Boring Girls

[Howell]

Hey, I found a thread sort of covering this topic, but not quite.

Some girls I approach will act and just be absolutely boring, and I was wondering how to handle that.


I remember in high school this one girl, Amy, had a huge crush on me. All her friends knew it, and would remind me of that fact. However, when I got her out on a date, she wouldn't talk or answer any questions with anything but "I don't know" or "Sure."

I've approached a good number of girls who either act boring, answering questions in dull, monotone voices, or are boring, where they literally having nothing interesting about them to talk about.

What do you do and how do you handle these girls?

Extra question: I've met girls that really like to talk about people they know and the drama in their social circle/environment. How do you connect with girls who only like to talk about people that you don't know?

Hello Fox,

A girl acting this way could be because of a number of reasons. First off, she could just be a dull person. But assuming she's not, it could be because, since everyone knows she's' into you, her reputation is at risk. So discretion is out the window, and she thus has to move carefully to avoid damaging her reputation.

Aside from the social circle explanation, girls also put on a bored front sometimes if you haven't done a good job getting them intrigued, if you moved too slow and they lose faith in you, or if you failed to show that you are a high value man.

They will quickly close off to you and begin thinking of you as someone who it was for the best that they didn't get anywhere with.

Usually when a girl acts bored like this, the core problem is that you've failed to make her feel connected and intrigued. It can be auto-rejection from you seeming too unattainable, or it can be rejection from you appearing too low value.

One thing you could try is when a girl starts acting bored, just call her out on it. For example:

• Her: Sure, I guess.
  
  You: Hey, are you okay? You're acting sort of weird. Distracted.
  
  Her: What do you mean?
  
  You: Do you always get defensive like this?

After this, if she's at all interested in you or wants to maintain face, she basically has to start opening up to you more.

Howell

P.S. For girls who talk about people I don't know, I generally do the same thing: call them out on their behavior. Usually people just aren't aware of it or that it's impolite and not conducive to building a good connection. Set the expectation early that social butterfly gossip mode is not how they should behave around you, and they'll get the message pretty fast usually.

With the complex of issues you've brought up, it almost certainly is a problem with being too attainable and not front-loading your value. Become the man who walks away from shit he doesn't tolerate, and the girls will follow more doggedly (or perhaps "foxedly" ).

 

[Franco]

Fox,

Just to add to what Howell already said, some girls are just dull and/or nervous, and they tend to be short-winded because of it. With girls that you already know seem very into you (like Amy from your past), it's best just to move extremely quickly with them. These girls usually aren't very socially calibrated, and they often don't give you any resistance to you moving things more quickly because they aren't sure how to, OR if they give you resistance, it will be very weak, and a little persistence usually pushes right past it.

So, if she seems relatively interested but just short-winded in her responses, then just cut your date short and try to get her home sooner rather than later.

- Franco