Brooding vs Smooth

[zpiano]

In the article "3 Flavors of Sexy: Brooding, Smooth, and Talkative Vibes", Chase mentioned how Brooding vs Smooth vibes lend themselves to different styles of opening; i.e. how brooding men do better when women approach them whereas smooth men can handle approaching or being approached due to their elegance.

I'm naturally broody, but have been trying to incorporate more smooth elements to expand my options for meeting women. However, I've hit a wall because the smooth approach is very incongruent with my character - I'm the quiet and very reserved artistic type until I know someone well. However, my fundamentals are fairly tight, I am a traveling musician, I dress/walk well, ride a motorcycle and am in good shape, but whenever I take the initiative to talk to girls who seemed interested or were checking me out, it all crumbles.

I maintain long term relationships very well once the initial getting-to-know-her period is over. SInce I'm rather detached the girls eventually chase hard, but those girls I've had relationships were introduced to me via friends, avoiding the weak parts of my game: Opening, Repartee/Rapport etc. Many attractive girls in school or social circle have had crushes on me for long periods of time, but this is mostly due to me not approaching or pursuing them, thereby maintaining the mystery.

So the questions are, do I need to overhaul my personality to fix my opening/early game? or can I learn to approach in a brooding/more personally congruent way? Been hitting this wall for several years now, but feel like if it can be fixed I would have well-rounded game. Anyone who has had similar experiences and found solutions, please comment! Thanks guys

 

[Alcaeus]

Brooding, huh.

I'm no expert, but I do want to throw in my two cents.

I am certainly the brooding type by default. I have known it for much of my life and initially, thought I was weird because other students would be a lot more high energy than me in social situations. I've come to the realization that there is nothing wrong with this personality type per se, but it does have a spectrum. Lean too far into low energy and you can be considered emo and anti social and if you go too far into the other direction, people will view you as eccentric. I've been accused of both.

The biggest bonus brooding people have is that since they are low energy, they are very cool by default. People will wonder about you, and when in your presence, they will behave like they are walking on egg shells because you are so cool. And that could be a problem.

When you approach them or open them first, much of that mystery disappears and they can view themselves as higher in comparison to you. There are two ways to remedy this.

You either have to open them super situational or direct.

With super situational it looks like I have no interest in them and was forced to interact with them. This breaks the barrier yet retains your mystery.

With direct I state my interest, keep it very low energy and don't beat around the bush. She knows what's up, so she either takes it or leaves it.
(A disclaimer with Brooding Direct: You may face no resistance or a mountain of it. In reference to the mountain, girls will shit test you to see if you are the real deal. It is imperative that you maintain your frames and don't get trolled/flustered.)

I remind myself to smile, be warm and reward her when she does nice things.

When girls approach you, you know it's on!

Girls who approach me, I skip steps and escalate like it's the last time to fuck.

Zpiano, I hope this helps and welcome to the boards

-Alcay

A side note: Though brooding is my default personality, I do have other personality types I tap into in certain environments. At networking events, I am very dynamic and sociable. When I cold approach, I am very upbeat and exude positivity. Social circle is when I sometimes fall back on my brooding habits.

I encourage you to explore too.

 

[zpiano]

Alcay, read your reply last night and thought it over today - great stuff. The bit about approaching on either end of the situational/direct spectrum makes a lot of sense as recently I accidentally opened a couple girls super situationally with great responses (during both encounters I mistook the girl for a close friend and greeted her accordingly, super casual since I thought I had known her for years. It's alarming how well girls respond to that kind of relaxed confidence...)

Appreciate the feedback, encouraging and helpful advice for sure. Cheers my man

-Zack