Calibration question -> does this count as "compliance"

[DarkKnight]

Hey guys..

First.. This is not a "how can I get this girl post".. It is rather about trying to refine my calibration/instincts. I am actually not interested in this one at all but bare with me.

Short context:

Last 2 weeks I had pinged multiple girls.. one of them was this insta chick.. We had 2 funny convo's and the vibe was decent. One day suddenly she acts totally oblivious to my presence.. but without the autorejecting vibe.. She was rather devoid of emotion.. so it seemed. No problem, I dropped the situation like a brick with no hard feelings. I did notice she was hovering around this other guy all the time. Again no problem.

Yesterday: I saw her again.. she didn't greet or acknowledge me.. I didn't do so either. She was with the same guy again. I didn't mind, did my thing.. people came up to me, the vibe was good. At one point I was talking with 2 guys.. suddenly this chick came around.. and this time instead of devoidness of emotion I sensed her changed vibe towards me, it was needy. She started talking with the guy next to me, but her body was pointed towards me.

- Stop here:
I was thinking right here.. if I were to game this girl. If I would be interested. Should I see her talking with the guy next to me in order to draw my attention as "compliance" or not, because it seems as a grey area. After all she is not engaging me but the other guy.. even though her intention was clearly to get my attention.. which she could have done by just saying "hi" since there was clear previous rapport. I do not like rewarding shirkers. Then again, the game is about being pragmatic not a hardass.
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Funny thing happened later on.. I went to the exit and I greeted with my arm towards an ex-marine friend I have.. she was with the other guy and probably saw me from the periphery of her eyes.. she immediately spun around.. anticipated/hoped that the greeting was towards her, until she noticed it was towards the other guy.

 

[Slick]

Did her pupils dilate when she saw the marine?

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@DarkKnight dude! This isn't compliance, compliance is doing something for you, following your lead, doing what you ask, working with you. This is an attention move to get you to notice her/ think about her/ chase her. It's a diluted jealousy plot being seen with other guys near you.

Depending on context it's a ping to suck you into the conversation or a conversation trap. It's really only seen in social circle and as an outlier night game, it's deployed in the same way you'd approach a group and drop conversation bait to get her to engage, if she knows you'll engage your friends and she's interacting with them you're socially forced into interacting with her or being extremely icy to her/ ignore your friends.

 

[DarkKnight]

@Fluxcapacitor Interesting! So in theory.. this is something to reward/punish? I would think punish in that regard because it is in the attention whoring spectrum. Do you agree>?

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@DarkKnight dude! Very difficult to punish, if she's standing by your friend and you say bye to them but not her that's very cold and really uncalibrated socially. This is really only acceptable in very very rare instances and this isn't one. You'll look socially clueless and very emotionally hurt by her for no reason. You'd have to acknowledge her and say bye (if you're leaving) but you don't have to be super friendly.

It's subtly on the attention whore spectrum (in context) but it can also be a social tactic. It's basically ambushing at the water fountain to force an interaction. Sometimes it's a nice play because she's too shy to approach you and give away her power but I'll usually let her chase a little by acknowledging her and letting her fill in the gap and then rewarding this

 

[DarkKnight]

dude! Very difficult to punish, if she's standing by your friend and you say bye to them but not her that's very cold and really uncalibrated socially. This is really only acceptable in very very rare instances and this isn't one. You'll look socially clueless and very emotionally hurt by her for no reason. You'd have to acknowledge her and say bye (if you're leaving) but you don't have to be super friendly. ->True.. really punishing it might be over the top. I still didn't see reason to engage her though, since she didn't engage me but the other guy. That wasn't punishing, it was mirroring her investment.

It's subtly on the attention whore spectrum (in context) but it can also be a social tactic. It's basically ambushing at the water fountain to force an interaction -> This isn't so bad. I could have rewarded this.. a bit. Maybe with a smile or so. Not with full on engagement.

Okay, I feel the situation is more clear to me thx dude

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

The smile/hi/bye is addressed to the "group" and is the "reward" you don't give full engagement at this point. This is an acknowledgement, she then fills in the gap.

Alternatively you flip this tactic and use it against her, acknowledge the "group" and then engage with your friend breaking their circle and drop conversation bait for her to get involved or watch her try to get involved with whatever you're talking about. This is a smash and grab really quick interaction unless you've got reason to stay. You're not high jacking the conversation and fading her out.

 

[DarkKnight]

To be honest I couldn't be bothered with her.. she also exited the group faster than me. For me the most important part was filling in the calibration part if I would serious about her. In my mind best thing to do would be acknowledge her with a smile.. give some upped warmth, but still let her chase since it is still a bit baity especially after prolonged time of disengagement.