Calls & Texts Buzzed and horny 30+ chick getting self conscious over text

[Conquistador]

A couple evenings ago I went to a random mixer and one of the numbers I got was from this petite ~35 yo who had had a couple beers and was giving a strong impression of being a horny subby little thing. She clearly enjoyed having to be in very close proximity to me (6’2”) and wing (5’11”) in order to hear each other over the music, and gave us her undivided attention and kept coming back. Almsot flashed us at one point.
No, I don’t think she was dtf enough to just have us both rail her in the alley (the sun was still up) and besides we weren’t up for that.

Anyway, I chatted her up on text and she told both me and wing (separately obvs) that, among several other things, she liked video games (yeah, right) but when I asked her, as a naturally flowing tangent, what she thought healthy sex was (taking care to frame her as just “wiser” rather than anything else) she told me it was a question she “wasn’t really wanting to answer but you’re cool ” followed by, after I asked for her honest opinion “I'm really sorry I'm super sleepy”.

Overall, she’s clearly still interested but “you got her low key self conscious” (in wing’s words).

Also, I’m planning on leading her more from now on and other changes.

 

[Conquistador]

Edit bug strikes again…

Last time I had to deal with the sober-alcohol dissonance in sexual openness, it was the reverse. An older girl was really forward texting after she had gotten drunk at home, then disavowed it all when we met up the next day.

Advice, thoughts, tips?

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Edit bug strikes again…

Last time I had to deal with the sober-alcohol dissonance in sexual openness, it was the reverse. An older girl was really forward texting after she had gotten drunk at home, then disavowed it all when we met up the next day.

Advice, thoughts, tips?

NEVER mention sex over text unless you really know what your doing

 

[Kaida]

NEVER mention sex over text unless you really know what your doing

I agree with Biggus.

Sexual innuendo is fine, but if there was no sex talk prior to taking the number than I feel its too high risk low reward to mention it over text. It rarely ends well for me

 

[Skills]

A couple evenings ago I went to a random mixer and one of the numbers I got was from this petite ~35 yo who had had a couple beers and was giving a strong impression of being a horny subby little thing. She clearly enjoyed having to be in very close proximity to me (6’2”) and wing (5’11”) in order to hear each other over the music, and gave us her undivided attention and kept coming back. Almsot flashed us at one point.
No, I don’t think she was dtf enough to just have us both rail her in the alley (the sun was still up) and besides we weren’t up for that.

Anyway, I chatted her up on text and she told both me and wing (separately obvs) that, among several other things, she liked video games (yeah, right) but when I asked her, as a naturally flowing tangent, what she thought healthy sex was (taking care to frame her as just “wiser” rather than anything else) she told me it was a question she “wasn’t really wanting to answer but you’re cool ” followed by, after I asked for her honest opinion “I'm really sorry I'm super sleepy”.

Overall, she’s clearly still interested but “you got her low key self conscious” (in wing’s words).

Also, I’m planning on leading her more from now on and other changes.

yeah this is a very poor transition from video game to sex, this is no how you transition at all to sexual topics over text....

Hey how is your day going did you hear about this new italian restaurant in Brookling, btw talking about brooking did you know women can squirt if finger in the ass....

^ see i am trying to make a point your transition was very abrupt and uncalibrated... That is why she rejected you... In your defense the hardest part of sex talking that took me years to understand is transitioning.... Look for articles from teevester/alek rolstand (on transitioning) so you can understand a bit better....

 

[Conquistador]

yeah this is a very poor transition from video game to sex, this is no how you transition at all to sexual topics over text....

I mentioned that because she was clearly trying to seem relatable/similar.
I didn’t start a thread on video games obviously lolll
The transition was from alcohol iirc because I just turned 21.
It wasn’t quite perfectly smooth but neither was it super uncalibrated. But I don’t think she handed me a full rejection anyway based on the other things she said. More a roadblock.

 

[Gladiator]

I mentioned that because she was clearly trying to seem relatable/similar.
I didn’t start a thread on video games obviously lolll
The transition was from alcohol iirc because I just turned 21.
It wasn’t quite perfectly smooth but neither was it super uncalibrated. But I don’t think she handed me a full rejection anyway based on the other things she said. More a roadblock.

I see your point.. You might've thought, she was open in-person and miscalculated over text.

Remember, texting and in-person interactions are completely different. Otherwise, there was no need to learn text-game. Texting is the lowest form of communication. There's no body language, voice, facial expressions etc involved. Moreover, the vibe is different and her mood is different. So, you'll have to first warm her up to a point where she's receptive of sexual conversation. In person, if done right, you can even transition like how Skills joked. For example, if your flirting is trollish, you can try that.

BTW, I don't see any advantage of sex talk over texting. It may make it a bit easier to control the frame but if not done right, it'll backfire as well.
Not worth the risk.

With this woman, she's currently negative, give it a couple of days and after some bantering, bring her to neutral and follow the normal texting process from Skills without bringing up sex over text again.

 

[Skills]

BTW, I don't see any advantage of sex talk over texting. It may make it a bit easier to control the frame but if not done right, it'll backfire as well.
Not worth the risk.

You can do multiple forms of sex talk over text(direct sex talk, indirect sex talk, grandmaster direct, grandmaster indirect) by calibrating, gauging reactions, transitioning correctly...the advantage is if you meet, you have set up a sexual encounter...... I go in detail here and here

 

[Zoro]

Even in the best case scenario with sexting, you have a horny girl who is NOT currently in person with you, who maybe got enough validation from the sexting to not meet up with you, and/or now maybe feels too much pressure to meet because the interaction has more expectations on sex.

I personally don't like doing anything more than logistics and light chitchat over text. Too much potential for miscommunication.

 

[Skills]

Even in the best case scenario with sexting, you have a horny girl who is NOT currently in person with you, who maybe got enough validation from the sexting to not meet up with you, and/or now maybe feels too much pressure to meet because the interaction has more expectations on sex.

I personally don't like doing anything more than logistics and light chitchat over text. Too much potential for miscommunication.

I know what you are saying but is not like this when done correctly... what will happen if done correctly is she will fantazize and do projections on you of the guy she wants you to be...think of a novel effect on women same effect....

Cases were second generation verbals such as sex talk and sexting does not work (sex talk/sexting troubleshooting) - The Skills Method

First sex talk/sexting is a misleading term because sex talk is not “I want my cock deep inside your pussy and bust all over your face” (though this could actually … Continue Reading →

www.theskillsmethod.com

 

[Zoro]

I know what you are saying but is not like this when done correctly... what will happen if done correctly is she will fantazize and do projections on you of the guy she wants you to be...think of a novel effect on women same effect....

Is it worth trying? I know it can be done right, but I wonder if it’s overkill or too risky to bother with. In other words, in what situations would sexting make sense?

The only times I’ve used sexting was when I got numbers from online of girls abroad and since I knew I was unlikely to meet them in person anytime soon, I would get them horny with teasing and descriptions of what might happen if we were together and have them send me pictures. I’ve sexted with girlfriends and other situations, but never with a girl I was trying to meet up with who I had yet to have a date with.

The one time I did it with a girl I was trying to meet up with, I was traveling and didn’t know when I’d be back. Met the girl through day game and she was pretty resistant to meeting up. While I was traveling we were texting (not sure why, I usually don’t like to text, I probably sent her a travel picture to pique her interest and see if she’d send me a picture back). While we didn’t explicitly sext, she was sending me pictures with cleavage and in lingerie. We also were expressing both talking about how we wish we were together in person

After I arrived home a few weeks later I pinged her and she was pretty standoffish and claimed to have a boyfriend now.

Either she really got a boyfriend, or since I was traveling she felt comfortable to have a little fun and validation without any pressure to meet up. She was a little odd, seemed to have reservations about men, maybe had some bad experiences. Very beautiful.

I am thinking a time to use sexting would be online game or when you want to frame the interaction as sexual because you know she is looking for that. Even then, I think some hints and a thin excuse to come over (wine at my place!) would be enough.

Or also if for some reason you think you need to demonstrate you know what you’re doing and so tease her well and build up her excitement and then detail what you do to girls like her in the bedroom. At least that’s how I do it and the girls love it, sometimes send pictures without asking. But again those were not with girls I was trying to meet up with for the first time.

 

[Skills]

Is it worth trying? I know it can be done right, but I wonder if it’s overkill or too risky to bother with. In other words, in what situations would sexting make sense?

The only times I’ve used sexting was when I got numbers from online of girls abroad and since I knew I was unlikely to meet them in person anytime soon, I would get them horny with teasing and descriptions of what might happen if we were together and have them send me pictures. I’ve sexted with girlfriends and other situations, but never with a girl I was trying to meet up with who I had yet to have a date with.

The one time I did it with a girl I was trying to meet up with, I was traveling and didn’t know when I’d be back. Met the girl through day game and she was pretty resistant to meeting up. While I was traveling we were texting (not sure why, I usually don’t like to text, I probably sent her a travel picture to pique her interest and see if she’d send me a picture back). While we didn’t explicitly sext, she was sending me pictures with cleavage and in lingerie. We also were expressing both talking about how we wish we were together in person

After I arrived home a few weeks later I pinged her and she was pretty standoffish and claimed to have a boyfriend now.

Either she really got a boyfriend, or since I was traveling she felt comfortable to have a little fun and validation without any pressure to meet up. She was a little odd, seemed to have reservations about men, maybe had some bad experiences. Very beautiful.

I am thinking a time to use sexting would be online game or when you want to frame the interaction as sexual because you know she is looking for that. Even then, I think some hints and a thin excuse to come over (wine at my place!) would be enough.

Or also if for some reason you think you need to demonstrate you know what you’re doing and so tease her well and build up her excitement and then detail what you do to girls like her in the bedroom. At least that’s how I do it and the girls love it, sometimes send pictures without asking. But again those were not with girls I was trying to meet up with for the first time.

Well i dont think i have ever texted a girl without some type of sexting involved... again is not what you guys think it is...it is very subtle and not bulgar you are always gauging and calibrating to her responses, and you are not on that thread it is being constantly mix with normal topics...it crazy effectve tbh... but yeah i dont recommend till you know more or less what you are doing....

 

[Zoro]

Well i dont think i have ever texted a girl without some type of sexting involved... again is not what you guys think it is...it is very subtle and not bulgar you are always gauging and calibrating to her responses, and you are not on that thread it is being constantly mix with normal topics...it crazy effectve tbh... but yeah i dont recommend till you know more or less what you are doing....

I get what you're saying. The undertone of the interaction has sexuality in it, moving towards it, just not always noticeable or overt, but sometimes it is, because you're also calibrating. If she's down, then you get down.

 

[Conquistador]

I think the real issue is that I don’t have it together enough to be consistent about methods.

If I was in state I’d probably have remembered to just follow the dogma of “don’t sexualize over text” (apart from light flirting/innuendo).

However, I think I did that because I felt it was the correct thing to do. That, and I was probing too carefully overall.
If I had started texting with a more forward and less social frame, it might have gone differently. I didn’t feel like being polarizing for some reason though.

 

[Skills]

I get what you're saying. The undertone of the interaction has sexuality in it, moving towards it, just not always noticeable or overt, but sometimes it is, because you're also calibrating. If she's down, then you get down.

bingo! if she is negative reacting you smoothly go to other thread change topics or back off, then maybe try again etc... But even if it does not work and you change topics already you have put sex in the equation she has to think about it, no way out....

 

[Will_V]

A couple evenings ago I went to a random mixer and one of the numbers I got was from this petite ~35 yo who had had a couple beers and was giving a strong impression of being a horny subby little thing. She clearly enjoyed having to be in very close proximity to me (6’2”) and wing (5’11”) in order to hear each other over the music, and gave us her undivided attention and kept coming back. Almsot flashed us at one point.
No, I don’t think she was dtf enough to just have us both rail her in the alley (the sun was still up) and besides we weren’t up for that.

Anyway, I chatted her up on text and she told both me and wing (separately obvs) that, among several other things, she liked video games (yeah, right) but when I asked her, as a naturally flowing tangent, what she thought healthy sex was (taking care to frame her as just “wiser” rather than anything else) she told me it was a question she “wasn’t really wanting to answer but you’re cool ” followed by, after I asked for her honest opinion “I'm really sorry I'm super sleepy”.

Overall, she’s clearly still interested but “you got her low key self conscious” (in wing’s words).

Also, I’m planning on leading her more from now on and other changes.

My advice would be to follow the standard procedure: get the #, text her to get her on a date, escalate on the date, take her home. Until you know how to take more risky moves.

The transitioning into sex talk here was way too abrupt like others have mentioned, first of all just asking a question about sex just like that is asking to get ghosted, secondly what is 'healthy sex'? Not clear, more reason to just ghost. etc.

I don't talk sex on the phone unless we already had sex talk in person and the vibe is very chill about it, but even in-person on dates, transitioning is smooth - like bringing up the idea of being free and living life on your own terms, and even when I bring up sex it's usually a general comment that has nothing to do with her specifically to gauge her nonverbal reaction, not an outright question about her specific position on it with my intentions unclear.

 

[Chad Tyrone]

Well i dont think i have ever texted a girl without some type of sexting involved... again is not what you guys think it is...it is very subtle and not bulgar you are always gauging and calibrating to her responses, and you are not on that thread it is being constantly mix with normal topics...it crazy effectve tbh... but yeah i dont recommend till you know more or less what you are doing....

It is effective fr fr...had one who once flaked on me.It didn't bother me any since I was working on other plates at the time too.Forgot about her completely only for her to call me a month later .

Had even forgot her name lol but anyways texted her and she was down for a meet.Closed two hours later (no need to have gamed her more)after meeting her,no lmr...

But yeah her responses do matter.Good for calibration, information to utilize to your advantage and good to remap.(Dave Riker's stuff )Was using the good lover gambit on yet another and she said that she wants a guy who can give her money...employed frame control and got her agreeing to everything I said.

". ..you would like the guy that generates deeper emotions within you and allows you to act on them on a deeper level ,than you would a guy who just gives you money freely and besides he's out to get something from you "

Anyway about to meet her soon.Funny thing is they usually don't know how I even look like before we meet but usually down to come out regardless .

With good calibration,good verbals and good text game it even helps to screen out chicks that would have been a waste of your time.

Chad

 

[POB]

Well, she is 35.
Asd spikes are common in that age group.
Just hearing the word sex with a guy they didn't fuck yet gives them goosebumps.
I would put the heavy breaks on sexting and just start a regular conversation that leads to a date.
Game her in person.
After pipi in vagina 2-3x, do whatever you feel like.

 

[Conquistador]

Update: Yesterday I had a good texting session with her.

I didn’t try to arrange a date because my schedule/workload is messed up already.

 

[Bo Diddley]

When she mentions video games, you mention joysticks. Not her std status.

"Hey, I like hiking too. Btw do you have herpes?" said no man ever.