Best Course of Action?

[JimmyB]

Hi, I'm early 20s, still in College. There's a girl I've known for 2 years - when we met, we were both super into each other from the start. She's conservative, only had a few boyfriends before, nothing outside that from what I know. We were only in the same place for a weekend. We nearly had sex but didn't. Stayed in occasional contact, but nothing too much. Fast forward a year later, I see her again a few times, we eventually have sex and it was amazing. She's never had sex outside of a relationship. I see her again but we don't have sex. She's into me but things seem a bit different. Fast forward again 6 months. We see visit each other for a few weekends. No sex.
So, to the point. I plan to be in the same area as this girl for summer (we haven't been close to eachother before). I would definitely be in a relationship with this girl if it works out.
Do I ask her about a relationship? If so, how should I go about talking about it? Do I try to just have sex first and progress from there? What would be your advice for progressing with this girl?

 

[ray_zorse]

It does not really look good. If you don't have sex, or at least try to, each time you hang out, it's a ticket to the friendzone. My guess is you probably wanted to have sex and didn't push for it, letting her set the frame. Particularly with a girl you've already bedded, your focus should be on making her "your girl" and according to advice I've received from GC, a guide might be approximately 3 dates in which you bang her.

Having said that, if you genuinely weren't able to be together or logistics weren't good, then by all means give it another shot. I mean, give it a shot anyway, but don't be a pussy about it. The difficulty with these kinds of situations is you think about her a lot and become over invested (from your post I wouldn't be surprised if you are over invested). But, as you become a more experienced seducer, then you develop a kind of inner confidence that you will be able to do the needful when the time comes, and it becomes less of an anxiety-producing situation. So I'd just forget about her until you see her, then push a little and see what develops. Whatever you do, don't become needy. Your desire for a relationship from this girl, whom you are not even currently dating, sounds a bit needy IMO. So definitely try to keep your mind off that!!

Ray

Edit: Referring to Chase's ebook, "let's be boyfriend and girlfriend" is a very weak beginning to a relationship. You want her to be chasing and knowing you're a seducer and not knowing if she can get you locked in.

 

[Sub-Zero]

You got to keep hitting that bro, you can't have a good relationship with a girl if you can't hit it now, you gotta rock her world then she'll be the one to chase for a relationship.

 

[JimmyB]

hey guys, thanks for the replies. Ray, I think you're spot on. I'll go out and meet other girls.
I have a good amount of experience but not with relationships.
We slept in the same bed a few nights, I initiated, but didn't push hard to get past her resistance.
What do you think about making it clear when we're in the same area (in a few months) that I don't want to hang out unless we're actually together? She said she doesn't want to have sex outside of a relationship. Is it too explicit to say if she doesn't want to have sex then I'm not really interested? If she couldn't agree to that, I wouldn't want to be with her anyways. Not from a selfish standpoint, but more of a commitment standpoint. It might set a better frame to eliminate dawdling. What do you think?

 

[ray_zorse]

I think you are probably overthinking shit.

She's not going to sign a contract saying I'll have sex with you if you agree to meet me. So your only real option is to set up a meeting with her, and push forward at that meeting, and see what eventuates.

If you feel it's a nogo at that point, then just don't contact her anymore. If she contacts you in that situation, then that's the time to make things clear. Just be honest. "I find you interesting and of course I would have liked to hang out with you, but given I want to get into your pants[she knows this because you persisted hard] and you're after something different, I just don't think it is going to work, do you?"

Ray