Bounded to Mastery Journal

[Bounded]

Hey all,

These notes are muddled with jargon from a book called Talent is Overrated by Geoff Colvin. He goes through different methods of deliberate practice, including a Sports Model ("conditioning", where you improve the baseline skill of an activity; "Specific Skill Development", where you focus on solving variable situations), a Music Model (where you break down the key components of a certain activity, and practice each component individually), and a Chess Model (where the answer is arbitrary, and you juxtapose your answer with a master's answer) of learning.

So I kick this journal off with a top-down approach to my goals, whereby I figure out my master goals first, and determine how to get there, and then determine how to get to that previous step.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Goals:

• To substantially increase the quality of girls that I sleep with

• To substantially raise my social value for both romantic and friendly circumstances

• Learn the in's and out's of achieving mastery

How to do:

• Use the Sports model of Deliberate Practice
  • Conditioning: Fundamentals
  • Specific Skill Practice: "Gaming Techniques"
• Use Chess and Music models of Deliberate Practice in conjuction with these two activities

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A list of Fundamentals to achieve:

Body:
- Posture
- Eye Contact
- Walk
- Mannerisms
- Other Body Fundamentals

Vocal:
- Basic Vocal
- Advanced Vocal

Social:
- Social Power
- Conversing
- Social Momentum

Fashion:
- Interesting Accessories
- Facial Hair


Specific Skill Practice:
- Sexual Talk
- Sexual Frames
- Overcoming LMR
- Push-Pull
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

My goal is to have all of these fundamentals handled by 01/01/2016. That's exactly 6 months from tomorrow. If I'm successful, I'm sure it's going to break the plateau preventing me from sleeping with quality women and overcoming LMR during physical escalation.

The big issue is, right now, that I have trouble sticking to any individual fundamental. So I do a week's worth of practice, then forget to do it for a couple days, and I'm back to square 1. It's all about cementing the habit the first time around. The aim of the journal is to add accountability and clarity to the mix so I don't stop before the habit is formed.

I'll just go ahead and start this journal off by typing my first entry for today.

Keep me accountable, fellas

- Bounded

 

[Bounded]

Hey dudes,

On my fundamentals today:

- Posture: I'm good about posture when I'm standing up normally, but there are basically two problems I have with consistently great posture

• A lack of seats in my house that allow for good posture
• Falling out of posture in high-pressure situations (especially in conversation)
  
  • Solutions: Find a chair, and designate that as the chair I sit on for the day, bringing it around with me if I must. Keeping posture at the forefront of my mind during conversations. I also bought this cool little gadget that vibrates every time your spine is out of line: http://www.lumobodytech.com/

- Walk: I'm great about it when I'm by myself. Again, the problem here is that when I'm with people or in conversation, I start walking very plainly.

• • Solutions: Will keep this at the forefront of my mind for those high-pressure situations, especially. Work is a great area to practice this, as I'm walking around with colleagues and conversing all day. Perfect.

These are the two easiest fundamentals to practice, so they'll act as a model for the rest.

The learning curve of a fundamental looks as thus:
- Not even sure how to perform the fundamental, so you bumble while learning
- You figure out how to do the fundamental to a good level, but you only do it while you remember to do so
- The habit is starting to form, and you remember to do the habit most of the time, but you falter during high-pressure situations

Not sure what the next part is, but we shall see!

- Bounded

 

[Bounded]

Entry for today -

Despite having some moderate-severe rosacea on my face and mega-flaky skin, I still had some cute girls flirting with me hard today, grabbing my arm and stuff while I was teasing them. Lol?? I see it either that my attainability rose, so girls can be more openly flirty, or that I have good fundamentals to back me up (which my posture was decent...but I don't remember being amazing?). Those interactions changed my paradigm of how I attractive I have to be to get attraction - which is not very.

On the actual fundamentals -

Posture: Seems to just be chugging as usual. Not quite devoting as much thought as before to have great posture, but I still feel myself slouching every so often during a conversation.

- Solution: For every conversation have, bring posture at the forefront of my thoughts. There's a noticeable change in the interaction with great posture - the conversation just feels much more enjoyable.

Walking: This fundamental I've practiced a lot on, purposely going on walks or making grocery trips or taking the long way home just so I can practice more walking. So my walk is starting to become second-habit, which feels great - that has a noticeable shift on the feeling of conversations I have as well. Still, I need to make sure I've been practicing the walk right so I'm not making an idiot of myself.

- Solution: I'll have my brother video record my walk and compare it with the runway model walks on Youtube tomorrow.

Till then, ciao niggas.

- Bounded

 

[Bounded]

Howdy fellas,

Decided that if I really want to make that next leap forward, that I ought to start working on some social abilities. Positively glad that I did - I really hadn't realized all the little faux pas I'd been making! Just read through Faux Pas of the Sociaux Nouveaux. I thought to myself "I wouldn't make social mistakes like that!" Yet, just for the couple hours I've been aware about it, I've already caught myself slipping up a few times.

There are a couple things that I'll need to start reinforcing, and I'll be doing it down to the 'T' from the article:

- Too many "I"s and not enough "you"s: This one I need to be particularly conscious about when there is a social value disparity between the other person and I. I'll just talk too much on myself. Social savvy people focus on the other person feeling included and asking questions about the other person. Add more interactivity.

- Stories that entertain but don't intrigue: No more one-sided stories; only use those as a structured conversation. So still ask questions like you would in a normal conversation. It's more intriguing and more enjoyable. Also, avoid using "this is the biggest story of THE century!!!"-esque tones, and dial it down to normal conversation status.

- Failure to treat others as equals: Social novices will generally word their statements in a very commandeering manner. The better way is to use an inclusive tone. Therefore, instead of saying "Come out with us tonight, man! It's gonna be sick!", you might say, "What are you doing tonight, man? All the boys are catching up, would be great to have you there!"

Now I just need some scenarios to use these in, that I can really practice. The first and third one I can only practice when I'm out with people, and by consciously focusing on it. The second one is easier - I'll practice by jotting down stories that use a lot of interactivity on my computer.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Posture and Walk I worked on today. These aren't sapping up so much of my focus, so I'm adding social fundamentals. Didn't use the video recorder to assess the walk - that's OK, I'll just need to make sure it happens on Thursday, instead.

Ciao for now,

- Bounded

 

[Bounded]

Hey all,

Today's entry will be short, because I'm just about to pass out.

Worked on fundamentals during work today which, because I'm in sales, is the real test of whether or not a habit is cemented. My walk and posture kept slipping, but the good news is I kept correcting it.

The social fundamentals were much harder, but that's to be expected when they're new. What's great is I can see all this area for potential improvement that I hadn't before.

I've got more to add, and fresh memories of interactions today that I can examine tomorrow.

Till then,

- Bounded

 

[Bounded]

Hey peeps,

Some realizations after practicing these out yesterday:

Too many "I"s and not enough "you"s

There was an interesting relationship here: the times I felt like I was forcing rapport were also the times I was using too many "you"s. When I started using "I" statements in there as well, it minimized that effect.

On a related note, with a really high-value acquaintance of mine at work, I can't seem to build much a relationship with him, and I also happen to be feeling as though I'm forcing rapport. I seem to be doing that by qualifying him when I don't need to, therefore, looking like I'm trying to build a relationship actively.

Here's what rapport means: bringing out value, generating investment, and actively maintaining attainability - and you do all three through conversation.

- A natural conversation uses the same amount of "I"s and "You"s
- Use "we" and "us" as much as possible without overdoing it after you've managed a certain level of rapport between the two of you

Stories that entertain but don't intrigue

This seems to be the difference between the male's and female's conversational styles. I seem to be flowing in and out of them, but I can now look back and think of all the times where a girl has interrupted me in the middle of a story to relate and I became mildly annoyed. I don't really remember working on this too much yesterday. The solution here is to bring this fundamental to the forefront of any story I'm telling: ask questions, and make the story full of excitement. Later I'll script questions and responses on relatability. Will also make a "story of the week" that I make every week, strengthening this skill through repeated practice.

Failure to treat others as equals

This is the one I was working on a lot, yesterday. Basically, I wasn't teasing anybody. This did two things simultaneously: first, I felt as though I was just a bit more boring, second, I felt like my rapport developed. I think my over-teasing would strain the conversation, but I also took it out of places that may have needed it. Like how antibiotics kills both good and bad bacteria. Solution here is to tease the people who are in their element, and take it easy on the people who don't feel 100% comfortable - with the severity of the tease being proportional to their comfort level.

^ Just realized I had the wrong idea in mind when discussing that third point, but probably still aids in the learning process, so it can stay.

Probably 3 or 4 times did I have to stop myself yesterday from using "I think it'd be great if you did this", and other commandeering requests. I did switch out a couple of them, I think into something like, "have you tried doing it this away, yet?" There was another slightly unrelated situation where I disagreed about which team leader my friend who was just recruited went to. Instead of approaching it directly and questioning authority where it wasn't super important, I built rapport about recent events with him, and then brought it up somehow like "so you recruited my friend the other day, hey?" where we got into conversation about him, and then I said something like "you think you'll keep him on X's team for the long run?" I felt like this was good because it wasn't imposing on his decision-making progress, but gave me insight to why he was placed on that team. This was also good, because the subject "naturally" came to him justifying his decision, which would've made it easier for me to ask further questions, placing me in the power position of the conversation.

So, all together, here are the solutions:
- Use the same amount of "I"s and "You"s, and then when a certain amount of rapport has been built, start converting some of those into "we"s and "us"s
- Ask more questions during stories to keep them really interactive and structured like a normal conversation
- Keep paying attention to commandeering requests, and replace them with a more inclusive, work-together type tone

- Bounded

 

[Bounded]

Hey gents,

Had my first night out in a long time. Well, that's a lie - I went out last weekend as well. But what's interesting is that they both had the same thing in common: me just chilling in the backgrounds and girls either opening me, or complimenting me. It feels out of place...here I was before, I thought, handsome as a devil with my style and fundamentals, only to find out that when I have a staph infection on top of rosacea on my face, I'm getting way better reception from girls..?

I guess it makes a bit of sense. Both times I was out with a friend, and the friend has done all the work of getting people engaged, and then because I'm hanging out with the guy, they feel comfortable opening me.

But this night in particular grabs my attention. I'll jot down what happened:

I'm out busking with my friend Ben, and we decide we'll go to the clubs tonight. We walk into Bar 1, where everybody is relatively comfortable in their own social circles, so we decide to dance. Thing is, Ben dances very well, and I've never danced before. So he's giving me a few pointers, and I get the jist of it down. It's for sure a skill like any other.

We decide Bar 1 is too hot for dancing, and decide to swing to Bar 2, where we know the music is great and the vibe is chill as can be. We enter the bar and, while there's no dance floor or area per se, we start dancing in an open area pretty much immediately. One couple decides to join us. A little later on, two girls whom become the central part of our story start dancing next to us as well. At first, we're not paying much attention to them (well, as much not paying attention as you can give with two pretty girls dancing next to you), and keep dancing with the other folks on the floor.

The event that I think grabbed the girls attention is when Ben started breakdancing in the middle of the floor, and everybody was cheering him on. I stayed quietly in the background. I end up sitting on the couch facing the dance area, and I see man after man attempting to dance and talk with our chicks in question. I felt I knew we were going to be talking with each other later on in the night, but because I haven't talked to any girls for a potential seduction for a long while, it made me nervous to think about. I was shaking, actually.

That's when one of those girls made eye contact with me, and I smiled back. She walked over to me, and said:

Her: You look so serious sitting on this couch!
Me: No way, I'm obviously the life of the party! (smiles)
(small tidbit of conversation I can't remember; hoping I get better at remembering dialogues soon, those are gonna be very helpful)
Me: Here, why don't you sit down?

She sits down, and I ask her how she's enjoying the night. She says she's enjoying it. I can't remember in sequential order how the conversation went, but she regaled stories of her backpacking through the country, how she wants to get a tatoo, her love of art and music. Some other things. But I was getting a lot of investment out of her, I really couldn't believe that was even happening. I was shaking quite visibily, and she could definitely see that, I thought. But nah, never mentioned it. After a while I ask her name, she says it's Lisa. I said for being Dutch, she has a really American name. Then she reached into her shirt and pulled out a driver's licence from Holland, and the name was way longer (Dutch names, man...you ever seen them?) I said she had a good picture on her card, and that I was jealous. She said why? I told I've got a picture on me that to this day I regret taking. She asked if she could see it. I said she had to say please. She did. Then I said she had to ask please very sexually. Oh man, she bit her lips and everything. So hot.

Anyway, then her friend comes over, and the one I'm talking to leaves to sit next to Ben, who's now beside me on the couch. This gal was not as easy to open up, but open up she did. We got into a decent conversation as well, but I could see the first girl I talked to was looking a bit bored. Ben's a great looker, but ain't a great talker. I try and get her attention to bring her back into things, but she got up and started talking to someone she'd spoken to earlier. Damn, well, let's see if we can fix that. I don't want to chase, so I never end up leaving the couch.

As the night continues, this second girl is becoming really into us, and asking which club we ought to go after this one. Unfortunately, the first girl decided she wanted to grab a ride back home with the guys she came with in the first place, and call it a night. Shucks. Well, there's a possible chance we see them tomorrow while busking since the second girl said she really wanted to see us. We'll see, hey?

-------------------------------------------

Key things I was working on:
- Not forcing rapport: letting the silence happen, and having her invest by picking up the conversation. Done in moderation.
- Using the same amount of "You"s and "I"s: I could feel the effect on the conversation - it made it feel really natural. Awesome.
- Not teasing or acting aloof: with some girls it's important to start off a conversation aloof or ball-busting, but otherwise attainability was in check in natural rapport.

I'll do a bit of dissecting tomorrow after I get some sleep.

Peace out,

- Bounded

 

[ray_zorse]

Solid work brother. One thing you might want to consider is moving her. Some time into the conversation, if she's investing, say something like "let's sit over there, it's quieter there" or "let's go to the bar" etc. The first time move her only a few metres (if you think she might be a tough nut to crack), then the next time, over to the other side of the club etc (away from cockblocking friends who might come check on her), and the third time maybe suggest getting out of there and grabbing a hot drink, or some other excuse to leave the crowd, chill and hang out. Also try to grab her number early on, just in case of the unexpected (I usually say something like "here, put your number in here, it would be a bummer to get separated in the crowd")... and lastly, some more approach action would increase chances of similar convo.
Ray

 

[Bounded]

Handy tips there, Ray! Thanks for the help.

3 recommended improvements:
- Escalate investment
- Grab number
- Approach more

----------------------------------------

My original draft was deleted, so I'll just jot down the key points I had earlier:

- Wanting to practice too many improvements at once; need to write down a sheet with "improvements on fundamentals/game to do"

- Arc of my stories are so far going:

Question for relation ("have you ever had X happen to you?") --> explain story with more questions of relation --> reach climax of story --> question of relation or wrap it up to intro ("how nuts is that? That's why I don't deal with drunk people on the tram anymore")

- Read FR's and LR's of other people to note what details are most relavent to write down in my own FR/LR's, and which other details I ought to be ignoring (such as adding in sexual frames, and taking out the detail that I was shaking with nervousness)

-----------------------------------------

Fundamentals I'll be working on today:

- Using equal "You" s and "I"s, still. But this time, "We" and "Us" must be used twice per person after a certain level of rapport is reached
- Being in either perfect posture or, "chill and taking up space" mode. Keep an eye on walk during conversations
- Use a question of relation or tie it back to intro at the end of each story

- Bounded

 

[Bounded]

Working on improvements from yesterday:

Using equal "You" s and "I"s, still. But this time, "We" and "Us" must be used twice per person after a certain level of rapport is reached

Haven't talked to many new people yesterday or today - but I've been inserting "we" statements in conversations with my friends of mine lately. Realizing something though: you use old habits with old friends, and kickstart new habits with new friends. Seems like most of my improvement is going to come from meeting new people that have higher social value than me and forcing myself to raise my own social value through practicing these fundamentals.

Conversations are flowing noticeably easier through the level playing act of "you" and "I". This is starting to become a habit, but going to keep a lot of focus here to make sure it's cemented. Might spend the next 2 weeks or so to continue deliberately practicing this.

Being in either perfect posture or, "chill and taking up space" mode. Keep an eye on walk during conversations

Hanging out a friends for most of this weekend, without adequate chairs to maintain posture, I allowed myself to slip a bit on posture and walk. I knew it would; got to be careful about that sort of stuff.

Practiced walk and posture for about an hour today anyway, so that was good. The challenge before was having average posture most of the time. Now, the challenge has changed to having excellent posture all the time. Same with walk.

Use a question of relation or tie it back to intro at the end of each story

Haven't been too conscious about this one since yesterday. Man, I need a better way to remember which 3 improvements I'm working on for the day. Maybe I can have an alarm go off every 2 hours with a little text about the goals of the day to remind me. I'll do that right now, actually.

Solutions:
- Work on same 3 fundamentals as yesterday
- Write down a to-do list for future fundamentals and game improvements, immediately

- Bounded

 

[Bounded]

Practiced walk and posture for an hour today.

Also have been filling up my mind with many different articles. Thinking it's going to be time soon to drop the books and hit the field hard.

A great article I read yesterday called "Getting Past Small Talk" was excellent in describing how to make the easy transition to talking with new people. Offer more detail, relate when possible, and ask the right questions.

Anyway, I'll get back to basics tomorrow with what I was practicing before. "You"s, "I" s, and "We"s, etc. Storytelling as a conversation, and posture/walk.

- Bounded

 

[Bounded]

Alright gents,

I've decided to slightly alter my strategy for fundamentals - I'm going to focus on all body fundamentals, then move to all voice fundamentals, then all social fundamentals, and finally fix up my fashion (which really only needs a couple tweaks at this point).

The next announcement is that, in 2 days, my posture and walk will be done, and I can move on to the next fundamentals, which will be Eye Contact and Slowness/Deliberateness. I'm excited to try this new pair out!

For now, I've cooked up a new strategy to deliberately practice fundamentals - split the fundamental up into pieces and tackle it from there. So, walk:
- Shoulder swag
- Thighs spaced far apart, to make feet in line
- Straight feet, rather than splayed to the side
- Good posture
- Arms moving back and forth gracefully
- Not looking constantly around, but mostly forward

That last bit is what I need to work on still. For posture, it's having feet straight and spaced shoulder-width apart while standing.

So, last things to work on for Posture and Walk:
- Feet stay straight
- Not looking around, but mostly straight while walking
- Create a "slow" walk for small distances
- Maintaining good posture while kneeling and such

The "slow" walk will involve slightly less shoulder swagger, but should otherwise be the exact same thing.

The last thing is to make sure these fundamentals are secured, even while under pressure, or while talking to people. I'll have to periodically check myself during these sorts of situations - but long term, I've figured that if I practice and focus on them enough in low-pressure situations, they'll naturally extend to higher pressure situations.

So, things to do tomorrow:
- Go on a walk to practice not looking around, scatterdly
- Feet stay straight whole day
- Practice "slow" walk

- Bounded

 

[Bounded]

In the time I've been gone, I've established a few new habits:

- Continually pushing my comfort zone
- Both day and night gaming on Friday and Saturday, and day gaming on Thursday and Sunday
- Taking cold showers every morning
- Going to the gym 4 times a week for a couple weeks now
- Sticking to my nutrition plan at least 4 days a week (admittedly, I've been slipping on this one)
- Great walk and posture all the time, and slowness is getting better

Man, so many good habits solidified in one month...how much can I accomplish at this rate? I can keep this rate of learning and creating good habits up if I continue to deliberately practice.

I'll have night game entries coming in soon, and probably some dates will be set up in a couple weeks time

So many field reports will be, tho.

- Bounded

 

[Bounded]

Radeng, you're a killer fucking dude, cheers!

I was scrolling through some of the other boards and found that you also have a pretty tight schedule that you stick to religiously. I didn't know it was really possible until I started doing it myself.

-

Today I went out to beat my AA. I've got a moderate case of rosacea that I was feeling pretty self-conscious about, along with the fact I hadn't approached in 5 months - I feel like some pubescent teen in high school again haha.

Well, once I did that first approach, I breezed through 5 more. So, my count is at 6.

A few problems I was running into consistently while approaching:

- I usually approach on the side, and then gradually stop walking to get her to stop as well, but the issue today was I'd stop walking too early, she'd keep walking a slight bit because I caught her unprepared, but it set the frame she didn't want to stop or was in a rush. I corrected this by gradually slowing down rather than coming to a complete halt.

- Too many "You's", not enough "I's", which will probably just be solved with my nerves settling

- Lack of repartee and compliance tests

- General relating skills are a bit off - too much me and not enough adapting to the person I'm talking to.

The last 3 will regulate a bit more once my mind isn't as clouded as a couple college kids clambaking in their car, at least while I'm approaching.

- Bounded

 

[Bounded]

Goals for Approaching:

- Talking SLOWLY
- Perfect Posture
- Stand at a 90 degree angle at the beginning of the interaction

_______________________________________________________

Approach 1: I see her as I walk down the street. She's a blonde girl dressed in a puffy white jacket and black skinny pants. I turn around and approach her. As I direct open (quite nervously), she walks a little bit past me, which makes me think she's going to continue walking and blow me out. Luckily she stops and we start chatting.

Me: You're not from around here?
Her: No; I'm from the Czech Republic
Me: Ah, that's cool. Prague?
Her: Well, yeah, I lived in Prague.
Me: But you didn't grow up there?
Her: No, I grew up in a smaller area quite near to Prague.
Me: That's cool; I'm quite jealous you're from the Czech Republic.
Her: Why?
Me: Well, because I grew up in the States. And over there, we only speak one language; in the Czech Republic you're always a short step away from another country
Her: Yeah, I guess that's true
Me: So what happened to your umbrella?
Her: (starts laughing)
Me: Did you get in a fight with it? Like (simulates hitting motion with the umbrella)
Her: (laughs more - but can't remember what she said in response)
Me: That's cool, how long are you in [this country] for?
Her: Well, I'm actually leaving tomorrow.
Me: Tomorrow!
Her: Yeah
Me: And where are you flying off to after this? Back to Czech?
Her: I'm going to Asia for a while, and then yeah, back home to Europe
Me: Oh, OK cool.
(some more chatting; but this is all I can remember for now - I make my exit soon after this)

Approach 2: I spot this girl as I walk into a grocery store - initially I thought she was way too good-looking for an approach. But she stews in my thoughts for a little while, and I decide that if I don't approach her, I'm going to have a testosterone dip. And also, I've been needing to do a grocery store approach anyway.

I walk up next to her and direct open. She's kind of giving me a freaked out look, and I figure it has to do with my nervous, breathy voice? There isn't really too much to learn from this interaction, I don't think. As I found out later, my hair was all frizzed out from the rain outside. Woops haha!

My posture was a bit off, but I did open on a 90 degree angle. My voice was at a normal pace the entire time. So a success on at least 1 of the 3.

Approach 3: As I leave the grocery store, I'm going down an escalator, and I spot a girl on the street that looks like she's kind of lost. I approach her direct, and I get a pretty warm reception, if not like she's a bit shocked.

Me: So you're not from around here?
Her: No, I'm from England.
Me: Oh, that's cool. I'm quite jealous.
Her: Why?
Me: Well, because the English accent is so charming. Definitely more than mine.
Her: Really?
Me: Yeah, I mean, where do you think I come from?
Her: Uh, here?
Me: Not quite
Her: New Zealand?
Me: Closer! But not quite. Think the other side of the pond.
Her: Uh, I don't know!
Me: It is a little bit confusing; I'm actually from the States.
Her: Oh, OK. I'm really terrible with accents!
Me: Ah right, so am I usually. Which part of England are you from?
Her: Essex?
Me: Oh, totally, you've got the Essex accent.
(can't really remember this part of the conversation)
Me: So how long are you here for?
Her: Well, actually I'm leaving next week.
Me: Right, and where are you going next?
Her: Probably to Perth
Me: Oh, no way! Here, let's more over here and get out of the rain? (assumptively starts walking to a sheltered area from the rain)
Her: (follows me over)
Me: So you're going to Perth, huh? The weather will sure be better than this.
Her: Yeah, it's so cold here.
Me: You excited to go over?
Her: Kind of; I can't wait to go home, actually.
Me: No way! What do you do back home? Are you a student?
Her: Yeah, I'll be a student when I go back home.
Me: Right, and I'm trying to figure out your age. Are you going to go for your bachelors?
Her: Uh, yep, I'll be going for my bachelors.
Me: That's cool, I had a feeling that you were going to for your bachelors. So you're...?
Her: 19
Me: OK, so -
Her: Yeah, I took a gap year and went traveling for a while
Me: That's cool, where did you go?
Her: Oh, I went to Thailand for a while.
Me: Uh oh, what did you do in Thailand? (trying to make it sexual, I guess?)
Her: Actually I volunteered for a children's and animals shelter program for a couple months (that didn't go how I wanted it at all haha!)
Me: Hey, that's way cool! Wasn't expecting you to say that.
Her: Why?
Me: Well, because most people when they go to Thailand and just go to the Full Moon Party in Koh Phangan to party.
Her: Oh, right.
(another line or two of conversation that I can't really remember, but then I realized I was trying too hard to keep the conversation going, so I left a silence I wanted her to fill)
Her: Hey, so do you know where [local markets] are? (totally not the response I wanted from that silence!)
Me: Yeah, actually if you just go down this street and turn right, it'll be over there.
Her: OK, so I just go down that street and turn right, huh?
Me: Yeah, exactly. Well look, I need to get going, and I'll let you go as well, back into the rain..!
Her: OK. Was great talking to you.
Me: Well, before you go though, I actually think you're a cool gal, and I'd love to grab coffee with you sometime.
Her: Yeah, sure.
Me: OK, cool (grabbing my phone), do you have an Australian number?
Her: I don't; but we can exchange facebooks.
Me: Uh, sure, that ought to work. The only thing is that my Facebook is pretty embarrassing if you go back a couple years, so you've got to promise not to look.
Her: (laughs)
Me: (hands her the phone)
Her: (there's an awkward sort of silence as she looks for herself on facebook), I actually can't find myself on here
Me: Oh, that's weird. Well, do you use WhatsApp?
Her: No, I don't.
Me: Myspace?
Her: Myspace?? People still use that?
Me: (laughing), just messing with you. Well, it's not that big of a deal. It was lovely meeting you anyway, good luck finding the markets! And in this rain..!
Her: No worries, lovely meeting you too.

Trust me, I used to be a lot better than this..! Lots of rust to shake off.

My posture I noticed was slouched, which only happens when I approach girls, I swear. So I teed that up when I noticed, but it was during that awkward silence when she was putting her name on the phone. My talking became slower as the interaction went on, but it was at normal-faster pace when we on the first few lines of conversation. The opener was great though, 90 degree angle. But that needs to shift toward her as she asks me questions.

________________________________________________________________

My goals need to be more specific - saying "good posture" won't do. It'd be better to say "good posture during the entire opener, and while I move her, I'll think about my posture again. With 45 degree angle, the goal will be "start on 45 degree angle, and then start to face her as she asks me more questions, or as she's giving me good responses to my questions". On the speaking slowly, it'll be "have few openers to use handy, and think more about SLOWLY speaking than on the content of the opener". Thinking it'll take around 40 more approaches to get that down.

I'll take a closer look at this later, anyway. About to get some shut-eye for an hour two!

-Bounded

 

[ray_zorse]

Hey mate solid work, also you're in Aussie? what city? I'm in Melbourne, but I get around a bit. Let's hangout sometime.
Ray

 

[Bounded]

Hey mate solid work, also you're in Aussie? what city? I'm in Melbourne, but I get around a bit. Let's hangout sometime.

Ray

Hey ho, mate! Cheers, I'm further up the East Coast- if I'm ever in Melbs I'll be shooting you a PM

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Goals for Approaching (same as last time):

- Talking SLOWLY
- Perfect Posture
- Stand at a 90 degree angle at the beginning of the interaction

I'm not going to write the dialogues because I feel as though the improvements I can gain from it are minimal - the big mistakes are going to clear up while I shake this rust off. Honestly, I'm not really sure even what the point of reflecting on my conversations are until I reach the point I was at before.

These 3 goals are the most important items for now.

On the three things I practiced today: I don't know, man. It's hard to keep focus on these while I'm trying to make the conversation just work. I'm at odds between wanting to get results (i.e. a phone number and, as a result, a potential lay), and actually sharpening specific approaching skills. Short term, the first one feels better, and the second one is better for my long term results. It's also a bit confusing, like, what exactly am I even supposed to be working on?

My biggest roadblock right now is this: how do I consciously focus on these three items while I'm so busy trying to make my rapport reasonable again? Is it the chicken or the egg?

I did 5 approaches today. Had 3 numbers. Don't think that's such a bad ratio! The first one was a blowout, and the second I didn't feel much of a connection with. That had to do with conversational rustiness. The other 3 could have had better conversing on my end, but I still got all of their numbers, so that's cool. I was worried that my rosacea had decreased my looks and so I'd have a harder time picking up girls...on the contrary, the most beautiful and pretty girls are receptive to me so far. Pretty fucking awesome!

There are two big theoretical issues I need to resolve:
1. How many times do I need to practice the same thing before I need to change?
2. How do I focus on the thing I need to change so that I'm not getting distracted by just trying to get the conversation to float?

These are things I'll consider tonight when I have more time.

-Bounded

 

[ray_zorse]

Good man, I need a wing. Let me know what city in due course and I will also try to work it into my itinerary.

As to how many times to practice a thing, well it's good to have a focus on something to do until you're happy with your skills (such as, sexualizing conversations, or eye contact, or moving girls, or whatever) but this should only be a background thing, to make fast progress you need to be practicing your entire process approach-to-lay, the later stages are even MORE important because you do not get as much practice, at least initially, so if you get further in a seduction than you thought, push as hard as you can and persist to the bitter end, this will get you many reference points and also plenty of makeouts, pulls and lays to speed you on your journey, even when you're still a novice. As Chase says... it takes 10yrs just to master opening, you cannkt afford to take it step by step. Near enough is good enough!
Ray