Being turned to for advice

[demainor]

Hey guys,

l was just wondering if any of you have noticed this. Recently, l have come to find that the number of girls who come to me about advice regarding their lifes has been increasing. normally l would think it was friend zoning, but since l normally cut this off quickly with girls am sexually interested in and delete their contacts when l see we are not heading in the same direction,l noticed this with the female friends of mine coming to me instead of other males in our social circle has been increasing. yet another worrying trend is how they trust my words implicitly, its as if they think l am the solution and whatever l tell them they implement without question no matter how much l tell them they should take it all with a pinch of salt.

I have had to now tailor my advice to neither telling them yes or no. Just try to help them understand the consequences of the various paths opening up to them and leaving the decision to them, and they hate it. One of them actually said "so tell me whether or not to do this"(break up with current b.f). Now these are people l happen to care for, we are good friends, but l don't think its healthy for either of us for me to make decisions for them. Anyway. Just wanted to hear what experiences you guys may have had out there.

 

[Drck]

"I have had to now tailor my advice to neither telling them yes or no. Just try to help them understand the consequences of the various paths opening up to them and leaving the decision to them, and they hate it. One of them actually said "so tell me whether or not to do this"(break up with current b.f)"

>>>>
It is not an advice they are seeking from you. She finds you attractive and she is testing waters. She is saying: "Hey, I am this close to break up with my BF. I'm letting you know that it is not serious between me and him, so I am pretty much free. What you gonna do about it - are you interested?".

You then give her a different paths of her choice, which of course she doesn't like. She already knows all of her paths. It makes her frustrated because she doesn't care about your rational advice from which you - most likely - excluded yourself...

At the same time be careful because it is not just black and white. She may not want to become your GF or sleep with you necessary, all she may want is to find out whether you find her attractive or not, or if you will start pursuing her or not. She may be just looking for your reactions. In other words, it might just be a tease, which is frustrating.

Here is the situation: She finds you attractive, and she knows that other girls also find you attractive. She may know, or heard, or have the impression that you slept with X women fast, so basically she knows you are a lover/seducer. So she is testing the waters, she may have never met a guy who is lover/seducer, she is giving you the opportunity to seduce her. You are the unknown waters which she dreams of, which is exciting to her so she is opening the opportunity for you to 'get her'. (then you try to give her some logical advice, which of course frustrates her)

In analogy, it is as if she got naked in front of you, looked at you with sexy smiles, and started to run - expecting that you will be chasing. But as you know, you can't chase, especially not in this situation because she is ready to run very fast, and the chances that she will out-run you are high.

So you sort of have to remain nonreactive to her 'offer', yet at the same time make it clear that yes, the possibility is there - should she show that she is really interested (e.g. compliant, and follow you to the place of your choice)...

 

[demainor]

hmm, that would have been a great assessment if we had known each other well. You see, with this particular girl, l had been walking home when l saw a cute dark girl sitting outside the school church and l decided fuck it, let me say hi. I could see she was in deep thought so l open and ask if l can sit next to her. I say that its seems she's undergoing a lot for her to come to outside the church on a thursday evening. Tells me theres a lot going on so l say that am God's answer to her questions and she should tell me and l'll help her come to a solution. after the long talk, we come to the point where she actually wants me to make the decision for her.

And this trend is happening a lot, my best friend, whose also a girl, has also been asking and taking my advice more and more, and she hates it when l don't tell her whether or not to do something but leave it to her to choose. Got other female friends who this is happening with. and these are chicks we aren't even engaged in sexual activities or are interested in me in that way, one's a virgin who is not even comfortable with kissing and yet another is in a steady relationship.

I don't know, maybe am reading too much.