- Joined
- Dec 25, 2012
- Messages
- 1,124
Hey fellas,
I think I know why I'm dropping the ball in situations, yet I am quite frustrated with myself and determined to overcome that weak part of me that just refuses to die. So I'm sharing my struggle.
Today-
Notice a petite girl walking ahead of me with long hair. I'm a fan of those two qualities. I ride by her on my board and make sure she has time to notice me (minding the preopen) and turn to see her face... Dammit. A cutie. Why dammit? Because I just am too cool/awkward to give a playful look, stop rolling, and tell her she's cute. So I roll off with no balls.
Next is dance class. There is another petite girl in this class. Like I said, I'm a fan. Today I'm not participating due to an injury. So I have plenty of time to enjoy the view. The girl in class is familiar with me and I have been doing a little bit to build tension between us in pervious classes.
I usually have trouble with eye contact, not with holding it, but with glancing too much. However I learned something today. As a high sex drive individual, perhaps my eyes are just hungry and much more interested in checking out girls than looking at anything else. Rather than staring (which is obviously uncomfortable for girls) I just let my eyes indulge and yielded some positive results. It was almost like I was more congruent with myself, my eyes dominating her body. I noticed a very subtle submission on her part (being aware of how she responds to you looking at her is critical, otherwise you are just staring) to allow me to just take her in unapologetically. This deserves much more testing and exploring.
So with that the tension grew and I was burning with desire. I knew it was time to strike. Class ended and I was ready. Oh wait, problem. I'm ready to leave and she has to get ready. Standing around here will just look weird. So I walk away from another cute and probably interested girl.
I have a big issue with opening girls in unnatural, unsmooth, or unusual situations. And it's stupid. It frustrates the hell out of me because 95% of those times I see a girl I think is cute, it's one of those situations. Thinking back I should have just waited for the girl to get ready down the hall AND not hide the fact that I was waiting for her. It honestly and ironically for me, would have been perfectly natural and normal.
My diagnoses is my environment and the added mental frame I've put it into...
I've just experienced the longest, coldest winter of my life, and it beat me down and sucked out my inspiration. I didn't realize how bad it was until the first sunny warm day of spring. I was like WTF? I forgot how much I liked to run around in the fresh air and sunshine. So pretty sure I was suffering from seasonal depression. Already I am feel a little more alive with the few nice days we had.
The otherside is the mental frame I put this shitty place in. I call it shitty because it's cold, lacks people with ambition, and I live far from the action and the areas where cute girls frequent. It is definitely possible to overcome these things, simply dress warmer and drive the long distance to where the cool people are. Yet, I'm so keenly aware of the greener grass that I ignore my own local little spots of lush. It's probably more me than the environment, even if the grass is greener elsewhere.
So applying this to meeting girls, I'm not only rusty, unpracticed from the few opportunities I have to practice, but I'm carrying around this uninspired vibe. I'm fighting to put myself out there lacking the passion for life I usually have.
Fortunately warmer weather is coming. I'm actually moving to a much much warmer area as well. I feel that the remedy here is simply sunshine and exposing myself to more opportunities to meet girls.
Please if you think I'm missing a point about my situation, tell me. Tough love is welcome, give it to me straight Doc.
-Jww
I think I know why I'm dropping the ball in situations, yet I am quite frustrated with myself and determined to overcome that weak part of me that just refuses to die. So I'm sharing my struggle.
Today-
Notice a petite girl walking ahead of me with long hair. I'm a fan of those two qualities. I ride by her on my board and make sure she has time to notice me (minding the preopen) and turn to see her face... Dammit. A cutie. Why dammit? Because I just am too cool/awkward to give a playful look, stop rolling, and tell her she's cute. So I roll off with no balls.
Next is dance class. There is another petite girl in this class. Like I said, I'm a fan. Today I'm not participating due to an injury. So I have plenty of time to enjoy the view. The girl in class is familiar with me and I have been doing a little bit to build tension between us in pervious classes.
I usually have trouble with eye contact, not with holding it, but with glancing too much. However I learned something today. As a high sex drive individual, perhaps my eyes are just hungry and much more interested in checking out girls than looking at anything else. Rather than staring (which is obviously uncomfortable for girls) I just let my eyes indulge and yielded some positive results. It was almost like I was more congruent with myself, my eyes dominating her body. I noticed a very subtle submission on her part (being aware of how she responds to you looking at her is critical, otherwise you are just staring) to allow me to just take her in unapologetically. This deserves much more testing and exploring.
So with that the tension grew and I was burning with desire. I knew it was time to strike. Class ended and I was ready. Oh wait, problem. I'm ready to leave and she has to get ready. Standing around here will just look weird. So I walk away from another cute and probably interested girl.
I have a big issue with opening girls in unnatural, unsmooth, or unusual situations. And it's stupid. It frustrates the hell out of me because 95% of those times I see a girl I think is cute, it's one of those situations. Thinking back I should have just waited for the girl to get ready down the hall AND not hide the fact that I was waiting for her. It honestly and ironically for me, would have been perfectly natural and normal.
My diagnoses is my environment and the added mental frame I've put it into...
I've just experienced the longest, coldest winter of my life, and it beat me down and sucked out my inspiration. I didn't realize how bad it was until the first sunny warm day of spring. I was like WTF? I forgot how much I liked to run around in the fresh air and sunshine. So pretty sure I was suffering from seasonal depression. Already I am feel a little more alive with the few nice days we had.
The otherside is the mental frame I put this shitty place in. I call it shitty because it's cold, lacks people with ambition, and I live far from the action and the areas where cute girls frequent. It is definitely possible to overcome these things, simply dress warmer and drive the long distance to where the cool people are. Yet, I'm so keenly aware of the greener grass that I ignore my own local little spots of lush. It's probably more me than the environment, even if the grass is greener elsewhere.
So applying this to meeting girls, I'm not only rusty, unpracticed from the few opportunities I have to practice, but I'm carrying around this uninspired vibe. I'm fighting to put myself out there lacking the passion for life I usually have.
Fortunately warmer weather is coming. I'm actually moving to a much much warmer area as well. I feel that the remedy here is simply sunshine and exposing myself to more opportunities to meet girls.
Please if you think I'm missing a point about my situation, tell me. Tough love is welcome, give it to me straight Doc.
-Jww
