Breaking free from constraints imposed on you (Chase article)

ph40

Space Monkey
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I just read Chase's article at https://www.girlschase.com/content/true-freedom-means-many-weak-ties-and-few-strong-ones. In it he talks about being stuck in a certain way of thinking or being. In his case, he worked a close-to-minimum-wage job out of high school and was surrounded by people who would work that way their whole lives, but then he writes:

When I was surrounded by impoverished auto mechanics from redneck areas and the ghetto 50 hours a week for a year after high school, my world gradually shrank to fit with the world as they saw it, with larger aspirations beyond the not-much-more-than-minimum-wage world seeming ridiculous and grandiose and being a store manager looked like the best I could hope to achieve any time in the next 10 years of my life or so.

I was extremely fortunate to have come from a middle class background and to have parents who essentially forced me back into education after my year of working, because I can still very easily imagine a life where I am Chase Amante, Store Manager, and all the adventures I have had over the past decade never happened.

As I’ve modified my social circle to almost entirely other business owners in the online space, and primarily self-made multimillionaires, my perspectives on business have changed dramatically. The idea of slaving away in a low-wage job seems crazier and crazier to me... but only because I see so many successful people around me, and so many different and clear paths toward success.

How do you make that leap from "wage slave" to being self-made? I feel as if a lot of it is just mentality or mindset, too. It's easy to have a *decent* paying job that gives you some extra spending income (even though you're working 40-50 hours a week) and feel afraid to lose that, thus removing your desire to experiment with doing something greater. I know a lot of people who have "just a good enough" job that covers all of their bills and gives them a comfortable life, who might have the potential to do a lot more in their life, but don't want to compromise their comfortable position (even if they secretly wish they could do more, or have more - better car, more travel, better house/apartment).

I feel like this "transformation" of your mentality could warrant a whole article in and of itself - something like, "not settling" for guys who know they are capable of more. Do any of you, who perhaps are independently successful, have thoughts they could share on this topic?
 

trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man
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Quick note.

1)Money
2)Skills
3)Platform

Our parents will die. Our friends will fizzle out. Our society will change.
You need to replace them. Just how it is.

All Men needs to do this, if we are sincere.

Now, i just watch a video recently from Sam Ovens or Alex Becker, on Amazon. Amazon replaces their workers every 3 years, by incentives them to leave or make them do shit work/same pay that they eventually leave.

Girlschase needs to do that. GC needs to replace Zac and the older birds. Zac needs to do that in his own company. Everyone actually has to do that. In my opinion if we follow everything seriously.

Then you realize that hey wait a minute. The world isn't so mean. The world isn't as adversarial as I might think. It's kinda bit of both. We never really know until it hits. Perhaps the world is not full asshole-y and people are generally risk averse. We all want to get along and just live our own lifes.

Personally,

my society, the world is now Pro Establishment. As a kid, it was anti establishment. I'm not even 35. This is my first time seeing the global world turn a cycle.

Ask any of the guys who are 28 and above. They will say that they have seen the world change to Pro Establishment. We have seen 1 cycle in the micro trilogy.

TLDR:

Think of the world as a Spiderman Trilogy. If you are lucky to live until 120, you will see at least 3 cycles.

Your job is to move with your trilogy and the society trilogy.

Think of yourself as trilogy (micro) in a mass trilogy of society. (mass). I got called this 'Rule of 3'. It's a scientific phenomenon at least according to Mad Scientist Zac.

z@c+
 

ulrich

Cro-Magnon Man
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Do any of you, who perhaps are independently successful, have thoughts they could share on this topic?

In order to make this kind of changes you need to have a strong enough motivation.

A lot of very capable people reach a point where they say “this is enough” and stop pursuing further because they have reached or got close to their end goal.
Unless something changes (and that can be discovering something unexpected) they will not move a finger.

You need to be thirsty in order to search for water.

Lot of people WANT greatness… but most of them don’t NEED it.

The only suggestion I can give is look for new experiences, people and locations… look to be amazed and you may find the motivation.
 

think

Space Monkey
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I do wonder why chase continues to value education so much, both in his girlfriends and recommendations to others, even though it's for sheeple.. Buyer's remorse?
 

ulrich

Cro-Magnon Man
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I do wonder why chase continues to value education so much, both in his girlfriends and recommendations to others, even though it's for sheeple.. Buyer's remorse?

I guess higher education in a woman is a pretty reliable indicator of middle to high social class, commitment, independence and perhaps agreeability.
 

think

Space Monkey
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I guess higher education in a woman is a pretty reliable indicator of middle to high social class, commitment, independence and perhaps agreeability.
can't you find those things out just by talking to the person?
 

trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man
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And guys,

Merry Christmas. I wonder if Eminem will be cancelled for that little girl part.

And guys, don't drunk cycling. :p

HAHAHAHA

 

Alpha13SC

Cro-Magnon Man
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I do wonder why chase continues to value education so much, both in his girlfriends and recommendations to others, even though it's for sheeple.. Buyer's remorse?
Whenever I go out with a girl who didn't go to university, I get bored of her. It doesn t stimulate me intellectually.

It doesn t mean I want to discuss nuclear physics with her, even if it would be nice tho.
 

ulrich

Cro-Magnon Man
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can't you find those things out just by talking to the person?
Well you can, but it also takes time and effort and if a girl likes you she will pretend to be what you’re looking for.

Asking about education ends up being an effective shortcut, I guess.
 

Regal Tiger

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It comes down to the law of diminishing returns for most people

A few examples:
1) you play sports weekly with your social circle and you dominate. Is it worth it to you to grind towards the NBA? Or is dominating your social circle good enough for you?

The difference between even sniffing the NBA and dominating a random friend group is VAST.

2) Women
Let's say that you can go out 5-6 days a month and get a new girlfriend in that month. Is it worth it to you to then learn how to get a girl every night of the week if you go out? Especially if your girlfriend is good enough?

Again, there's going to be a bigger time investment in learning to pickup 100% of the time vs only like 20% of the time (completely ignoring if she's girlfriend quality, or where you meet her and etc. in this example)

3) Then there's your original question; money. If a guy has his needs met financially, what's the incentive for him to grind harder for a promotion, which will eat up MORE time after?


I like to compare situations in life like these to video game stats. Say you level up and you get 5 stat points. Where should you invest them?

If you're a level 80 knight with level 1 mage stats then do you really need those extra mana stats? Or would you be better off putting them into health and strength?

It's the exact same for people in real life. We only have so much time to do what we want to do. If we want greatness then we have to put in great effort and a great investment into time to get there. And every guy, at least subconsciously asks himself "Is this worth it to me?"

The answer for MOST people in general is going to be "No"
 

Tim Iron

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I do wonder why chase continues to value education so much, both in his girlfriends and recommendations to others, even though it's for sheeple.. Buyer's remorse?
Education is extremely valuable! It does not have to necessarily come from a university or college. And with some professions, you would always prefer a university graduate... Will you be willing to go to a self-taught doctor (or surgeon)?
 

Will_V

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The way I look at effecting change to oneself, is that real learning and change happens at the unconscious level, and the conscious part of the brain is only there to strategize on how to find or create the right environment for the unconscious learning to occur.

This is contrary to what most people do, which is to attempt to reinforce some new habit by conscious mental 'effort' and willpower. But that doesn't take into account the fact that the mind is already adaptive by nature. If you put someone in different sets of circumstances, the mind is already designed through many different systems - mainly the perceptive and the reactive/emotional - to reshape itself to be as successful as possible in that environment. And if the environment doesn't change, willpower isn't going to do anything, or at least very inefficiently, because the unconscious 'engine' is receiving all kinds of wrong inputs.

So for example if you want to be better socially, the main thing is to 1) place yourself in a social environment 2) relax enough that your perception is able to take in sufficient information, that your emotions are not chaotic and your emotional responses are proportional to reality and 3) be active enough in the pursuit of a your goal that you are stimulating feedback from your environment, providing you with a constant stream of new information.

...

In terms of escaping from lifestyle constraints, the way I look at it is that, besides choosing environment, you have two things you need to strengthen 1) your level of desire and 2) your threshold for risk. These together determine your 'impetus', how effortlessly you move forward toward your goal. So you have to find a way to expose yourself to things that increase these.

So for a lifestyle/career change, you could go and visit an environment that reflects your goal - for example go and visit a company that you'd like to work for, or a meetup of entrepreneurs, or start freelancing. Immediately your mind starts to adapt, looking for cues as to how to become successful in that environment.

For me personally, when I decided I wanted to be an entrepreneur, I began by watching a lot of youtube videos by entrepreneurs (creating a reinforcing 'social' environment and stimulating desire) and freelancing on Fiverr. I didn't need to improve my risk threshold because I didn't have any job at the time.

Immediately, through freelancing. I had the experience of being in control of a brand - a small brand, i.e. myself - but there was no one but me to determine everything. How much I would sell my services for, my schedule, dealing with customer difficulties, dealing with interruptions, marketing. It was the smallest opportunity I could find toward the goal of 'having my own company' and not very lucrative, but I took it. And through taking larger and larger opportunities, now I'm selling software products with a fairly automated system.

The worst thing you can possibly do in a situation where you need to make substantial change, is to sit there planning a big goal that you will 'eventually' take steps toward. This engages the conscious mind but nothing of the unconscious/learning side, and creates a lot of internal anxiety and conflict due to the difference between the current reality and 'the dream'. I know a couple of people like this and they've spent years hardly getting anywhere, struggling with willpower and resolve, when the small opportunities that are easy to take, which would kickstart the process of change, are lying around untaken.
 
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