Hey ZacAdam, sorry I took so long to answer. I was in a trip with no internet
There is something true of what you say about myself. I am very theorist. I usually like to know A LOT before jumping in. It's not that I forget everything, not at all. I'm pretty much aware of the things I have to try to do (although it doesn't mean I will perform perfect, surely, I won't). I think that is a problem. I think maybe I want to be really good and perform great because I have the tools, but deep down I know the uncertainty and that theory is not field (practice), so I guess my problem lays there.
I will talk you about myself, bear with me:
I haven't had much success with women but not because I couldn't. I'm a good looking guy. But I have had many many many years (like 7-8) in which I just closed myself to the world. I just studied and surfed. Just that (I must add: I had sex, but it found me, not the other way around. Also, not the girls I really like but they were not ugly or I wouldn't have done anything).
I experience loneliness (which I really appreciate a lot because I'm not longer a dependent guy like before) and one day I thought
I had to change, just like that. Before this I was already reading stuff about women, but mostly psychology (not really pickup blogs, books), and some years later a book a friend recommend me about PUA: The Game by Neil Strauss. I liked the book but not the idea of "performing" so I didn't thought it was for me such an unnatural way. It was the first time I discovered the PUA world although I didn't dig up much about it because of the pick-up-lines-acting-unnatural-focus way of it's method. I read a lot about women because, although I was not going out, I was sure that I could be with really good looking girls (my theorist side) and I could help me when the time came.
Well, to change I started with being social. I knew being social was important for relating with women. I started talking to people (man, women) for directions, whatever I needed... this was easy to accomplish because when I was a child I was really social. After this I started training engaging girls (which I was never really good). So I did this with girls who have to be nice with you, that is cashiers, models (the ones standing up promoting something), etc. After this I thought that I should start talking to girls in the streets. I was really afraid and the whole idea was to do it, to beat this fear. After approaching girls walking on the street saying whatever I thought that the best method should be direct. Because you really have no excuse. And the funny thing about this is that the first girl I use this method on end up having sex with me. We got together 3 days later and it happened (I will add that she was a hot girl that happened to be in the Miss Peru contest for that year).
It is really funny because I decided to stop doing it after I score with this girl. I thought: "Okay, i can do it". The reason I stopped it is because I like girls that are really top notch, and I thought that approaching girls in the street was kinda creepy/weird, so, if I started doing this with girls I REALLY liked they would most probably be from my social circle (Lima is not that big, really, and usually hot girls are from mid-high to high class... my social class). So my train of thought was that if I did it a lot, some day I would be in some place where a girl I approached will be there, and maybe she will remember me: there is the creepy guy who approached me in the middle of the street to hit on me. At that time, that was something I didn't want. Like, I'm killing opportunities with girls that way. I guess I was not thinking in numbers (the post of Chase about thinking about numbers, "lots of girls out there"). Knowing this, even now, I'm not even sure about approaching girls on the streets. Maybe it is stupid because it's most likely people forget faces easily (I don't, so that's why I kinda think people will remember me) or at least it is a compliment for her (if you don't get anything she will definitely feel good for you being nice to her)
Up until this, I did'nt went to discos/bars because I had the idea I had made about those places years before: I can't hit on girls there. I end up blowing when I approach girls. I was younger when I did this and almost always didn't end good. I approached the good looking girls and did't worked out. Now I'm pretty sure is the way I did it back then: Unconfident, scared, nervous. And for sure girls sensed that and it was bad. Then reacting to her emotions (she is not being receptive, being cold, and I get worst). Well, that's something I didn't know when I was really young so I hated those places. But after all my training I thought I had to go to those places and the first night I have it tattooed in my head. It was amazing. I remember thinking to myself before going: "Okay, you know you can do it. You are a good looking guy. Walk straight, don't look at all (yes, I had already discovered this things about fundamentals by my own. Even elite eye contact, etc.). You are the man and you can be with any girl". To make it short, I didn't end up with no one but it was the feeling I got from it. That thing about girls chasing you so you talk to them, i had it that first night. I was flirting with 3 different girls, etc. I was really excited that I had to call my brother and a friend when I went out. After this I started going out like crazy each weekend: I had to.
But that's it. I couldn't get more. Is like I had some kind of interesting thing about me to girls but I didn't approach. All my demons where back. The only difference is I know I got noticed and I know I can get girls. Then I started looking for PUA. And I found Chase. This is a method I like: Natural. It is yourself, not an acting facade. But now I'm having problems. I can't talk to girls on the streets. They are walking, not even looking at you, minding their own business, now I find it harder. I don't know, I think when I did it the first time it was something I had to do to loose the fear, but now that I've experienced that I could perform in a discos/bar I don't want to do it again in the street (because of the reasons I told before). But, of course, I'm not doing anything when I'm in discos/bars yet.
I guess not approaching women for such a long time has had me rusted. Because I didn't do it a lot when I approached on the street so It was always really hard. Maybe I talked to 15 girls on the street tops! And after sleeping with the one (the only one I did a direct opener) I stopped. So, it never become a part of me. So now, I'm having problems because of that.
Right now I'm in Chile for at least 6 months, so, I'm trying to improve here. Taking the opportunity of not being at my country to practice a lot and become better. But up until now I'm not seizing it.
Thanks for the patience to anyone who read this.
PS: It's really funny and amazing for me that a LOT of things that I found in Chase method were stuff I had found for myself (some fundamentals like posture, elite eye contact, mannerism, direct openers, etc.). That is why I really liked this method. Because it had things I know worked so I really believe in the guy. And I have learned many other things here I did bad, and that I know are true. Not because he says so, but because I have read so much on women psychology that I can really associated with that.
