- Joined
- Jun 1, 2015
- Messages
- 54
Hey guys,
I didn't post for quite a while since my first post here. In short I finished my bachelor and moved to a new city to start my master and got laid a few times and easier than in my previous city. So things have been working out pretty fine!
So two months ago I went on a trip with my student association which included going out every evening. On the first evening a girl of which I thought of as just a good friend from the group started dancing with me. I was quite a bit intoxicated and she's not bad looking so I went along with it anyway and made out with her and later proceeded until intense foreplay in the hostel dorm, but no sex happened since she was on her period and there were like 6 other people in the room. The next day I played it cool and she got a bit pissed. Apparently she wanted some PDA (like hooking arms/holding hands) which I didn't give her. In the evening I asked her what's wrong and she said, she just "doesn't want to make out with anyone and that I seemed like I didn't care about her". I apologized a bit and later on the same stuff happened like the night before - heavy foreplay but no sex. One week after the trip we went to the Christmas market together and later to my place. She threw me big resistance to sex, but after like 4 hours we finally did the deed. After this meet-up we had 3 weeks of holidays where I didn't see her. When we met after the holidays I told her sth like "I'm not sure I can do a relationship, but I like spending time with you" to show her, I'm not looking for sth serious at the moment. Apparently I wasn't clear enough cuz she was pushing too meet more often and asked me to stay longer etc., but no "what are we now" / relationship had occured so there was nothing official.
We met like 4 times in 4 weeks since new year since I didn't want to see her too often to keep it casual. So the last time we met was actually at her birthday party. I got too drunk (actually threw up during the party) and tried to kiss one of her friends during that party. She didn't see it but her friend told her the next day. So the next day she texted me and asked if I tried to kiss her friend which I confirmed. Then she said we should better stop meeting if I still want other girls which I agreed to. I said "we don't want the same from this" and explained that I only wanted sth casual. Then she got a bit mad cuz apparently she really thought I wanted sth serious. I apologized for having tried to kiss her friend and said I'm really sorry that I didn't communicate it clearly enough that I don't want sth serious at the moment. She apparently really didn't get it and I was setting the wrong expectations with a bit too much cuddling etc.
So she wants to meet up this week to talk about it in person. Was this the right way to end things? I know I didn't play it too nice this time. Would it be better to change it to, "I wasn't sure what I want in the beginning and then after the holidays (where I tried to set the FWB/open relationship frame) I was more sure I don't want sth serious and tried to tell you, but I didn't want to hurt you and therefore didn't manage to tell you in clear enough words." I don't want this girl to hate me, she's a really nice person in general and I will also see her still a lot around in my association.
I didn't post for quite a while since my first post here. In short I finished my bachelor and moved to a new city to start my master and got laid a few times and easier than in my previous city. So things have been working out pretty fine!
So two months ago I went on a trip with my student association which included going out every evening. On the first evening a girl of which I thought of as just a good friend from the group started dancing with me. I was quite a bit intoxicated and she's not bad looking so I went along with it anyway and made out with her and later proceeded until intense foreplay in the hostel dorm, but no sex happened since she was on her period and there were like 6 other people in the room. The next day I played it cool and she got a bit pissed. Apparently she wanted some PDA (like hooking arms/holding hands) which I didn't give her. In the evening I asked her what's wrong and she said, she just "doesn't want to make out with anyone and that I seemed like I didn't care about her". I apologized a bit and later on the same stuff happened like the night before - heavy foreplay but no sex. One week after the trip we went to the Christmas market together and later to my place. She threw me big resistance to sex, but after like 4 hours we finally did the deed. After this meet-up we had 3 weeks of holidays where I didn't see her. When we met after the holidays I told her sth like "I'm not sure I can do a relationship, but I like spending time with you" to show her, I'm not looking for sth serious at the moment. Apparently I wasn't clear enough cuz she was pushing too meet more often and asked me to stay longer etc., but no "what are we now" / relationship had occured so there was nothing official.
We met like 4 times in 4 weeks since new year since I didn't want to see her too often to keep it casual. So the last time we met was actually at her birthday party. I got too drunk (actually threw up during the party) and tried to kiss one of her friends during that party. She didn't see it but her friend told her the next day. So the next day she texted me and asked if I tried to kiss her friend which I confirmed. Then she said we should better stop meeting if I still want other girls which I agreed to. I said "we don't want the same from this" and explained that I only wanted sth casual. Then she got a bit mad cuz apparently she really thought I wanted sth serious. I apologized for having tried to kiss her friend and said I'm really sorry that I didn't communicate it clearly enough that I don't want sth serious at the moment. She apparently really didn't get it and I was setting the wrong expectations with a bit too much cuddling etc.
So she wants to meet up this week to talk about it in person. Was this the right way to end things? I know I didn't play it too nice this time. Would it be better to change it to, "I wasn't sure what I want in the beginning and then after the holidays (where I tried to set the FWB/open relationship frame) I was more sure I don't want sth serious and tried to tell you, but I didn't want to hurt you and therefore didn't manage to tell you in clear enough words." I don't want this girl to hate me, she's a really nice person in general and I will also see her still a lot around in my association.
