oh wait, I barely know this guy and I'm about to let him ram his cock down my throat" mindset.

 

[Franco]

Anatman,

Is it possible to be TOO mysterious and talk about yourself TOO LITTLE?

There's a one-word answer for this one: Yes.

Remember, when you're deep-diving with a girl, the idea isn't to not tell her ANYTHING about yourself. The idea is to give a little to get a LOT. One thing you're going to notice is that some girls are more inquisitive than others, so you're going to have to give more to some girls than you do to others, but what you'll often find is that those girls will also give MORE once YOU give more. So it becomes a game of calibrating what you give to get in return.

If you can sense that it feels like you're just "dodging" questions from a girl as opposed to being "mysterious" and "hard to read," then you can believe that she's going to pick up on that and call you out on it. Remember, what you say can also impact how much she FEELS like you're giving her. For example, if you tell her a short story about how you grew up on the streets and had to start your own small business to help pay the bills for your family, then she'll feel like that's something you probably don't tell many people. As a matter of fact, you can even pre-face it with, "well, I don't tell many people this, but..."

Once you give her something that she feels she can connect emotionally with, then all of a sudden she'll be much more likely to do an entire brain dump on you about herself. When that's done, the "deep-diving" connection has been established, and you can even explicitly let her know this by making a comment such as, "I guess there's a lot more to the both of us that we know about each other now than meets the eye." Then give her a sexy smirk, move on to a lighter topic, and invite her home shortly afterward. =)

- Franco

 

[Marty]

Franco:

How do you personally deal with it when girls start asking things that are clearly none of their business, at least certainly not on a first date—such as the nature and scope of my relations with other women?

I even had a lady ask this before the first date, over text. I replied with "Nosy, aren't you? " and continued to arrange the date, ignoring the question, then when she pressed I wrote "You'll just have to keep wondering" to which she responded "LOL!!! You have humor..." and agreed to the date anyway.

That one was easy, but it's not always like that. Any advice will be appreciated.

Thanks
-Marty

 

[Franco]

Marty,

How do you personally deal with it when girls start asking things that are clearly none of their business, at least certainly not on a first date—such as the nature and scope of my relations with other women?

This doesn't really happen too often, so I don't think it's something you should be overly concerned about (although older women will probably do this more commonly because they want to try to get a quick read on you so they know what kind of guy they're dealing with).

I haven't had this happen to me enough to have a strict game-plan for it, but I'd probably just wing it. And usually with things I "wing," I try to come up with best way to use her tactics to my advantage. So, in this case, one example of something I might do here is to try to turn this into a "game" of sorts. I might say something like, "ok, well since you want to know so much about my personal history with women, how about we do a little exchange of information just to make things fair?" I'd probably give her a smirk here, and she might ask, "what did you have in mind?" Then I'd say, "for every one question you ask about women I've dated, I get to ask you one personal question about yourself? Deal?" Then you can work this into asking her sexual questions about what her favorite sex position is or how "rough" she likes it. The goal here wouldn't really be for you to learn anything about her but rather to get her to start thinking sexually about you by asking sexual questions (and probably making sexual comments about her answers).

This is just one way you can handle a woman like this, but I'm sure there are others, and maybe other members on the board have some good ways that they've dealt with this as well. =)

- Franco

 

[Eric]

Anatman,

If there's one thing I've learned from cold approaching highschoolers. Its that the less experience the girl has with men the more she'll want to know about you. There are many examples of this e.g. (Anastasia Steele & Christian Grey, Elena Gilbert & Stephan Salvatore, Honey-rider and James Bond are perfect models). All these inexperienced girls sought to know more about this mysterious sexy man and eventually did.

Continue to use your sexy vibe, but if a girl presses you for information you could present it in a mysterious brooding fashion as a reward for compliance. Little tidbits of information during the first interaction can make the girl chase for more all the way to your bed. You can still be mysterious by letting her know a bit about you

Post up some questions that she asked you if you can remember them.


-Casanova

I'll be putting up the FR very soon with a lot of dialogue. By the way, she literally said "I feel like I'm in 50 Shades of Grey right now...you're sooooo like Christian Grey." Because even though we didn't get past her hand on my dick, I slapped her, bit her, pulled her hair, and threw her around the room very violently. Like I said, she'd lose herself in the passion but then return to "oh wait, I barely know this guy and I'm about to let him ram his cock down my throat" mindset.

Anat, are you my twin seducer?

I get the Christian Grey stuff too. I love getting compliance / investment by doing very dominant stuff as well.

With my ex she didn't know ANYTHING about me until about a month in (and would constantly remind me of this, "god, I don't even know anything about you"), I slept with her in an hour or two? She learned that it was better to just stay out of my head and wait for me to divulge info. In the other thread I told you about the getting secrets from women. I'm guessing it's the same where girls just THROW everything about their life at you within hours? Fun stuff. It's like a barrage of baggage.

I don't think it's the amount they know, it's how much they feel bonded / related. So if you're too mysterious it's not the mystery per se, it's the coldness / unrelatability. If you fix that up and become more human / byronic, she won't need to know more about you and leave you be. A wounded soldier doesn't get asked about the war.

Other things I get are the token responses like "God, you must do this a lot", "Do you do this often?", "Do you move this quickly for all the girls?" -- my best response that I've learned is "For you I ___". So, "For you I will", "For YOU I do". The statements I don't respond to of course, but the very direct questions I throw it back at them. It destroys the probing pretty quickly. "I don't know you..." -- You DON'T need to respond to this, it's a statement. I'd just shrug it off or sit there silent / not moving with my arms behind my head relaxing.

 

[Eric]

I keep thinking of good shit Anat.

Here's how I got past a lot of resistance and her "snapping" back to logic that I'd get.

Just move through the seduction extremely fluidly and quickly.

Here's what I do:

When you go for the first kiss, turn her into you. Ten seconds in or so, or whenever you feel the "hooking point" you put your hand on her arm and lean over onto your back. This'll move her on top with absolutely no resistance (because it's so fluid). The sooner you do this transition the better (even within seconds of the first kiss), it lionizes you (oh I get to sit here and she does all the work). From there you put your hands on her bottom, with no downtime from the transition, and shove down her pants. Work the bottom, no hands on the breasts, I don't even bother anymore.. it brings up the logic "oh he's touching my breasts, we're about to have sex, abort abort slow down", just extra bullshit resistance you don't need to bother with. She'll take the top off herself before or during sex. If you just focus on the bottom she'll think you're just going to finger her and that's that, doesn't need to bring up her defense walls.

Any downtime from kissing you can throw in the pornstar style comments, "God, you are so fucking sexy", the grabbing of the neck and choking, the light slapping of the face, the smacking of the bottom, etc. When she's on top sitting up, and trying to take a break, you can just grab her neck like you're choking it, but then pull her back in while you are on your back.

30 seconds to a minute of this, roll her onto her side / back and unbutton. From here you can fingerbang her a bit (DON'T make her cum from this, DO NOT), but really you want to RIP her pants off in one go (skirts are fun to throw down when they are standing. The wide eyes they give you hah). They'll get stuck on the foot, give it a second tug and throw across the entire room. You can grab her foot and pull her towards you if you'd like. Fingerbang for a little, roll her on top of you again using the same transition style of kissing + pulling the arm. Then get your pants off and just lay there on your back with a massive erection. Any resistance / statements you just flat out stay silent to / ignore to her face. Maintain eye contact. Any direct questions you just go "For you I do" with a sly smile. She'll either give a bj or just give in and go "eh, fuck it" and sit on it.

Laying on your back lionized is the best position in my opinion for dealing with resistance, because any time you get any you get to shrug it off and lay around. When you aren't on your back you are the one making the moves and pushing for sex. When you are on you're back the feeling is like "lol, okay, cool, do what you want, you're the one on top and pushing for sex".

Car sex works pretty much EXACTLY the same, except the transition is using the spot behind her knee instead of her elbow/tricep.

 

[johnydones]

You can be too mysterious for sure , i went overboard recently , and a girl i slept with told me

"you have a mask on all the time , i dont know much about you , and i can't reach to get to know the real you ..."

Talk about your past a bit , your childhood or something , mine sucked so i try to avoid it.

-JD

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

All of these responses help me immensely. Franco, your clarification of deep diving is spectacular; guess I became too enthralled with being a "mystery" that I became cold and unrelatable, as Eric illustrated.

I have like 10 numbers I'm working on translating to dates/hookups, so I'll let you guys know what happens.

Eric, I'll definitely try out your "lionizing" escalation technique. But let's definitely still become every girl's persona Christian Grey